For most of us our lives and its trivialities are far more important than going hungry for a few hours. Work, school, family and the likes of it. I've tried to look at the bigger picture, telling the Almighty each year "hey, i've got my reasons but they are worldly, will you forgive me if I don't keep an obligatory fast?" With that in mind, Alhamdullilah I've been on track keeping all of my fasts and prayers regularly. It makes it a lot easier with the community we have in Toronto where restaurants (yes! even non muslim) recognize us observing fasts and offer food once time comes around.
Some may argue that Aytaykaaf (solitude for the last 10 days of ramadan) is suppose to have absolutely no contact from the outer world. I can't afford to do that, instead I've kept them 3-4 Ramadan's while going to school/work and coming back to the mosque. Its fun, we barely sleep, yet we're not tired. We barely eat, yet we're not hungry. There is so much barakah, so much food, so much peace, it breaks you down to realize how miniscule and heck of a lot important your role is in this world. How many sins, how many deeds, how much have you done, is it enough, is it forgiven, What lies beyond....
I don't mean to knock Taraweeh's but there is too much haste, everyone is rushing out the door to go back home. Even the imam's recitation is too fast to the point where you can't understand what he's saying!
During Sahoor or Aftar time, its a few of us guys who serve food to the bachelors coming in from work and the rest of the people who are in Aytaykaaf. Everyone fills their plates, no one sees to it that the women section is properly nourished. No one bothers to help the elderly man who can't get up to feed himself. So self consumed... I wonder if anyone thinks before eating how people around the world must be famished while we're enjoying the luxuries. Blessings rather! We truely lose sight and take it all for granted. It truely is a jungle... this world.
The best part begins and absolutely adore is the time we spend in Qayam-ul-Lail from 1:30 AM onwards to Fajr reciting the Glorious Quran in unity shoulder to shoulder. Every rakah is a blessing, heh cuz everyones knees crack during prostration because standing for over 30 minutes does lock 'em up. Mind you at this time comes in Shaikh Saeed who is a sheppard among his people. People literally flock to him for his devotion, advice and beautiful clear voice. He isn't backward either! condemning the "devil's box" as other imam's refer to the t.v. By culture, an egyptian but by heart and mind he relates to everyone regardless of your background. I love the fact that he doesn't emphasize culture or mix the sects. Those who have challenged him he has sternly yet skillfully put to rest. A great scholar and a dying breed amongst the preachers of hypocritcal sins. His teachings of culture within Islam is enough rather than refering to pakistani, afghan, syrian or any other roots. Thats why you'll see me knocking culture most don't appreciate, rather they don't have a clue of where I come from.
Aah, yes ramadan! I've tried to keep the level of piety static through out, alas it is always fluctuating even in Ramadan.
For the few moments that we stand in prayer beside one another. We are all one regardless of colour, wealth and health Once prayer is over, it desiminates, the segregation begins along with critical analysis of sorts where everyone goes back to their own little corner according to what they're nationality is; my objective, however ridiculous or small it may seem is to mix with everyone. Desis or not. Creating a melting pot culture where we all can relate on some common ground other than religion rather than just identifying ourselves as desis (now you know why I knock culture so much).
Its a hard struggle and a trecherous battle to come. We're so weak within categorizing, segregating, marginalizing, objectifying that we lose sight of the bigger picture. They're winning and we're walking over each other. Whats it going to take before its too late? Whats its going to take before someone hears these voices? When will everyone so self consumed in their life start to realize that someone that is not related to them but shares a common bond of humanity and faith needs help and maybe it can be reciprocated. Wake up, I say to myself every ramadan, wake up and stop sinking into this pit of filth. These constant thoughts jumbled run through my head. Business plans for the benefit of our community, our elders our livelihood rush through mile a minute. Contemplation of the smallest action and reaction, even if it is a gesture or handshake is thought about. Its probably over analysis but there is no harm while in solitude.
All I can say is that these thoughts and actions are overwhelming. Maybe its a lost cause, a lost thought, a lost battle, a baseless struggle but its mine and I'm trying....hope He sees that in my intention even though the unforgiving and relentless world doesn't!
In a nutshell, thats what I do every Ramadan spreading it out through the year as much as I can.
At least you had a time in your life where you finished the Quran thrice during Ramadan. i can’t even say that about myself.
i understand perfectly. i would like to be one of those people who remembers God not just when i need something, if you know what i mean. i just want to be a better Muslim you know, and Ramadan is the best month to try this type of jihad. i just don’t want, 30 days from Ramadan, to be thinking - what the heck did i do with all that time? Where did the weeks go? i usually keep most of my fasts Masha’Allah, i have since i was young even. i’m not worried about that. Laykin it’s the deepening of the imaan i am worried about. And the praying… finishing the Quran (with understanding). Who of us knows where we will be next Ramadan (or even if we’ll be alive). i know what you mean about re-arranging timing and all that, it’s at the top of my mind as well.
its most important
@ Faisal
