Abey yaar wat the hell?
All the posts ive been reading here…i dont see any love or connection between husband and wife…everyone is complaining about their husbands…he tells her mom about our fights…he plays mind games…he does this he does that…Are all desi couples have such a loveless and rokhi sokhi life? No understanding at all? How can you sleep next to each other if you dont have the basic understanding b/w you? You live with each other everyday, but you can’t communicate with each other to resolve your issues but can ask total strangers on GS for help? isn’t that strange?
On the positive note, I’ve been reading sunset_eyes posts and im really inspired from her. They been married 3 years and yet they are in so much love with each other. Thats the life I want. Itni choti si zindagi main itni fazol ki kich pich why?
I used to post often about my hubby and people got kinda sick of hearing all about how wonderful he is lol! I guess the thing is that people who dont have issues also dont post much about how happy they are but when there is difficulty, they post for advice etc.
Anyway, I've been mentioning all over this site that I will celebrate 10 years of wedded bliss tomorrow. I love my hubby more each year, he is my prince, my knight in shining armor, my love and my best friend. I treasure each and every day with him and I honor and respect him with every ounce of my being.
Abey yaar wat the hell?
All the posts ive been reading here...i dont see any love or connection between husband and wife....everyone is complaining about their husbands...he tells her mom about our fights...he plays mind games...he does this he does that....Are all desi couples have such a loveless and rokhi sokhi life? No understanding at all? How can you sleep next to each other if you dont have the basic understanding b/w you? You live with each other everyday, but you can't communicate with each other to resolve your issues but can ask total strangers on GS for help? isn't that strange?
On the positive note, I've been reading sunset_eyes posts and im really inspired from her. They been married 3 years and yet they are in so much love with each other. Thats the life I want. Itni choti si zindagi main itni fazol ki kich pich why?
anyone who says their marital life is smooth is lyin... it dusnt matter if its love or arrange, marriage is not easy.. its a lifetime committment and when either one of them fail to fulfil the others needs or expectations, problems begin.... with arguments, fights and in extreme cases, abuse, both verbal and physical. nobody's marriage is as rosy as they paint and if it is, either it hasnt been too long since theyre married (5-10 yrs) or theyre just camouflaging their pain. there have many many times when i m hurt and angry and in frnt of others i act as if my husband and i are sooooooooo happy... when infact we are not. we have our share our arguments, our times of hating each other... but then when anger cools off u r back to normal (iguess)... i think u r not married.. if u were u would know y issues come up. i think the ONLY reason why there are prbs in any marriage in the first place is, communication gap. none of them wants to listen and understand... another thing is superiority... our men think they are always rite... when women are made to feel empowered and not some piece of usless junk who has no brains and only emotions (which i agree we hav but sometimes our point of views can b really helpful)... then men and women can b happy... its all about equality and last but not the least which i keep tellin my hubby too... RESPECT!! respect ap janab wali nahi.. respect of feelin, respect of opinion, respect of their rites and duties... even after all of this, there can still b prbs... as i said.. its a long term committment which u need to work at continously.. its never ending
thats kind of a sad testament mall. Marriage surely is work, its compromise and there are always obstacles, bad times, good times and arguments.
The thing about a successful marriage you are very right about. Marriage is a partnership of equals. Two people working toward common goals. If that is the foundation of the marriage then sure, there will be storms but they will be weathered nicely and sometimes even the worst of times can make the bonds stronger.
When I say that I've had a blissful decade with my hubby, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And we surely have had some tough times but those only served to strengthen our love for and commitment to each other.
thats kind of a sad testament mall. Marriage surely is work, its compromise and there are always obstacles, bad times, good times and arguments.
The thing about a successful marriage you are very right about. Marriage is a partnership of equals. Two people working toward common goals. If that is the foundation of the marriage then sure, there will be storms but they will be weathered nicely and sometimes even the worst of times can make the bonds stronger.
When I say that I've had a blissful decade with my hubby, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And we surely have had some tough times but those only served to strengthen our love for and commitment to each other.
I wish that for you people too.
very sad... but v true too.... but there still r lucky ppl like u alive so b grateful and pray for all of us yeah :)
thats kind of a sad testament mall. Marriage surely is work, its compromise and there are always obstacles, bad times, good times and arguments.
