Just saw a news excerpt on how people abandon their newborn baby girls in the Edhi centre. There’s a little jhoola outside the centre where they often find an abandoned little baby girl. 
Why are girls such a burden for these parents? Is it the fear of jahez? The fact that girls don’t usually work odd jobs outdoors in Pakistan so can’t make money unlike boys? But surely they can and do work in other people’s homes etc? I just don’t understand…
Re: Who is to blame?
apparently the swings look like this:
correction…they are much better than the one shown above…found other pics online but they are really tiny…
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Lack of knowledge ?
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its so sad
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Just saw a news excerpt on how people abandon their newborn baby **girls **in the Edhi centre. There's a little jhoola outside the centre where they often find an abandoned little baby girl. :(
Why are girls such a burden for these parents? Is it the fear of jahez? The fact that girls don't usually work odd jobs outdoors in Pakistan so can't make money unlike boys? But surely they can and do work in other people's homes etc? I just don't understand....
not just girls, boys too.
secondly this is for people who committed adultery or don't want one or whatever the reason.
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Please don't get me started on this.
What excuse do the well-off folks have? Even now you see the mentality where women give you dua for a son and justify by saying "oh there's no difference between sons and daughters these days but daughters go away to another family so you have no right over them anymore." Why? Why this thinking?
My questions:
1. Why is a daughter supposed to treat her "new" family as a priority? If you look at the religious perspective, jannah lies under the feet of YOUR mother not your spouse's mother, and there is no addendum nullifying this after marriage. Why is it that it is OK for men to visit their families as often as they wish to, but the girl must always be kiafat-shaar and resist the temptation to go to her parents' home whenever she feels like?
2. Why do parents spend more money on their son's education and are always hesitant to spend on their daughter's education.
3. Why so much pressure on girls' parents for wedding expenses? When will parents realize that if they educate their daughters, they can actually start a process of cleaning up the social mess.
/vent.
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not just girls, boys too.
secondly this is for people who committed adultery or don't want one or whatever the reason.
I'm sure the percentage of girls is way higher.
Ok the second case is understandable.
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I feel sorry for girls.... on the other hand, even more Respect for Mr. Eidhi :)
What a blessing we have from ALLAH :)
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Please don't get me started on this.
What excuse do the well-off folks have? Even now you see the mentality where women give you dua for a son and justify by saying "oh there's no difference between sons and daughters these days but daughters go away to another family so you have no right over them anymore." Why? Why this thinking?
My questions: 1. Why is a daughter supposed to treat her "new" family as a priority? If you look at the religious perspective, jannah lies under the feet of YOUR mother not your spouse's mother, and there is no addendum nullifying this after marriage. Why is it that it is OK for men to visit their families as often as they wish to, but the girl must always be kiafat-shaar and resist the temptation to go to her parents' home whenever she feels like? 2. Why do parents spend more money on their son's education and are always hesitant to spend on their daughter's education. 3. Why so much pressure on girls' parents for wedding expenses? When will parents realize that if they educate their daughters, they can actually start a process of cleaning up the social mess.
/vent.
......
my thoughts exactly, their should not be any difference between boy or girl but there is in every society around the world from the very beginning of mankind and it will stay as it is until the very end.
few reasons why:
1) people want son who will carry on the family name and make sure family lineage is well and alive
2) parents expect the son to take care of them when they are old
3) boys are stronger and better workers that could keep the family business alive or help dad around
4) Boys were just considered better than girls, its genetics because they were and are heirs to thrones
i can go on .. and on, but lets make a stop here - that's how the world is and it will stay as it is.
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What Firenze said, the main purpose is what he quoted, that is why the quote on the wall says dont commit another sin (murder) when you have already committed one sin (adultery)
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......
my thoughts exactly, their should not be any difference between boy or girl but there is in every society around the world from the very beginning of mankind and it will stay as it is until the very end.
few reasons why:
1) people want son who will carry on the family name and make sure family lineage is well and alive
2) parents expect the son to take care of them when they are old
3) boys are stronger and better workers that could keep the family business alive or help dad around
4) Boys were just considered better than girls, its genetics because they were and are heirs to thrones
i can go on .. and on, but lets make a stop here - that's how the world is and it will stay as it is.
But tell me,
1. What will happen if there is a break in the lineage? Hell will break loose? One day we all have to die, so what does it matter?
