Lately some of my SIL’s friends/extended family have been talking bad about her with me. In one case I told her to talk to her directly and in another case I didn’t say anything. Just pretended that I wasn’t interested in that conversation.
It was so awkward situation cuz I just felt like yelling at them telling them that they better show some loyality towards her if they see her as a friend but I didn’t cuz I thought it might just create a bigger drama.
Many of you already know that my relationship with my SIL has not been very close or good….and I certainly don’t want other ppl to start creating more issues that I already have dealt with.
I have stopped talking to those friends of her and just pretending that I am so busy that I cant come if they invite me and my husband or that I am not feeling well.
But I just feel so disgusted that ppl are so unloyal and would just start backbiting without any reason.
^^
I can understand. This is the real world, it is full of back-biters and back-stabbers and 'gossip' is a high priorty in social events these days, so best thing is to keep yourself to yourself as much as you can.
Good girl! i would also suggest you to tell your SIL about them because who knows that these same people might tell her you badmouth about her to them. You know wat i mean!?!...so just let her know what kind of people they are or atleast let your husband know about it.
these people are doing this to see what you'll say. The minute you say something bad...they'll go right back to her and tell her what you said. They are nothing more then a bunch of instigators. In fact, if i was you I would disagree with them and say good things about her even if you dont mean it. Make it look as if you two have a great relationship....the fun will be over for them once you do that.
This is so typical...people trying to instigate b/w in-laws.
Listen gheebat is like Geo, u will find it in every other household. I personally used to think only us desi's did it but how wrong i was. The angraiz r just that bad when they hav had a sip of tea and shortcake at break time.
these people are doing this to see what you'll say. The minute you say something bad...they'll go right back to her and tell her what you said. They are nothing more then a bunch of instigators. In fact, if i was you I would disagree with them and say good things about her even if you dont mean it. Make it look as if you two have a great relationship....the fun will be over for them once you do that.
This is so typical...people trying to instigate b/w in-laws.
When I am not happy with a person I find it very difficult to make a good remark to that person and my SIL hasnt really been a support in any way. actually quiet the opposite. So I find it very difficult when somebody is talking bad about her and I have to pretend that I disagree in some of the points being made. Actually somebody mentioned stuff that I had actually experienced with her but I just kept quiet. didnt want to be part of the backbiting. But I do think that these ppl can feel what I think about SIL.....
^ Okay is there anything nice at all that you can think of? Like she might have done u a favor or something, anything that will make ppl convinced that they should'nt talk crap abt her like that. and if not.. if lets say they bring up all the stuff she ever did wiht you, i guess you can always say.. "she's going through a hard time and was frustrated.".. okay i dont know
^ Okay is there anything nice at all that you can think of? Like she might have done u a favor or something, anything that will make ppl convinced that they should'nt talk crap abt her like that. and if not.. if lets say they bring up all the stuff she ever did wiht you, i guess you can always say.. "she's going through a hard time and was frustrated.".. okay i dont know
Thanks Sara.
well in one case I told the woman that she should talk to her directly since she was compaining about her rude bahviour.
The other woman has been complaining about things so once the 3 of us were together I told SIL that this 3rd person doesnt feel good about certain stuff that u did to her and facilitated them to talk opnely so this woman talked to her and SIL actually started crying that she never meant to hurt this woman etc.
Well I can find some plus points about her and focus on them...but its just difficult to wear a mask when ppl complain that she has been rude to them and I sit n think that hey u guys shouldnt even complain when considering the rudeness I have experienced..
anyhows I dont loose my sleep cuz of her anymore and have grown more mature with regard to this. I have set some clear limits towards SIL without being explicit at all and thanks God that she got the message!!!
Listen, whatever she does to you, you can vent to your family or friends or here (whoever you vent to).. but with relatives you really shouldn't try to make it worse by saying anything... when they talk, try keeping cool...don't think about the bad things she's done to you cz that will just make it so obvious that u feel teh same way they do...and u know if these ppl are NOT good people to deal with.
Just hang in there! Dont let them stir up any trouble for you
If you are unable to say some good things to counter them, then maybe the next time they start, just stop whatever you are doing and look at them straight in the eyes and say in a firm voice"Can you please stop backbiting about my SIL!" and then ignore them after this. Its good you have stopped hanging with them and accpeting their invites --Im sure you can find much better things to do with your time than spend it with people like this!
