(or bachi) and now an adult do you think your upbringing was better than your own children’s?
I have this weird notion that as times and years go parents get less stricter 
Re: When you were a bacha
i am sure that i have brought up my kids better than I was brought up. i am less strict because i dont want them to be afraid of me.. iwas afraid of my mother. i ell my kids that i love them too.. just this much and i think i am a better mother!!! what do u think?
Re: When you were a bacha
I was very dheet, I was more wary of parents :D
Re: When you were a bacha
My parents are absolutely wonderful now--but of the lectures they give me now, if they had given them to me when I was in HS, my life would probably have turned out very differently.
Re: When you were a bacha
I think as time goes on, parents are still very strict. At least in my home they are. I will probably be stricter because I know all the excuses, know what prom is, know what it feels like, etc. We still got away with certain things when we were younger because our parents were in a new country and didnt know everything there was to know about it...not everything...just certain things.
Re: When you were a bacha
I know me & hubby as parents might be more strict than our parents were. Reason being we probably are more tech savvy & know more than they did back in the days. By more I mean more ways kids can fool their parents & well its not the same out there it used to be 20-30 years back & there is a big difference being strict & being disconnected with your children.
I cannot compare us with them because I think apart from one unfortunate event they did a pretty darn good job raising us. They were more like "sonay ka niawala & sher ki nazar" They told us what was right & wrong & then let us make the decisions & probably that's the reason most of us turned out good.
Re: When you were a bacha
No I meant that as times go i.e. zamana parents are less strict.
Re: When you were a bacha
I think I can say that my parents raised me well...a few things I learned from them which I will implement:
1. Never interfere in sibling issues. growing up, if my sister or I have anything we need to sort out, my parent never give us advice unless we ask. This reduces possible feelings of bias and grudges.
2. My parents have always treated us equal even to the extent that if my mom buys gold for my girls, she buys gold of equal value in form of coins for my sister's son's future wife. :D
3. My parents never give us advice on how to run our married lives.
4. They set the example of serving their families without an expectation of returns. I hope to do the same.
5. Education for the girl is considered ultimate priority in my family. Every girl of my generation in both sides of the family has a professional degree, has worked or is still working. I plan to do the same with my girls.
Regarding strictness, my parents were very strict about a few things such as sleepovers, closed room doors, private phone conversations in a locked room, my sis and I weren't allowed to chill and waste time if mom was standing in the kitchen, making beds and laundry folding...our personal responsibilities, not done, then get the evil eye from ma.
Re: When you were a bacha
No I meant that as times go i.e. zamana parents are less strict.
Shak that is probably not the case will all the parents these days. I think people whose parents were strict in a less understanding way, like "keh diya to keh diya" those present day parents might be less strict with their kids but then again they probably know a different definition of the word strict.
I know I won't snap at my child but boy oh boy she is an infant & I have already set up all the age limits from getting ear piercing done to wearing lip gloss to going out with whom & when & staying over where & when & when to get her a cell phone. Although in our teen years me & hubby had computers & in my case even tv in our rooms, he already says that there will be only one computer with internet access & that too where the screen is visible from any angle in the house. Its not like she won't be allowed any of the things every other kid does but close monitoring & limited access. Wouldn't want her to feel deprived off anything but then at the same time wouldn't want her to be all loose either.
I think we are definitely more strict than our parents.
Re: When you were a bacha
this is a bit all over the place, so forgive me, but i'm trying to order my thoughts here....
i think parents these days have a different challenge raising kids. with all this technology and resources floating around, i think you're looking at different issues than our parents did with us. its almost not fair to compare the two...
i think parents today might be lenient in some ways because the generation gap isn't as huge as it was between us and our parents. my parents were plenty strict because they were raising us as they were raised a looong time ago, and they were strict all the way from when i was growing up to my early 20's because they just didn't understand how times had changed and why you couldn't put limitations on your daughter but none on your sons. anyhow, when i finally had enough at 22 and moved out, things really shook up for everyone at that point, but then they also settled down and finally, i have AH a wonderful relationship with my parents where we've figured things out and can speak to each other like adults who respect and love one another.
so definitely there are somethings that i want to avoid with my own kids- lack of communication, for one.
will i be more strict? i don't know.... i want to be more open for sure so that they don't feel alienated by "The Parents", but that doesn't mean there won't be limitations and boundaries on behaviour.
Re: When you were a bacha
I am not going to get into detail about the things I liked about my upbringing or my parent's parenting BUT I believe that the best thing they made me realize and which was very well implemented at home was that all human beings men , women , rich , poor , dark or fair etc are equal. I was being brought up in a way where I was never mistreated just because I was a girl. Other things like hanging out late etc were forbidden and these things have to be different and more strict for girls but otherwise when it was about education or any other thing I was being treated very very fairly. That is why in my life I did not accept nonsense or abuse just because I am a woman and I was suppose to bear it. I don't deserve to be treated badly or low.
In case of my daughter too I just did not accepted some things just because she was a girl and larkiyon kay sath to aisa hi hota hai. I will be strict with her when it comes to her safety , izzat or future otherwise I will insha allah send her to a school where I would have send my son and I will Insha Allah make her get a professional degree just like my parents did for me. People here believe that if we spend on daughter's higher education then we will not benefit from it because who to doosray ghar chali jaye gi but higher education or professional education is not for parents but for the son or daughter him/her self.
Lecture khatam :)
Re: When you were a bacha
main to abhi bhi apny ammi abu ki wo hee choti si bachi hoon