2. Why? Why can't daughters help too? If I had a brother, I'd be very sad if only he helped my mom dad. I'd want to help as well.
3. Oh come on. I work out. I have better endurance and muscles than many of you men. I'm also emotionally more stable [please check my infractions record on GS].
4. Bad social norm. Let's change it.
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1) it does matter, yup the hell will loose that's the way Allah made the system, already the fertility rate is declining around the around. we have clear shortage of men in Pakistan.
2) off course daughters can help too, no one is stopping them. but the system is she suppose to marry and make more babies and take care of them. and the guy either have to work or go to jail
3) right. i can name million of fields where women just can't show results on per with men. as per emotionally powerful, it depends on the person - neither their is any scientific study to prove it.
4) well i will resist.
men conquer nations women work in kitchen, totally different scale of thinking
i know a family the uncle/aunti is in their late 40s and they have three daughters - they are financally stable and well educated but uncle some time says "kash mera ik beta hota" .. and i would told him every time "you are blessed" and his reply "jub meri age ko phunchoo gey tu phir samjhoo gey" .. creepy i know..
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Firenze,
The "men conquer nations, women work in the kitchen" theory is a bit off now considering that most men I know are better cooks than women. :D If we all did a bit of everything, what an awesome place this world would be.
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Old fashioned BS thinking and our people will never advance if they keep thinking this way.
I'm gonna adopt one of those little munchkins as soon as I can pay off my loans.
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You'd be surprised how many of those parents drop their babies (or daughters in this case) at the Edhi center in order to save their lives, in their view, they did their child a life long favour. Its not the simple case of 'they hate daughters so they abandon them' at the Edhi centre, when a woman is a victim of unimaginable sexual abuse, violence and suffering from extreme poverty without a home or shelter of her own, she's simply better off leaving her child at the Edhi center than letting her rot on the streets with her so the child too can become a victim of sexual abuse by the age of four, sadly every now and then, you do hear such vile and horrific stories from the subcontienent.
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It is more happening in middle classes .
There was a good program on Tv by Aamir Khan on the issue.
Leaving child is a much complicated issue .
Our growing population is too a factor .
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I wish we had a law , by which , any one in pakistan , who is making more then 250 k per month , should legally adopt one of these poor kids ..
But I wish !
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We have four girls in our family and I have never heard any of our parents say "kash mera beta hota". I think I've actually heard them say they prefer their daughters to sons any day.
Children are a blessing and if you treat them that way...they do become a blessing for you.
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If only all these people realised that the daughters are more a blessing and it's the daughters that can take parents to heaven!
Other than that - i HATE it when people will not use contraception because they're like it's a sin - WELL IM BLOODY SURE IT'S A SIN TO ABANDON YOUR CHILD OR GIVE THEM A RUBBISH UPBRINGING! Some people's ignorance/selfishness will just piss me right off!
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It’s so disturbing to think that in the day and age we are in there is STILL a divide between both genders. We love to criticise the older generation but many times those who are in the same age range as us have the same mentality.
My questions:
*1. Why is a daughter supposed to treat her "new" family as a priority? If you look at the religious perspective, jannah lies under the feet of YOUR mother not your spouse's mother, and there is no addendum nullifying this after marriage. Why is it that it is OK for men to visit their families as often as they wish to, but the girl must always be kiafat-shaar and resist the temptation to go to her parents' home whenever she feels like?*
Very true women are expected to drop their own mother over the mother in-law. Although she is also your mother in a way she is not the one who gave birth to you. Your responsibility is your OWN mother. In Islam it is up to the wife if she wishes to take care of her in-laws as this is not her duty. Her duty is to her husband and children.
*2. Why do parents spend more money on their son's education and are always hesitant to spend on their daughter's education. *
Mashallah my parents treated us all equal in education and upbringing. I read somewhere once that a family where getting their son married at one time and requested the girl’s family to pay back the costs that they had spent on their sons education.... Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh so annoyed me this may be the reason as to why some parents are hesitant.
3. Why so much pressure on girls' parents for wedding expenses? When will parents realize that if they educate their daughters, they can actually start a process of cleaning up the social **
**mess?****
Some parents actually bring it upon themselves by asking what they can contribute to the wedding, why on earth should they when they are giving their child. Even the educated ones do this.