In the west a lot gets blamed on the culture and surroundings upon the value system of the people who grew up here. It seems to make sense, one is affected by the peer groups, the general attitude of society towards issues like drinking etc. etc.
Why is it then, that a number of people who grow up in supposed “Islamic” countries, Upon moving to west exhibit behaviours that are a taboo in their own country.
Not only that, many things go on behind closed doors in these countries, which are not generally accepted..but they still happen.
Should kids growing up in strict countries like Saudi Arabia be better able to distinguish between right and wrong and be more steadfast in their actions? Is that the case or am I the only one who has seen desis and arabs who were raised in the middle east also partake in activities that are not accepted by the society that they grew up in.
The reason to get into the above mishmash was to try to argue for my point that the wayward actions of many young people has less to do with the culture that they are living in and more to do with the failure on the part of the parents to ensure their children’s correct development by educating, leading by example.
I am not saying that culture and society do not play a part, because it does, but we do see people living in the same city, same area and going to the same school be very different in their actions, whether we are talking any countries in the west, or any country in the “muslim” world. The point is that the basic responsibility rests with the family, and in foreign cultures it is more imperative for the parents to take a more active role in the development of their children.
well these ppl act a certain way infront of their parents etc and different when let loose!!
i think its the parents who suppress their kids to such an extent that the kids just want to like break free from it all, everybody want to try the forbidden fruit!!
and when they get an oppurtunity they take it
but these ppl are just living a lie then , but i would'nt condemn the actual individual i would put most of the blame on the parents.
there are 2 ends to a spectrum, at one end there those that have alot of freedom to do what they want for some it becomes point of nbo return for others they respect this freedom, and honesty that there parents have given them and will not abuse it
the end of the spectrum consists of those individual;s who have been suppressed all their lives, and any given oppurtunity they will take with open arms,
and intermediate would be in the middle where the individual is not supprssed so much that they want to break free but then again they have not been given open freedom to do what they wnat and it has all gone to their heads
u r talkin about countries, "Why is it then, that a number of people who grow up in supposed "Islamic" countries, Upon moving to west exhibit behaviours that are a taboo in their own country. "
i see this sort of stuff happening all the time, perfectly religious household, individual leaves home to go to college for example and what u have said is exhibted by them.
off with the scarf/shalwar kameez if its a girl. in with stud etc if its a guy!!1
Hmm.. interesting topic. but very hard to answer. I don't think the blame lies on either of the two, but instead on both of them together.
For example, as ferhana mentioned, if one is suppressed most of their lives they will surely open their wide arms to whatever is 'forbidden' once they have that chance. But one who grows up in a certain society where islamic influence is rare, and random, they will surely grow accustomed to the ways and practices of the majority.
Indeed, parents play the most difficult role. They not only have to surround us with a strong Islamic background, and environment as much as possible down here in the West, but they have to watch out for themselves too! Many of these Western muslims that have gone astray have parents that have also 'tasted the forbidden fruit' earlier on in their lives. Thus, these kids are influenced first by their parents, and then through their own experience within that society.
Like I said, its a hard question to answer, and perhaps never can be. But, I guess, the responsibility of raising children in the best way lies ULTIMATELY and PRIMARILY on the parents, and THEN on the society.
There are two shifts to this difficult job, but parents do have their kids first. and so I think parents should do a better job in raising a child that is independent; so that when they should ever be on their own in a strange society, they can resist whatever they want to, and be their own person.
Alhamdullilah, I'm not complaining though, my parents are the best!! ;) I'm sure you say the same.
Which of the favours of your Lord do ye deny??
Surat Al-Rahman