Which type of woman would you be ?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

That said, I would not elaborate too much and go as far as to cite the reasons in red.

Speak no evil.

22

Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

haha , the only reason for THIS post was to silently declare the presence of a mod watching :slight_smile:

23

Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Oh...I didn't mean to say that you would elaborate it to him the red part. My mistake, didn't mention it clearly. This was suppose to be only thought about.

@ Sheheryarkhan brother, thanks for taking the post positively and defending it. It is up to us if we want to extract anything positive or negative out of anyone's views, unless one clearly states one's own intentions behind ones words.

I do respect the POV of those who disagree with me, because my thinking might be totally flawed. We all learn and correct ourselves with time. Anyways, thanks for bringing in different perspectives and healthy criticism.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Although the two scenarios you gave are not comparable, imo. I do think you're onto something here, and women should make their husbands aware that what they are doing is unacceptable, otherwise it could lead to serious consequences.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

As the mother of a "BOY"....of course I would advise the "BOY" to avoid the sweets as much as possible b/c of his health issue. After all, children (ie. BOYS) are not always capable of making mature/rational decisions.

But once my BOY become a grown adult man....is living on his own etc.....then no, I would not constantly advise him on his own serious health issue. Why? Because as a mother, if I did my job right when he was a BOY.....then as a man....he'll have enough sense to realize the consequences of his actions and not give into temptations that could lead to serious health issues and possibly death.

When I get sick...I don't need someone else to tell me how to get better or when to take my meds. Children/boys/girls need parental guidance when it comes to their health issue. An educated, grown adult who does not have any mental issues is more than capable of managing their own diabetes.

In this specific situation.....if the husband is not attracted to his wife....then the odds of him cheating are higher. In this specific scenario....the wife can encourage/discourage him as much as she wants. But if the marriage is already in trouble (ie. he's not attracted to her anymore)....then odds are her "encouragements" are going to fall on deaf ears.

1) There are men who are unhappy in their marriage overall and look at other women.

2) There are men who are happy in their marriage but are not physically attracted to their wives. They look at other women.

3) There are men who love their wives and are physically attracted to their wives and have an amazing sex life (with the wife). They're not outside "lustfully gazing" at every other females. However, occassionally when they do see a woman in-real-life or on TV...they take notice of the beauty.

If my husband was in #1 or #2 category....then I'd be worried. #3....not so much. Again....just my personal thoughts regarding my own relationship.

At the end of the day....we as adults realize the consequences of our actions. I can't even begin to say how many clients I meet who drive me insane. I literally want to leap across the desk and beat the crap out of them. But I don't. Why? B/C I prefer not to end up in jail. I don't need anyone else to encourage me to NOT act on my impulses. Similarly.....my husband knows that if I caught him cheating....our marriage is over. If that knowledge isn't enough for him to control his impulses....then he really isn't the "right man" for me anyway. I expect my partner to be...well....my partner. My equal. Someone who has the same amount of self-control and self-respect as I do.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

How about now. Much better :D

btw, you can replace 'Diabetic' with 'lung cancer', and instead of sweets use, smoking. (Allah Forbid)

If (Allah forbid) you were a **wife **of a **man **who is diabetic, but he tells you that he only loves watching chocolates and cakes of different types, except the sugar free cakes that you prepare at home (the taste of which he has become used to of). *He has very little self control as evident from his hungry eyes when he sees those cakes, that he has not tasted yet. Which option would you select:

  1. Tell him that he can roam around the grocery stores and shops to look at the most delicious looking creamy cakes and chocolates but can't touch or bite one.

  2. Tell him that he may go to markets but should try to avoid looking at those cakes and chocolates because you fear that one day his temptations might overcome his self control and he would secretly buy one (which he had been longing for a long time) to taste how delicious it is, specially if he gets an offer by anyone. (when you are away)
    *

27

Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

haha RAW! :slight_smile:

:khumar:

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

^ Well I added, TB/ chances of lung cancer (Allah forbid),...etc. with smoking, so that it might not look childish. There are husbands who smoke despite of being warned by the best doctors that their health has reached a critical stage, prone to serious damage.

