Where to find your future spouse?

Hi all,

One of dilemmas we face quiet a bit here in the US, is finding a muslim spouse. I know of many educated girls who would like to settle down but do not know where to go to meet the muslim boys. Their parents have tried their networking but most of the people they know are back “home”.

I would like to put together a barbeque or dinner or something where all the marriageable aged boys and girls come and hope that a few couples will click and find their spouse. I have heard way too much negativity about this kind of gathering but we got to help our children, our community. I want to hear from the youngsters and what they have to say about this kind of arrangement and if they have a better idea.

Thanks in advance for answering.

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

That is a good idea and a noble cause.

hmmm sounds interesting. But for some odd reason I dont think I would feel comfortable going to a gathering like that. I mean if it just happens without any objective that's different but if it's planned then I would feel weird. I mean knowing I'm going there to find a future husband.

and yea I agree it has become a huge issue in our desi community to find decent girls and boys that reside in the same country. But I don't think much can be done. I know many families that are going through this but don't even want to turn to online resources such as shadi.com and so. They want to stick to the old tradition of finding a decent pruposal through trusted family friends unless the boy or the girl finds someone to marry on their own.

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

Where do you live :faizy:

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

:salam:

:wsalam:

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

sabah, good idea, bu as someone noted the only catch is the deal with perceptions. ISNA does a great job with organized event to have ppl meet, but its become a joke for many people. I know girls who are/were looking but did not go to ISNA event..even though they were at ISNA because it would look strange, ppl would say stuff, ppl would think they are desperate, others there would be losers type of thoughts.

so as long as the event does not seem to be a singles meet it would work. I would suggest do it on weekend afternoons and say no kids. that roots out married with kids folks :D and the evens should be so ppl are able to talk if they hit it off. Depending on sie of the gathering, it can be group outings to museums, fairs, etc. mixers at home can be okay for small groups especially if a good number of the ppl know each other and the newcomers know one of the people type of thing.

Good thinking to focus on this, and more power to you.

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

dewdrops there is nothing wrong with meeting people of opposite gender whether your interaction is due to education, social events, or work. After all the prophet did meet his first wife at work.

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

heck why not have an orgy.. astagfirullah!! :emmy:

^ what is that?

:insh::jazak::subhan::alhamd:

well, learned people know that an orgy was a secret cult religious ceremny in ancient greece

^

but i believe brother quraysh meant group sex type thing. Thats in line with the type of thinking of the ..brothers..

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

is it your new multi TLK BAHI :ASA:

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

Actually I know of a couple in New York who did this. They started with having small gatherings with close friends and went onto bigger ones. Within a year, they had practically started a network :) They got so many people engaged and all. This was about 4-5 years ago.. I wonder what they are upto now.

Thank you so much for the great insights. I wish I could get in touch with the couple in New York and learn from their experiences.

Please keep on sharing your thoughts and suggestions.

This was an email i got through a forward and it was a gathering for people to meet and what not- i think its a good idea but then again alot of people go there for wrong reasons too- but over all by doing this it helps alot of people--

APPNA- Associations of Physicians of Pakistani Decent of North America

Dear APPNA Members and Friends:
Please make sure that you share this e-mail with your family and friends as this is an excellent opportunity for young singles to meet each other. The event is also open to non-APPNA professionals as long as they can provide a reference of an APPNA member.
The Young Professionals Network (YPN) event, a program under Social Forum, at the annual summer meeting of APPNA, in Washington DC, was very well attended. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive. As a result of this positive feedback another YPN event will be organized at the fall meeting=2 0of APPNA at the Hilton East Brunswick, New Jersey on October 11 and October 12.
YPN provides young single professionals, ages 22 t o 45, an opportunity to meet each other in an informal environment.
Through this interaction, professionals from across the country will get to socialize, network, make new friends and you never know, meet that someone 'special."
Some comments received from the DC event:
"YPN was a great idea and well managed."
"I was impressed to see that everyone behaved in a very professional manner, and I did not have any hesitation in talking to anyone I wanted to talk to. I would recommend this to all interested individuals."
"Thank you for a very interesting experience at the YPN event on Friday and Saturday..it was my first time so I didn't know what to expect..it was very organized ."
"This was the my first time attending a YPN event. I must admit, I was surprised by the turn out. There were definitely many educated people there from all walks of life, which is reassuring."
" Initially hesitant - I was more than pleased by the end of the event. It was my first time attending an event like this, but I'm glad I did, as I can't remember having the opport unity to meet so many singles at once! ... and all in a very congenial atmosphere. I tried to hit all the insecurities that guys may have."
"I must admit that I was really reluctant to attend. I had attended some similar events and was not impressed. My sister insisted and literally dragged me to DC. I was really pleased to see how organized everything was and how educated the girls at this event were. Good news: I am seriously talking to a girl I met there. Guys: Don't miss this opportunity, I am so glad I went and had the best time."
Click here to download the registration form
Please note on the registration form that the first program starts at 10:30 am on Saturday, October 11. If you plan to attend, it is important that you are able to attend this program where the "introductions" take place. You will be expected to attend the two follow-up programs as w ell.
We have also included a separate dinner on Saturday, October 11 for the 35+ years old group; please see the registration form.
You must pre-register, onsite registration will not be available.
Travel and hotel reservations should not be made until you have received a confirmation e-mail from me.
Once you have received confirmation you can call 1-800-HILTONS or 1-732-828-2000 to make your room reservation.
Sincerely,
Naheed Arshad
Young Professionals Network
National Coordinator
[email protected]

hey sabah
i know exactly what you mean it took a while for my aunt to find someone too
and actually i have heard about arrangemenets in new york like that .i think what you are thinking about is a good idea ... i wonder why its getting a negative response :(

what a cool idea.....finding a suitable boy is a major concern here in the US: hmmm I dont know abt the rest of ur states, but where I live a lot of the guys married back home....making it super hard for the girls here to find someone:)

I like this idea Shay--ppl get to know each other as friends, then the relationship develops:)

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

the idea is nice but one u can do for it be approved by the parents is u can have someone like a very religiously and worldly knowledgeable person in that small gathering just seeing that everything is going alright

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

Muslim speed dating.

haha just kidding.

Re: Where to find your future spouse?

so today's islam allows us to have mix gathering where young boys and young girls meet and find a suitable spouse......
thank alot for updating me!