its rude for you to ask for the music to be changed... you dont own the place!
I disagree. As a patron of an establishment you can certainly request (not demand) that music be changed. In most instances restaurant management will be more than happy to oblige such requests, unless some other patrons specifically want to listen to such songs. In which case management will use their judgement.
There are plenty of times where we have requested restaurant management to lower the volume of music, especially if the loud music made it difficult to talk, and in more instances than not, people have been happy to do so. Also, we have some times also requested to adjust temperature (e.g. if its too cold or too warm).
None of these requests suggest you own the place. It just means there was something that was bothering you about the ambiance, and you made it known to the management so they have a chance to fix it and retain you as a happy patron. If they fix it, great. If they don't, then you can make a decision to go there again or not. Most good restaurants, and other such establishments want to have happy and repeat customers. They will do whatever is reasonable to make sure you have a nice experience.