Re: when ...
no, brother STP,
you have done more than i could appreciate with all respect.
one thing i would offer here is this: care should not have to beg to be of care to the one who is offered absolute care. care does not even want recognition for recognition sake.
may intented couples know that if they were to walk out on each other, that there is nothing more shameful on this earth than that. it just is. and those who are able to honor their own word always, and are fearful of Allah swt, make things work, not look for gaping alibis and act in a selfish, callous manner. either they don know what care is or since they dont know, they project it onto others... failing-ly at that.
but, in the same breath, there is a lesson for everyone in it perhaps.
true human feelings of care are not to be disgraced or insulted by shunning them, specially after having inspired them in the heart of another person.
may Allah swt make the wayward, in this respect, know his own self first before he goes about rebuking someone else's sincerity in care.
Dushwari