It’s just so sad when you lose a really good friend simply because at one point or another someone develops feelings and decides to turn something wonderful into something chaotic, something we often refer to as a “relationship”. It makes you wonder whehter it’s okay to just ignore the signs (and the not-so-subtle hints) and keep mentioning the word “friend” every five minutes (hoping that they’ll get your own version of a not-so-subtle hint). Then there are the really thick bozos who just don’t get it. So what are we meant to do? Play the role of the witchy tease and just keep whatever friendship you’ve got going or risk losing the best friend and kindred spirit you’ve spent your whole life searching for and tell them off. I’m learning that the latter usually results in an explosion of some sort. What the heck. The bright lights are usually very pretty.
Re: When Someone Develosp Feelings
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by zulaykha: *
. The bright lights are usually very pretty.
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Until the flashing headlights slap you in the face. At which point, six or seven teeth short, you aren't quite so (pretty of course).
The traffic lights are neon coloured for a reason. The whole "stop, look and listen" campaign had so many subliminally placed connotations that I am sure you weren't previously aware of.
Do not be a bitch. But you are supposed to be adults (although evidently for most poeple this means jack).
Talk to him frankly.
It’s a “When a friend falls for a woman” week on Gupshup :k:
PS-
zulaykha, tum apnay dostoN ko Femme, Mehnaz, aur Ducky say introduce karwa dou. They are all tall, gorgeous women. Your friends will fall for them aur tum bach jao gee.
I hate to admit it , but my dad was right on this one. You can't be 'just friends' with guys. It's happened all too often, even though the cultural and religious info is exchanged (arranged marriages). Guys get all wierd and start hinting at things you would rather ignore. I've never been more than a casual friend with a guy, before my husband that is. Once, a couple girlfriends and I had coffee with a guy in our art class. We talked about cultural and childhood memories about ScoobyDoo and Spiderman. We'd chat in class, I'd chat with everyone in class. I didn't think much of it. But very soon after that I found a letter in my locker. He wrote that he knows about my religious beliefs and still feels strongly like he was 'supposed to meet me' and that I 'talk about things no other girl has talked about before'. Anyways it was a shock. I had suspected that he might have a crush on me, but not that serious. I knew i might break his heart if I was too abrupt. In the end, he never spoke to me again and couldn't even look me in the eye.
I felt bad. But I knew that I had done nothing wrong. I was honest and he was better to move on and find TRUE LOVE. I don't mean to flatter myself. I think part of the problem is that I never thought I was worth anyone's attention and so that's why I ignored any signals he was giving. I felt as though I must be crazy if I think any guy is hitting on me. Unfortunately guys are hunters and he continued to pursue me. Now that i'm older and wiser I know that a girl should just nip the issue in the bud before it blooms into a big, out of control issue.
Explosions happen when you are in an unsure phase yourself. If the guy is hitting on you that means you haven’t given him a clear indication. People who mean business back off or get the job done.
haaN that's a good point. The very fact that you're whinning about it is that either you're confused yourself or selfish. Confused hona is ok but selfish is bad. That really tells that kay jee all you care about is your own fun and the minute it's ruined because 'oh God forbid he developed some feelings for you', it's all guy's fault. bhaee men are different than women. They feel and behave differently. They don't wallow into some sort of subtle feelings and live with it for years.
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*Originally posted by saimanyc: *
Guys get all wierd and start hinting at things you would rather ignore.
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I dont think this is limited to guys only. There are girls who dont get the hint as well.
"hamare aur unko pyar mein sirf fark hai itna....
idhar to jaldi jaldi hai udhar Aahista Aahista..."
Guys and gals eventually develop feelnigs for one another, even if they dont want to. Dont stress too much bout it, it may just be a lil thing he's going thru..
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
"hamare aur unko pyar mein sirf fark hai itna....
idhar to jaldi jaldi hai udhar Aahista Aahista..."
[/QUOTE]
Just so that zul understands this, lemme translate :D
the difference b/w our and their love is....
here is quicker quicker and there its slower slower
:Pagri:
^ haha thank u 
i forgot to translate it
I can relate to this topic completely. I have a childhood friend who I grew up with. I never really had feelings for him until I went through my teen years (age 16 onwards). We used to meet once a year, since he was in Pakistan and I was in Europe. Soon after, I realised I was madly in love with him. I think from his side, he was just good friends with me. I felt at times he would lead me on with his words, but he never did anything to show me that he loved me. It was just an innocent friendship. For me though, It was really hard to overcome my feelings at first and to try and make my heart and mind understand that we were ONLY to remain good friends and no more.
