when ever i cook something . my mother in law always pass a negative comment about it..
Okay, so if she does this ALL the time....then that's how she is. She ain't gonna change unless she herself decides to snap out of it. If she's made uper mind about your cooking....and if her response will ALWAYS be negative.......does it make sense for YOU to ALWAYS be upset about it? No! Why worry about what you can't change? She might even want you to get upset because that gives her power. So, don't let her win.
for example few days back, i cooked keema . everyone loved it but my MIL said namak tora zayada hai aur mirchai torai kam. aggle baar acha banana. i asked me hubby and he said he loved it.
*^Okay, so everyone loved it. In that case the problem is with HER (your MIL). Maybe she was used to people complimenting HER cooking before you joined the family.....and now she feels insecure that you're being praised. The most important person (your husband) likes your cooking....and that's all that matters. You're married to him....not your MIL. *
yesterday there was some guests and i had to cook biryani.. after the guests left, my mother in law said, next time main biryani banao ghi aur tumhe kilao ghi takke tumhe pata lagai ke biryani kaie hoti hai . i was very upset so today i called the guest and ask her i hope everything was nice and then i asked her if she liked the biryani..and she said yes it was very delicious
Okay.....then you should say "Ammi, agli dafa aap hi biryani banaiye ga. Aap expert jo hain." And then let HER do ALL the chopping/peeling/stirring/sweating.......and you take a break (go shopping, watch a movie). Stress her out in her own game...while you remain calm as a cucumber.
so i want to ask how do you react when someone comment on your cooking?
i always say ..jee theek hai, agle baar koshish karo ghi ke achi banao when ever my MIL comment
^What's the need to say "Agli baar koshish karoon gi"???.......when she is definitely going to criticize you "agli baar".....or har baar for that matter. By making such a comment....you're giving her power. It's like saying that you're going to improve for her sake and that her comments have an affect on you. This gives her the power to say "Beta tum hamesha kehti ho k agli baar koshish karo gi, lekin tumhar koshishain har waqt na-kaamyab hoti hain." Instead just don't respond at all. Smile but don't respond. And at times....pretend you didn't hear her...and remain happy.
^Or you can try to kill her with KINDNESS. For example.....when SHE does the cooking.........PRAISE HER. Say wonderful things about her recipe/dishes. Don't be sarcastic....be nice about it. Maybe when she sees that you have no hang ups about her......she'll become less defensive as well. By complimenting her cooking, you're showing her that you have NO COMPETITION with her and that you're mature..........and this might shame her into the realization that she needs to be mature and stop competing/seeing you as a threat/n bringing you down.