someone comes around and makes you feel that you are or he is incapable of true honest feeling of care for each other, what does it do to people?
or what should the person do who is being made to feel that way?
Re: when ...
Depends on few factors. Is he/she a close relative or a colleague/friend ? What kind of feelings are we talking about ? I mean "honest feeling of care" in what sense ? Is the person of same gender or opposite one ?
p.s. The purpose of these questions is to understand if it is even our right to expect honest feelings from the person or should we simply ignore/avoid him/her ?
Re: when ...
STP bhai,
i don't refer to one sided care as love, as it may take on the meaning of physical attraction in case of two opposite gendered people.
Dushwari
Re: when ...
Sister, in that case if he first initiated interest of relationship (for marriage) and than behaving in this way, after the love has cemented in the heart of the other person, than the other person has the right to find out if he actually does not want to continue sincerely or** has he been forced to behave in this manner **by any relative (may be mother, sister...etc) who is not interested in this relationship.
a. If he makes it clear that he is not interested than no point of continuing the relationship.
b. If he seems double minded and not giving clear answers, instead is hanging in between, than he should be forced to give one clear answer or make one decision. Even then if he is coming around and also not showing honest feeling of care, than it means he is not strong willed in making any such decision in life (or is not serious enough to realize that he is playing with someone's life)
^ In such case the other person should not waste life on him, even though it might be a hard decision to make, but the earlier the better. If immediate step not taken, the germs of his love might take hold of the heart and leave their wounds forever if at any stage later in life he clearly refuses to marry.
p.s. I have given my views on the basis of how I understood the question. Kindly correct me if I have misunderstood it anywhere.
Re: when ...
no, brother STP,
you have done more than i could appreciate with all respect.
one thing i would offer here is this: care should not have to beg to be of care to the one who is offered absolute care. care does not even want recognition for recognition sake.
may intented couples know that if they were to walk out on each other, that there is nothing more shameful on this earth than that. it just is. and those who are able to honor their own word always, and are fearful of Allah swt, make things work, not look for gaping alibis and act in a selfish, callous manner. either they don know what care is or since they dont know, they project it onto others... failing-ly at that.
but, in the same breath, there is a lesson for everyone in it perhaps.
true human feelings of care are not to be disgraced or insulted by shunning them, specially after having inspired them in the heart of another person.
may Allah swt make the wayward, in this respect, know his own self first before he goes about rebuking someone else's sincerity in care.
Dushwari
Re: when ...
& b. as sad as it is, makes perfect sense in one such case.