Re: Where to start?
Apologies if this is a stupid question. I've just started to plan my wedding (which will inshallah be in March/April next year) and I am completely stuck. It seems like there are so many things I need to consider, everyone I've talked to has given me conflicting advice. I'd just like to know if anyone had any wedding planning tips, or a list of everything I need to think about? What do I prioritise? If you're married, when did you start looking for possible outfits, what type of research did you do? Did you take family/friends/in laws with you? Who planned what?
I have had one shopping trip to Bradford already, to look at some possible lengha's, but I'm wary that I need to be making a decision in the next few weeks so I can give enough time to get things ordered. Has anyone had any experience with Bombay Stores or Maharani's? I'm not a girly girl, hate the thought of being the centre of attention but am starting to panic I will end up something really garish and OTT!
Any advice appreciated! :)
First off ---> BREATHE!!!! Take it one day at a time and one THING at a time or else you are going to feel way too overwhelmed... trust me as I know because i am now planning my wedding which will occur in less than a years time. Eek. It is easy to freak out. But remaining calm and level headed is the best way to go about everything.
As someone mentioned - do not get TOO many people's opinions ... bc yes... they will conflict since no one thinks exactly the same. In my situation, I am letting the majority of my shaadli planning getting done by my mother. When she wants my opinion, I give it to her - otherwise she is in charge. She has great taste, I trust her, she knows the budget better than I do , and what mother doesn't want the best for her daughter acha? As for the Walima - BEST piece of advice I can give you is to let them do things their way.... the lest conflict ...the less drama... the better. It's their day.. let them relish in it... and you take a seat back and enjoy spending time with your luved ones.
Even if they do make you end up wearing something that you think is garish or OTT. If your fiance can not help you out in this matter.. just let it be. Focus on your baraat dress and make that exactly how you want to be.
And yes - do not make it too heavy or anything... no need to look like a walking gold shop. Us south asian brides tend to over kill it... but less is more. Let your real beauty shine that day and feel comfortable in your own skin. It will show in your pictures and you WILL look and FEEL like the bride. :)
So yea - basically I have let my mom become in charge of baraat reception- and she asks for my input all the time or opinion and I give it to her.
I have the same mentality with my in laws.. let them do thigns their way.. if they want my input... i will give it to them.
With Baraat- my mother and I first finalized a venue... aka ...finalized a DATE. We negotiated with the hotel to get us the most we could in what we were paying them for. This took a month ... its unbelievable how much ppl are ready to throw you under the bus or try to take advantage of you. Gotta be smart and go in there with smart questions, good negotiation skills, and a lot of knowledge about how things work in regards to booking weddings beforehand.
After venue was finalized - my mom and I did the math and figured out that Desi food was actually a cheaper option...so we did the research and found the place we want our food catered from.
My mom let me choose photography and cinematographer - after being on this site for a year now and being obsessed with watching video links.. i ended up choosing ABCI and am pleased with my decision.
I chose which friends I wanted to be my bridesmaids. I then chose the sari that they will be wearing.
My mom and I have figured out how we want the nikkah to be and how we want my enterance to be... along with the appropriate songs played. Also rukhsati song is decided.
I decided not to have a mehndi - to save on costs. I do not want to be a burden on my parents... and I rather have a nice elegant shaadi than a million random events that we are stressed about in regards to planning. Planning just one event is just fine with me.
Another thing we have also arranged is having the brunch for out of town guests the morning following hte shaadi - negotiated with the same hotel ppl.
Other than this, I am still figuring out what I will wear. My mom is going to Pakistan soon and she is going to bring back my jewlery and bring back mabey like 3 heavy outfits and like 5 formal outfits. No casual outfits since i never wear them here in the US. I do not want too many things as fashions change too fast.... and again. Do not want to be a burden on my parents.
I have specifically asked for NO Jahaiz.
And yea... other than that. Not much else :) lol. All of this was done long distance as my mother and i live in different states... but we still managed and I am sure inshAllah will continue to manage.
But I have noticed - the less you stress...easier things seem. We still have alot to figure out... stage, decor, favors, rasms, grooms cloths, my families clothing, etc. But just know in the back of your midn that everything will fall into place inshAllah.
