^ Perhaps because we are less status conscious concerning our friends and we have less cultural baggage? I agree with your point about diversity- one of the greatest experiences in university in particular is the opportunity to socialize with people from a wider variety of backgrounds than one would normally interact with.
I am curious about why this thread was even opened? Why does it matter who people want to be friends with, why be offended if a desi guy marries a gori, or vice versa? PCG, I am really surprised that you of all people would refer to any woman as a 'chick'.
I am curious about why this thread was even opened? Why does it matter who people want to be friends with, why be offended if a desi guy marries a gori, or vice versa? PCG, I am really surprised that you of all people would refer to any woman as a 'chick'.
ure right, im not saying all of them girls born here are like that... but then again, they're the ones complaining about desi guys not befriending them like they befriend goris... i think those guys are quite happy with befriending ppl who atleast respect them.
amana, why would i be offended if a gori chick marries a desi guy? I actually haven't said anywhere that I found it offensive, and if you believe I did, please show me the sentence that makes you think so.
Secondly, the term "chic", as I see it, is not really a bad word. I use sland like that all the time, and its not meant in any offensive way. If you take it to be so, then I'm sorry you do.
Lets see now, some of our desi girls, who are born and raised here, and to them, it seems cool to mock those that came here afterwards and call them fobs or freshies, and then whine about how they dont end up being friends with these guys. If this is not insecurity, what is?
For white chicks, these guys are people who are from other countries most of them coming here for college etc, bring great diversity et al to their country and would make good friends, and HENCE they deserve their friendship, quite simple.
See, I don't know why you'd think I'm whining. Typical self-centerism that desi guys have. Not every desi girl is dying to be your friend.
Friendship is a two way street. If you expect someone to be normal with you, you probably need to be normal with them. I agree with Amana, that we desis have a lot of cultural baggage. I probably do have a lot of cultural baggage as well, as probably the guy that I'm speaking to. But if one of us is not willing to make the effort, but the other is, there wont be a friendship.
Now, if I was not even making an effort to be nice, I could say "hey, PCG, you're being a total prude". But the fact is that I talk to everyone. And its pretty much always the desis who keep their distance. Maybe its this campus or something, but the desi pakistanis here are not united at all. I guess its general distrust accumulated over years of bad experiences.
And another key piece of the puzzle is the muslim / desi organization here. Its very divided and you have different camps, and if there isn't a moment that goes by where people aren't getting on each others' cases, I swear. That probably factors into it too. Most of us are at a point where we see another Pakistani or Arab and we're like "Blegh, not again".
When did I say every desi girl was dying to befriend desi guys? On the contrary, thats what YOU posted here in this whole thread, you said they dont befriend desi girls and then you call them fobs, and say they have issues, and then say you dont want to help them.
Well, I just gave you a hint why they avoid talking to ya, thats all.... Maybe youre perfect, and maybe they arent, and they need someone imperfect (goris without cultural baggages and all) to befriend, so thats the end of story I guess, atleast for me. To each his/her own. just my 0.02 not pointing any fingers here.
Well that's silly now, Spock. I'm perfectly good friends with you and a multitude of other desi guys.
The facts are there. There are lots of guys who will befriend non-desi girls, but not desi girls. But that's not the same thing as saying lots of girls are running after them. And no, I don't want to help them get over their hypocrisy and shyness. As you said it yourself, guys will sometimes talk to non-desi girls because they're more relaxed, but they have a fear of talking to desi girls because they are afraid of being thought of as flirts. And that's not something that I can change. Only a person can change that about themselves.
Now, I don't have that same hypocrisy. I'll talk to anyone. But if I find they're too awkward, I wont push things. Now would you have me do any different? Should I instead be pursuing those guys? And if so, why would I do that?
I know you are, and I am not talking about 'you', if thats what you think yar, I am talking in general about some desi girls, and I must admit I actually came across some, which is why I am pointing this out. And yes, I am all for being friends, we shouldnt let anything (culture, color, race) get in our way.