The damage that is done to the soul through the eyes (watching immoral stuff) is worst but we need to have faith in our LORD and the Prophet (saw), because we can't ask them for a spiritual X-Ray, as that would be only shown to us in the grave. BUT then it would be too late and the loss irrecoverable, forever.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Having said that, we all are humans and make mistakes. It is only the attitude towards the sin that matters.

You would never accept a RAW 'JEWEL' unless all the impurities are removed from it through the fire of furnace.

Then why would we expect that our RAW 'SOUL' (full of impurities) would enter a place where even microscopic impurities are forbidden (Heaven) unless cleaning of souls take place in the fire of hell. The more the intensity of the sin, the more the intensity and the duration of the fire required to clean it.

Well, if we clean our own souls through sincere tears of repentance and good deeds, then it would make the job of angels easy. In any case, the Rahmah of Allah (swt) is greater than everything and can forgive anyone anytime, but of course we can't misuse this leniency of the MIGHTIEST of ALL.

30

Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

I would make him understand why this or any obessesion at all are not healthy. So i would help him overcome this by being there for him, explaining him and supporting him in my full capacity to get over it :k:. If need be get his treatment done by a doctor.

Oh this should be interesting.

Hmm so for the 2nd question;

Well i would tell him, reason with him how it is not only strongly disallowed in Islam but also how as a women i detest it so i would hate for anybody close to me be part of this act :nono:. It’s not about feeling possesive or jealous, it is just wrong on so many other level too :bummer:.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

It seems a pattern you’ve developed that when a woman posts her response in a manner you’re not willing to rebut, you say “admit defeat”. Given the fact that most threads are here for discussion purposes (which means exchange of ideas and a back and forth) and not so that there is a “victor” or “loser” - it seems that’s an idea that escapes you :chai:

32

Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

So a man ogling at another woman is his wife's responsibility. Right. Heard it all now! You know who says that? Guys who come up with ''aadmi hai, koi baat galti ho jati hai, janay doh!''

While you might think men are brainless, with uncontrollable urges that they can't help but stare at woman and that they somehow have to be helped by their wives when infact they should be clever enough to not ogle in the first place; please don't make us other men out to be the same desperate creatures.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

your confusion is valid

its my mistake i admit it but i would rather not clarify myself at this point in time lol

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Shak Bhai, generalize to nahin kia mein ne. That is why I used "If" in the beginning of the question.

I was talking about men like me who might need reminders from their wives. Men like you MashaAllah have self respect and know their limitations.

Bhai, muaf kardo if you felt offended.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Sorry, i do realise I came off a bit strong than I meant to :/

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Its ok brother. Happens to me all the time...Your point is valid. I should have been careful in conveying my point in the right manner.

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Re: Which type of woman would you be ?

Nahi bhai shak09 you took it completely in the wrong direction

first you have to remind yourself the underlying philosophy of the bond/relationship between husband and wife

when a person is just a child his or her parents take care of him tell/teach him what not to do how not to behave. when you leave your parents nest build your own who is to say you are perfect/ideal/etc character. few men are mentally strong and awareness while others are not. no when you are in a bond where you share everything with your wife there is a sense of tie that compels a wife to for the husband/family if she see something leading to derail. same goes to the husband for a wife. when husband and wife are creating a structure a family they are the two strong pillars. and thus both of their actions and reactions are literally coupled.

men are not brainless, but some men are indeed weak in different areas as well as in their imaan and their responsibility towards the family. this is where the explanation of the controllable urges come in. if they cant help themselves to lower their gaze, their better halves must help them and not at all encourage them. it is just like if a husband gets disabled a wife takes up the charge helps supports in building the family. this is no different. so if you look from a clear perspective you will see the point that OP is making here.

i hope i am clear with all honesty