Finally, I gave up on him and moved on with my life. Fell in love and got married. With my spouse, things are so very different. The problem is that my childhood friend is still my good friend. Even our parents are good friends. Sometimes, it's hard to face him years later but many times, I am glad that we are better being just friends than anything else. I think it was meant to be this way...
He's married now also...
But I totally see the point of "best friends" can never just be friends. Eventually feelings do get involved. Even if you don't want them to. I think its just a natural process.
It's a really hard situation to be in either way.
Once a friend starts really liking you ..if you don't feel the same they usually don't want anything to do with you after that.
It really sucks! I've lost a few friends like that over the years and the worst part it is it always happens right when you need them the most!?
I think girls are way better at hiding the fact they like a guy friend... cause in the few times this has a happened to me I never suspected a thing.... I dunno... I'm an idiot when it comes to this sort of thing ..
I think if you've had people play games with your feelings in the past you tend to ignore any hints from someone sincere too!
On the other hand if I started liking a friend but she did not feel the same way for me... I'm ok with that... it's alot easier to deal with if you've been in the reverse situation.. but if we stopped being friends after that then I'd be hurt for having lost a friend.
hmmm ive always been better friends with the guy after he's admitted his feelings. I find that once its in the open, u can deal with it and move on... and IF ive ever admitted my feelings, its been the same way as well
think hard
think again
talk to him be str8 forward
and anything that follows is in the best interest for both of u
:k:
good topic :k:
i dunno if its impossible for a guy n a girl to be just friend…cause ive been friends with MANY guyz…in my lifetime n neither of us developed any feelings of that sort…
ummm…yeah it has happened once…with me n this friend…did both of us lose a good friend…hell yeah! :-p
n now…IF i were to like some “friend” of mine…i dun really know if i wud tell him or not 
i jus hateeeeeeeeeee it when this happens 
this feeling of wanting to change the kinda rishta u have with someone
u feel sooooooo helpless soooooo like…u have no control over it…u cant stop those feelings… trust me…
n if u keep it inside u…it jus killsss u..:-(…n when u tell em…u lose watever rishta u have with em too…sigh
n no…ghalti kisi ki nai hoti… …if my ‘friend’ was to come up to me n tell me he likes me…n i dunt…then i wudnt wanna hang around with him anymore either naa… …cause i’ll always be so conscious n everything…i’ll know keh woh mujhe kesi nazar se dekh raha hai…etc etc…
arghhh…dunya keh aik sachayee hai yeh bhi 
…
larkiyon larkon ke beechh aesi feelings paida hoti hi hain… …no matter how much u try ke humaare beechh sub saaf rahe…pure rahe…
n if u think u can keep it inside u…n kinda try to forget the feeling…ignore wat ur hearts telling u…hehhe…aint gonna happen …dun ever try to ignore urself 
…ive tried it…u jus cant :-p
*then i wudnt wanna hang around with him anymore either naa....:( ....cause i'll always be so conscious n everything...i'll know keh woh mujhe kesi nazar se dekh raha hai....etc etc.... *
If someone likes you it's not like he has a bad eye on you or getting physical with u in his imagination. If it's someone you don't like i can understand feeling uncomfortable around him liking you but if its a friend who you probably like and thats why he is ur friend to begin with then there isn't anything yucky about it. Atleast thats how I think.
....no matter how much u try ke humaare beechh sub saaf rahe....pure rahe.....:-(
Whats impure about loving someone??? If it's some cheap moron making sleazy passes at you, you can normally tell and would avoid being freinds with them anyway. But if it's someone you get along with great and hold in some sort of esteem (i would hope) being a close friend and all then there is no question of yuckiness and impurity and stuff.
My best male friend is gay :k: the only way to go.
first quote: …yeah…everyone thinks differently…but really…IF i know someone LIKES me…as in love :halo: i wudnt be at all comfortable hanging around with them…its jus not the same…u gotta agree…n some ‘stuff’ that u cud share with him when u guyz were jus friends…u cant nemore…u jus have to really…THINK i guess…before speaking…
i dunno thats jus me…i wud feel un-easy talking to him…sitting with him…n stuff…
second: hmmm…maybe i used the rong word…PURE… …wat i was trying to say is…well…saaf i guess…when u like/love someone…even if the other person doesnt like u…the baateins …r jus different…the guyz usually like to get all flirty…n before committing urself …its jus wrong…cause then they can go around do aesi baatein with anyone…
its jus the things ive experienced…hard to explain how I’M thinking bout it…
lets say…i like some guy…n i told him…but he never said he likes me…n HE starts getting all flirty…WITHOUT saying he likes me or commiting…umm…i jus wudnt like it… …
i wudnt like anyone to talk to me like that…except that ONE person…that i will commit myself to
just the other day you claimed he wasn’t 