ok i have been reading a lot of threads here talking about parents not hearing out their childern when it come on the topic of marriage, and then childern having to choose between parents or their true love.
who do you choose?
Should we alwayz do as the religion says for example donot disobey your parents. Parents always think they are right but what if they are not right? what if they are hurting themselves but thinking their child has made the wrond decision when in reality its the right decision?
and is it really the right decision when your parents think its wrong?
what about the people who say its ok, i’ll sacrifice my true love for my parents to make them happy and so thay don’t feel hurt, because i’ll be with my true love in heaven?
I’m asking this because if one is fulling not happy with the person they are getting married to, the shaadi is not valid.
Is it wrong if you pick true love over parents? I’m not saying running away or something, but getting married while your parents are not happy with your decision, and they are hurt!!!
I wanna put in what i think is right and what i would do but i feel like people will start attacking me on my opinion, and not fully answer my questions. so i wanna hear your points of view first.
IF you agree/ disagree, tell why, bring in religion and common sense.
P.S all of this is not my life story, well a little , but most of it is reading everyone else’s stories here!!!
Re: where do you start and stop thinking about yourself and think of others?
okay
soooo if ur parentss dislike sumone for thier race ...looks...caste..lak of status..
u can tell them respectfuly u disagree with themm ...meaning dotn swear or yell at them.lol..but tell them that those arnt valid reasons..
if youre parents dislike sumone for thier personality or habits sayyy..drinking smokingg and the likessss....and think they are wrong for you because they personally know them....youre parents might be right.
so you have to factor both sides in ....
Re: where do you start and stop thinking about yourself and think of others?
There is a pearl of wisdom that my dad told me a couple of years before he died. He told me that no one will ever care for you and love you like family does. Your parents are your parents till the day you die and he was proud to be my parent etc.
Its definitely something to consider. Yet, I sadly hear of desi and yes even non-desi parents pushing their kids to marry against the judgement of the kids. Personally, I think that EVERYONE should be in agreement or it just shouldnt happen.
There are all types of people, families and situations though. You have to evaluate - without emotion - the reasons why the family may be against your marrying a certain person and/or reasons for marrying a person that you feel is not the best one for you. And you MUST be open and honest with your family about your feelings and get the same in return. Open and honest discussion about the whole thing.
Its the REST of your LIFE you're dealing with here....nothing else will ever be as important as THIS decision.
Re: where do you start and stop thinking about yourself and think of others?
islamically your parents take precedence in my opinion.however sadly in pakistan most parents forget that there is another part to the obligation. Do not abuse the power given to you by Allah.if you see your child is keen on somebody and there is no good reason for disliking it other than ego problems than get over it.
Now as for children they start of wrong i think. For islamically na mehrm was a very strong idea. Why have a an affair when you know that it is not right islamically. sure you like someone but dont take anyother step towards it, it is not right ,saves you a heartache as well. People who do not listen to this pay either way for if the parents do not listen they lose their loved one and if they do not listen they are breaking their parents heart. so nip the evil in the bud and abstain from romantic involvement.