This is for married couples but people that are in relationships/attached can respond as well.
When you were first attracted to your spouse, Im sure there were physical and non-physical things that you liked. Im sure the conversations were great and flowed well. Im sure you intrigued each other. Im sure you kept each other on your toes.
But then…life happens. Not everyday is an intellectual adventure…
Have you ever found yourself in a lull? What did you do to get out of it? How did you notice it? Did your partner bring it to your attention? “hey honey, we used to be like that…why arent we like that anymore?”
What do you do to keep your partner into you? Im not talking about physically here…Im talking mentally.
You do get that mental block with your partner, but the whole point when you love someone is you're comfortable with the silences. Sometimes you dont have to fill every minute of the day constantly waffling about something. It's just enough when you feel their presence.
I think at that point you just move along with you life ... take a little vacation ... make more time for each other and do things together that you both enjoy doing
after living together for almost 8 years, for me, him being with me in the same room or even same house is enough, i'm not a chatterbox and he loves talking so it works well like that.
I think it’s all about getting used to of each other and as you spend more time together you start to build up a trust and you become more tolerant towards each other. Also, if you and your spouse have similar interests and hobbies, that’d make it much more easy to live together in tranquillity but having said that men need to make extra effort to make a marriage work, he needs to involve his wife in things so she feels important.
Also, having children together helps a lot to a successful marriage but couples should have children together only so they can raise them together and never for the sake of making the marriage work.
In the last 10 years, our relationship had evolved to where we don't need each others constant attention or the need to talk all the time.
Having young kids is enough of an adventure that there is no "lull" but we do make time for each other - vacations, dinners, parties, concerts where it's just the two of us.
AH never had to work at keeping him into me. He's just is and I just am. (maybe because we are polar opposites)
What if she has a valid point and needs someone to talk to?
no seriously,
Talking isn't an issue but girls need to realize that change DO take place in life and it cant be static. couples can rejuvenate occasionally they may revisit their past but it cant be brought back. Priorities changes over time for good and so should expectations.
For example I can not sit for hours and praise her hands like I used to do in early days coz I have business to take care off for OUR FAMILY. Similarly, I dont expect her to do solha-singhar cook exotic food every days as she used to do before because she is a homemaker now from relation maker. Relation has already been built.
Its good that me and my begum have learn this quickly. We try to enjoy quality time together instead of quantity.
if men and women understand a lil bit of their psychology and needs, then they can rule each others heart. If one is striving to become a complete person, then the fulfillment of emotional/physical needs is absoluuuuutelyyyyyy necessary !
