Do you think this is true or not? Or are the rules different for children vs friends vs spouses?
I used to think it wasn’t…just because I am not always yapping away about my spouse doesnt mean I don’t love him…
but after living with him and going through stuff, I’ve come to realize that even my thinking is “we”…even though I don’t talk about him, i realize everything I think about is tied to him, or what our life is together. And usually someting will slip out “he says this/he does this etc”.
^I don't think it's really true for me at least. I think about my husband constantly and he is my first priority in all decisions---but I'm pretty conservative in discussing our relationship at all with others. I sort of feel like not talking about him and our relationship to others is a form of respecting his privacy, and protects us from the impure motivations that sometimes even seemingly good friends can have (have you ever told a friend about a disagreement you had with your spouse, or even said something nice about your spouse, and the friend responds with some negative comment or meethi churri?---these encounters can ultimately have a negative impact on your spousal relationship.)
Yeah so its A questoinable statement. when we weren't living together i hardly talked about him because anything i'd say would raise so many questions that I just didn't want to deal with. its not like i yap about him all day long or talk about private issues, but inevitably I will mention some detail about him or our life together. but that's just how I perceive myself ot be--open and honest.
I think there is nothing right or wrong about this statement, its just an individual thing. Some people are open, outgoing and talkative .. they are fine talking about anything in certain circles ... while others are reserved and may not feel as comfy discussing their relationships or feelings ...
ok i hav had this issue with me. i was very reserved as a whole but with friends n siblings would share stuff. i would share to the extent they got bored n it would be anything that was on my mind then. So if its a new kid at class or a teacher or something i would keep mentioning them. but when ppl started asking me questions like"r u in love with this person?" i was like wth. does mentioning someone constantly mean that i'm falling for them. i then controlled my habit n started being more cautious
I never discuss marital issues or my relationship with friends or family....those are and should remain private. We are obviously happy together and well-suited to each other and thats all anyone needs to know. But I DO talk about my hub, what he does, the things he works on etc...heck what else is there to talk about lol!! I have my hubs, my boys and my house. Thats my happy little life so thats what I talk to "real" people about. As opposed to cyber people here on GS I mean.
OKay by talking about them, I meant about them, what they do, what their preferences are, some habits etc....not necessarily the relationshpi/marital issues.
hmmmm..many of my real-world conversations include much about hubby and the work that he does. He has many interesting projects that he's working on, he is also part of a Master's Engineering program which is also fascinating, he is a college perfesser and also a cub scout leader. So he's always got so many interesting things going on that it enters every cconversation that I have with people that I talk to.
lol...yes he's been teaching in a NYC college for 2 years now! Technology, operating systems, computer & networking security. He's actually very good at it, his students never miss his lectures!
