Who arranges what?

sali786 · June 1, 2009, 11:11pm

Hey ladies-

So i have a question. Some people have differences on who arranges what. for example-

me and my to be fiance were talking about wedding- and i explained to him how weddind rasms work and etc. My family follows it like, the guys side is suppose to provide for the wedding dress- and he said no they only provide the valima dress- (he’s from lahore- and im from karachi) so im not sure which is mainly followed- what do you guys think? How is it suppose to be?

Sara516 · June 1, 2009, 11:13pm

Re: Who arranges what?

OMG if u get to get the wedding dress JUMP on that chance..dont let nayone else buy it for u

jokes aside, karachi walay the guys family buys the weddign dress…while lahori, the girl buys her barat dress and the guy gets the valima outfit. I guess u two will have to reach a compromise. But seriously..try to choose both

sumorani · June 1, 2009, 11:16pm

Re: Who arranges what?

yeh what i know is that in khi, the guys side buys the wedding and valima dress for the girl while the girls side buys the outfits for the groom for both days.

in lhr/isb, the girls side gets the outfits for both the bride and groom on the wedding day and the grooms side gets the outfits for both bride and groom on the valima day.

sali786 · June 1, 2009, 11:23pm

Re: Who arranges what?

Hmmm darn- LOL yeh so were gonna have to compromise somehow- LOL--

I want his family to pay for my baraat dress and valime ;) hehe

i hope his family is aware of this- how do most people work things out?? im confused- how will it make us sound if we say well u have to pay for both of my dresses- LOL

and i didnt know my side has to pay for BOTH days outfits for the guy?? Hmm when did this rule come upon??:)

H09170 · June 1, 2009, 11:50pm

it think its walima dress by the grooms side and barat from the girl's. isnt it unfair to the groomside if they're paying for both the dresses expecially when its not even the general trend in their khandaan?

Sara516 · June 2, 2009, 1:14am

Yeah watch em get u somethin horribly cheap and fugly

sali786 · June 2, 2009, 1:52am

Yeh but some families that are from karachi [like mine] believe that the groom is suppose to pay for barat dress and valima.

At the same time Some families that are from Lahore [like his] believe that the bride pays for her own dress for baraat and gets the groom baraat outfit- (idk abt valima)

AND SARA516-- Don't think that EVIL!! lol Allah Na karey-- man i dnt want to be the next one posting on this forum abt how my khala got a puke green shaadi lehenga made for me and a beautiful one for her Daughter LOL
But masha'ALLAH my to be- inlaws are wonderful- I would trust them with my eyes closed.. well mayb one eye. ;)

Sara516 · June 2, 2009, 2:12am

Best way is to talk it out sweety :)
Naa hi aisay howay, whatever happens..good luck :D

sumorani · June 2, 2009, 2:48am

Im from khi and my husbands from isb and we decided to do it his way. It just made more sense to me since the baraat is the day the girls side pays, they should just pay for everything and the valima is when the guys side pays for everything.

prototype · June 2, 2009, 2:59am

Re: Who arranges what?

^ditto..simple is that on wedding day/baraat,dono apnay apnay ghar se apnay apnay kapray pehn kar ayen aur walima pe ek doorsay kay ghar se milay huay kapray :D

Pseudonymous · June 2, 2009, 3:34am

Re: Who arranges what?

from what i've heard and seen it happens two different ways.

1)the grooms side gives the girl lehengas on both the baraat and valima while the girls side gives the groom his outfits for both days

2)the grooms side only gives the girl the lehenga on the baraat, and the girls side only gives the guy an outfit for the baraat.

either way, both sides need to pay for TWO outfits, whether they're the girls or grooms. if i were you, i'd go with option 2. this way, i'll get to pick out ONE of my outfits atleast

k0mal · June 4, 2009, 8:16pm

Re: Who arranges what?

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/wedding/310463-important-please-read-avoid-infractions-getting-banned.html

desibride09 · June 5, 2009, 3:35pm

my inlaws do things diffrently to us in this sense.

their tradition is to buy wedding and walima outfitfor the bride,
but for us its that the bride wears her own on wedding and then in-laws buy the outfit on walima...we discussed it in advance because i wanted wedding jorah to be from my side.

in relation to the groom, hes getting the wedding shevani and we pay for walima suit/ shirt shoes etc. :)

eastern11 · June 5, 2009, 4:08pm

Re: Who arranges what?

I am from karachi as my in laws and the guy's side buys for both but since my MIl wanted me to wear the nikah outfit again for the wedding, I went and bought my own wedding outfit.

beenii03 · June 6, 2009, 3:56am

sali786-i dont think it should be a problem if your side wants to follow the tradition of the guy's side buying the lehnga for both days. but keep an open mind i mean it IS possible that you might be buying your own outfit for the baraat which isnt a big deal IMO.

oh and even if the guy buys the outfits YOU are going to choose what you will wear. i doubt theyre going to force you to get dressed up in some horrendous outfit.

bubblegum · June 6, 2009, 12:51pm

Re: Who arranges what?

Like most of you have said. Some people from:

Karachi- believe the groom's side will provide both bharaat and walima outfit.
And...
Lahore- the bride's side provide the bharaat outfit and groom's side provides the walima out.
In some other areas, I've heard the groom's side provides bharaat outfit and the bride's side the walima outfit (but im not exactly sure which ones :S)

But you can always compromise, there is no set rule really, i think its just a tradition.