Which way to go?

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Recently my khala suffered from fever. Doctors asusual kept on guessing and she was given treatment for 3 different diseases by 3 different doctors :bummer:

Finally she had to be admitted in hospital and after one week of treatment doctors allowed her to go home on the condition she would take complete bed rest and avoid any tension.

Now when she reached home people started visiting her. One after one, people came for her ayaadat and by the end of the day she was so tired that she fainted :frowning:

My question is when will we learn proper way for visiting patients?

There is also an argument that if you don’t go to visit the relative / friend during his/her illness, you have to hear complaints like 'why didn’t you come to see me when I was ill, I’m :naraz:

Banda jae to kahan jae?

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Re: Which way to go?

hmmm...maybe thats a bad or positive thing from our culture. It depends how you see it.

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Re: Which way to go?

Lolz I think u should visit after some days n shoud not sit there for longer hours ,
usually in my family ppl come n without evn sittin wth patient just standing there 2 mins ask hem n thn move to other room

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Re: Which way to go?

You don’t know Desi women? They count such occasions as an opportunity to cry out their dukhRas :hoonh:

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Re: Which way to go?

Yes very true....

some people avoid meeting peoples during their ailment

I know one person he was suffering from cancer and it was terminal so he avoided meeting people till his last day...

We should develop some meeting hour for patients just like hospital arrangements....

OK BTW how many persons are allowed in hospital room with the patient in pakistan?

here some allow only one while others allow 2 but as atleast 2 persons are always needed to serve the patient...

and hospital lobbies are full with extra persons cam e with the patient....i know in our part at least 10 people come with patient during serious ailment or in case of an operation...:D

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Re: Which way to go?

So far I have always tried to keep my visits short and sweet and if elders ever say I did not attend them long enough I say it is becuase I saw them on the first day and I went and prayed for thier health and had no worries and knew they would be fine deep down. Its worked so far.

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Re: Which way to go?

Ninja in Pakistan its one or two. My Khaloo was allowed to be with Khala in hospital and one of my cousin was with them during their stay in hospital, but he used to be outside hospital (in nearby park or parking) most of the time.

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Re: Which way to go?

Have you seen that family of one patient mingles with family of other patient....there develops a special kind of bonding

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Allah forbade this happens during deaths as well, the people are already grieved and then people will come along to their house for days. the person is already devastated but now because of those people he can not even rest, and hence it becomes more of a nuisance .

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Re: Which way to go?

What I find most awkward is that people who never dare speak to you when you are well all come crowding round you when you have are struck down with illness, sometimes you just want to throw those sort of people out becuase they might be your fammily but they are jumping in to see if your changed or not.
The best thing to do is just go cold face and silent then when your well pay them a visit and make it a long one in payback.

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Re: Which way to go?

Yes, I've seen that many times. In hospitals, in trains, buses, peopel pass a littel time with each other and it seems that they know each other years. They exchange contacts, wish to meet again... but in this busy world where people don't care much about their sagga rishtas, such things are becoming outdated :(

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Re: Which way to go?

i'm sorry to hear about your Khala's 'alaalat. how is she now?

we should restrict visiting hours ... patient ko dusre room meN rakkheN...mehmaanoN ko living room meN aur sirf ek ghanTaa rakkheN patient se milne ke liye...'ayaadat ke liye jo aayeN vo ahl-e-Khaana se mil kar apnaa fareeza adaa kar deN.

hamaare mo'aashare meN be-hisii bahot hai aur laa-ilmii bhii.

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Re: Which way to go?

Thanks KKF. She is recovering. Just talked to her on phone. She sent one of her twins to us, because these girls love to fight each other.

I like your suggestion, but its not possible to restrict the guests, specially in joint families. People get minor things personally.

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Re: Which way to go?

Exactly. In illness condition, people don’t like to interact and we demand the patient to entertain us :bummer:

I think there is also a hadees which talks about how one should visit the unfamiliar patient.

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Re: Which way to go?

There should be a time for Ayadat.Here ppl dont start coming for Ayadat subah se.Its usually from Asr till before Isha.And then ppl should not be allowed to sit in the patients room for very long.After sometime take the visitors out to the living room and serve them chai pani and do whtever gupshup they want to/

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^ Sounds like a good system.

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Re: Which way to go?

I agree with LP

May Allah give your Khalaa, shifaa-e-Aajila

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Re: Which way to go?

This is really Sad

May Allah Blesses ur Khala With Great Health As soon as Possible

Ameen