Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
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The most blessed marriage is the one in which expenses are few, and which is simple.
Instead of wasting the money on unnecessary expenses, it is better to give the same money to one’s daughter, to one’s son-in-law, to be used to purchase carpets for a musjid, or to pay for the expenses of a student. In short, consult your shaykh and spend it in some correct avenue. The walîmah meal which is Sunnah is to be from the boy’s side – to whose house the bride is going.
But today, the opposite is taking place. The girl’s side is spending thousands to feed and entertain the thousands of people who come from the boy’s side. If a person has five daughters, he estimates his cost at 600 000 rupees. Consequently, he steals, robs, and accepts bribes.
Moreover, it is not necessary for the boy’s side to have such a large walîmah for which a tent has to be pitched, 10 000 people are invited, and hundreds of thousands of rupees are spent to feed the guests. A walîmah can be fulfilled by just five people as well. If any family is not invited, it has no right to complain.

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

I've been hearing views on a simple versus extravagant wedding.

I don't understand how can we make a wedding simple in a scenario like:
- We have an immediate family/important people of some 100 members straight! They are important people, should we not invite them?
- In laws of course would be minimum 75
- Do you not get a place to accommodate them all?
- To make it simple, should we not serve food?

How can an event be made simple ?

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

^ yes we have to serve food but it is not necessary that we add lots of dishes, a standard menu would be ok too ...

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

We already have one-dish policy implemented in Pakistan. Now how?

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I usually don't see one dish parties, what I observe is so many variety of dishes and people are eating less wasting more ...

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agree ^ .. they waste so much of food

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If that was true, simpler weddings would have marriages with a lower divorce rate, and that's not the case. I know of people who had very simple weddings and are miserably unhappy and people who had huge lavish celebrations and are very happy together, and also vice versa. At the end of the day it's up to personal choice. If you want to have a small wedding, go ahead and have one and stop thopo-fying your judgement on others.

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

Agree.. and at the end of the day it's all subjective.. Am pretty sure it's not haram to spend a lot if you can afford it and there's nothing to stop you making a donation or feeding the poor as well.. Why judge others.. Should we go after ppl with large houses and nice cars as well?

It's sunnah to have a simple wedding but each to their own..

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***“Whosoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” (Bukhari)

"And give the relative his right and the needy and the traveler and do not waste wealth needlessly. (26) Verily, those who waste wealth are the brothers of the devils and the devil is in rebellion against his Lord." Noble Quran 17:26-27]

I guess it's preferable to keep it simple, not haraam, but probably makroo to have it lavishly...I wish I could've had my wedding more simple, yet I'm conflicted with my nafs to have things lavish and beautiful at the same time. It's so hard these days... family pressures and all and then getting over ones nafs - the need to constantly think for 'me me me' should be quashed and we should all be thinking of only 'Allah Allah Alllah' ...I hope we all achieve this, and realise wealth is not of our own, it's from Allah and he will account for every penny we spend of it...

Ya Allah please give us all hidayat and help us start our first steps into marriage in the way you love and prefer. Ameen***

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I completely agree with this. Some people might find this hard to believe BUT there are people out there who're blessed with enough money where they can afford to spend $ on a lavish wedding...and still have enough "leftover" for donations, savings etc. If that's the case...then why shouldn't they spend their own hard earned money on a day that matters to them? It's no diff. then people buying Mercedes, Ferrari's etc. instead of Kia's......If people don't want to be "judged" for having a simple wedding...then in return, they shouldn't "judge" those who have lavish ones.

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

@Muzna

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

sfm123 it's also sunnah to eat on the floor but how many of the ppl criticising these weddings do that as well? Those in glass houses and all..

What a person who is living off gov handouts might consider lavish is no big deal to a person in a full-time job and likewise what they might consider lavish might be no big deal to someone more successful.. As long as they can afford it (ie. not getting into debt and borrowing left right + centre), pay their zakat and do their bit for charity I can't see how it's anyone else's business..

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Re: Which is the Most Blessed Marriage?

That's the problem that everyone spends according to what's in their range.Yes they may take loans etc but that is of their standad.For someone spending 25,000 on a wedding dress may be expensive for someone 500,000 may be reasonable.
(Trust there r such ppl).
Last year there was a huge wedding in khi ,they had all their foreign guests stay in the Sheraton , a week of extravagant ,opulent wedding festivities and the guests could go to a host of designers and choose their attire. There were several mehndi functions and dholkis which sukhbir,atif etc were called for. The wedding was in Mohatta Palace.The goras & intl guests were actually shocked to see such amounts of money being spent on a wedding in Pakistan , and everyday they would get a gift from the wedding party so much so that they were annoyed because they were like we cant carry back so much stuff.

so yeah it is all relative. Some people say it's the o*ne day of my life where I get to do what I want and,* live up my dreams etc and want it to look like a dream .Others see it as that, **one day in the rest of their lives **so would rather be pragmatic about it.

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I personally always dreamed of a LAVISH extravagant wedding. However, being on Gupistan and stalking the wedding forum I have put my hopes up so high. I have yet to see a simple wedding these days. I sumed up my thoughts and have made many changes to what I want now.
I rather not be in debt or take out a Loan. I rather do 1 big Reception (husband and wife both sides) and then go on a great honeymoon. It sucks to invite so many people who come to eat, and talk smack about the flaws or watever in a wedding. Or invite the people because your afraid they will say "HAI" so and so didnt invite me to their wedding what did we do wrong to them etc etc. and they probably speak to you once in a blue moon.
Id now rather do a simple Nikkah at masjid/home do 1 intimate reception with close family/friends and just enjoy my honeymoon lavishly with my husband. If I limit my expectations I know my wedding will be fantastic. Its always great to dream big, but if your still paying for your dream debts several years after the wedding, then it kinda sucks.
Keep it simple and Full of love and positive energy, Get blessings from your loved ones and Enjoy your new chapter with your husband.

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Last week, my MIl was invited to a wedding. There were 20 sweet dishes alone at that wedding. So yeah.....

Anyway, neither simple nor glamorous weddings make a marriage successful but the two people in that marriage.

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Median path is the BEST path to take...neither be too extravagant nor too miser! paaoN utne hii phailaao jitnii baRii chaadar ho!!! stay within your means!!!

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The topic name questions- 'which is the most blessed marriage?'...isn't following the Rasul's example not the most blessed way? Whom are you hoping to receive blessings from ? Is Allah subhanawatala insufficient? The answer is obvious....it's not wrong to spend the money you have earned, but the most blessings you can recieve is from All mighty Allah. The Queen of jannat the most blessed woman amongst us all our role model, look to how she got married! We should all strive to live by her example! This life is fleeting, people cry aboiut it being one day in your life? That one day may be the sacrifice you need to make it into jannat, into the most beautiful of places in the hereafter forever...All that you give up for Allah he loves, all good that you do in his name you are rewarded...one day on your life? its just another opportunity to please Allah!