The thing about a successful marriage you are very right about. Marriage is a partnership of equals. Two people working toward common goals. If that is the foundation of the marriage then sure, there will be storms but they will be weathered nicely and sometimes even the worst of times can make the bonds stronger.
When I say that I've had a blissful decade with my hubby, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And we surely have had some tough times but those only served to strengthen our love for and commitment to each other.
I wish that for you people too.
btw if u read my post carefully u will see i ve said those who are in marriage for more than 5-6 yrs... mite b happy cus by that they undstand each other much better than newly weds
Yes, surely it takes time to develop the kind of deep love that takes years. I never for a second take for granted all that I have, I find myself in wonder at it all sometimes lol. And I SO wish this for others!
anyone who says their marital life is smooth is lyin... it dusnt matter if its love or arrange, marriage is not easy.. its a lifetime committment and when either one of them fail to fulfil the others needs or expectations, problems begin.... with arguments, fights and in extreme cases, abuse, both verbal and physical. nobody's marriage is as rosy as they paint and if it is, either it hasnt been too long since theyre married (5-10 yrs) or theyre just camouflaging their pain. there have many many times when i m hurt and angry and in frnt of others i act as if my husband and i are sooooooooo happy... when infact we are not. we have our share our arguments, our times of hating each other... but then when anger cools off u r back to normal (iguess)... i think u r not married.. if u were u would know y issues come up. i think the ONLY reason why there are prbs in any marriage in the first place is, communication gap. none of them wants to listen and understand... another thing is superiority... our men think they are always rite... when women are made to feel empowered and not some piece of usless junk who has no brains and only emotions (which i agree we hav but sometimes our point of views can b really helpful)... then men and women can b happy... its all about equality and last but not the least which i keep tellin my hubby too... RESPECT!! respect ap janab wali nahi.. respect of feelin, respect of opinion, respect of their rites and duties... even after all of this, there can still b prbs... as i said.. its a long term committment which u need to work at continously.. its never ending
mall u wrote very well,,,,,,,,,,brilliant .i m hundred percnt agreed
thats kind of a sad testament mall. Marriage surely is work, its compromise and there are always obstacles, bad times, good times and arguments.
The thing about a successful marriage you are very right about. Marriage is a partnership of equals. Two people working toward common goals. If that is the foundation of the marriage then sure, there will be storms but they will be weathered nicely and sometimes even the worst of times can make the bonds stronger.
When I say that I've had a blissful decade with my hubby, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And we surely have had some tough times but those only served to strengthen our love for and commitment to each other.
I wish that for you people too.
I'm with mama about how I feel about marriage, it's all blissful and wonderful and other froo froo stuff... :D I really mean it, I just don't want to write about it because I'm a hetero male...
Mall, I am so sorry that this has been your experience of marriage. A companionship and affection that results from an equitable and respectful marriage is immeasurable.
IMO these forums are frequented by people who seek help , vent their angers or frustrations, or want to have some fun.
If I am happily married , my spouse , my MIL, BILS, SILs, FIL are all angels and I have no relationship related issues in my life why would I open a thread in these forums ?
Also if you look at the threads i Life1 , you will find many posters who help others with problems out based on their positive experiences in life.
For each married couple having problems there are many out there who are happy with their live. I would not know the exact statistics.
if you ever pick up a news paper where the front story is NOT of someone suffering then do let me know. Its human nature to read/write about suffering.. we are social animals who love to see what's wrong with others .. if you keep telling me that your love life is awesome.. sooner or later i wouldn't have any comments for you, ie. i wouldn't interact with you as much.
There are a lot of couples whom I respect and look upto. Mamaof3, Shikra bhai (and bhabhi) and few others.. so fikar na kar lalay.. zindagi mein bahut piyaar hai.. ;)
Mall, I am so sorry that this has been your experience of marriage. A companionship and affection that results from an equitable and respectful marriage is immeasurable.
hey hey... RELAX... i did NOT say my marriage is not blissful or complete or whatever... all i m sayin is its tough and it calls for alot of compromise, love, respect and trust... ive had my share of prbs but life has to go on u know... so u live and learn... all i m sayin and i stick to it, marriage is not easy and requires alot of effort.. who said that marriage cannot be blissful??? in no way did i imply it isnt possible.. please read my post again
kich mich kich pich
watch out 
