GS "desi girls" are not your average desi girls. These GS girls are westernized, "intelligent" (whatever that means), from upper class families. These girls, when I say this maybe 90%, have not seen what it's like to live in a struggling middle class home. They have not seen the true struggle people go through. Again not speaking for all but 90% is about right.
These girls are into that "equality" hype which is all bunch of fairy tale BS. In Islam which I think we all believe is the true way of life for all time for all mankind, there is no such concept as "equality". by equality they mean working same jobs as men, bringing home $, "providing"...etc These roles are given to men by God, NOT women. Unfortunately, even our own are getting trapped in this madness. No wonder you see high number of marital issues in western societies than you do in tradional societies. Now, don't tell me those women are oppressed please because they're not, try living in their shoes for 1 day you will see they are FREE. They have more freedom than all of you "westernized" girls. They are not trapped in the "financial" stituations (that you create yourself)......
Anyways, all I am saying is, live a simple life, once you start living simple, there won't be any "equality" BS you will care about because you will realize it's all made up.
Cricket, when you say "westernized", a couple of things come immediately to mind...first is that in the west, we have no maids, servants, cooks, drivers or gardeners. We typically have ONE bathroom in the entire house to share. We have small houses with little privacy. NOT a complaint for sure but thats a reality and a big difference whether you choose to realize that or not. I DO see what youre saying and I HAVE seen marriages where the gal moves to the west with her new hubby and expects nothing but mall-shopping and a husband who faints at her feet with utter devotion.
The whole thing boils down to partnership - thats the ultimate meaning and intent of marriage. It is meant to be a partnership in the true sense and if that cannot or does not happen then its not a happy marriage.
Cricket, when you say "westernized", a couple of things come immediately to mind...first is that in the west, we have no maids, servants, cooks, drivers or gardeners. We typically have ONE bathroom in the entire house to share. We have small houses with little privacy. NOT a complaint for sure but thats a reality and a big difference whether you choose to realize that or not. I DO see what youre saying and I HAVE seen marriages where the gal moves to the west with her new hubby and expects nothing but mall-shopping and a husband who faints at her feet with utter devotion.
The whole thing boils down to partnership - thats the ultimate meaning and intent of marriage. It is meant to be a partnership in the true sense and if that cannot or does not happen then its not a happy marriage.
True, we have none of that. But nor does your average family back in Pakistan. I know my family don't have none of that stuff back home. Yes I have lived in a 2 bed apartment with 4 siblings and parents, had only ONE bathroom. Little privacy, I understand. I am not talking about your or I, by westernized I mean, those who do not appreciate, who take everything for granted and complain/whine like no tomorrow.
This teaches you a very valuable lesson and you have gotten the worth of your Internet bill.
What is that lesson.
Do not marry a computer literate , Internet savvy girl , your life will be easy.
well i cant tlk for the rest of the girls on GS, but i am very greatful for my life. see the thing is our brothers and fathers are very protective over us on what we do, where we go who we go with etc...... and there is alot of stuff they restict us from.....
e.g. if a father stopped his daughter from education or working then the father should provide for her....if you dont want to provide for your sisters/daughters then let them become independent and educate them so they can stand on there own two feet....or then dont complain!
i dont like the fact tht people have streotyped me in to this so called group. yes Allahumdillah i am very happy with my life and am very greatful and i work very hard for my life............
no one has a right to tell me i dont know what it feels to be in a struggling family, there are lots of struggles tht families go through upper class, middle class, lower class doesnt matter, no one has a perfect family.......what might seem like a clear glass to you, might be very cracked close up.
~~~~~Please dont stereotype us!~~~~~
p.s this thread has opened my eyes on certain matters
I agree on somethings and i disagree on some other things...
1 thing i have realised is that.... you guys who stay abroad, especially when it comes to
wedding, spend extorbitant amount of money on clothes....whereas where i come from, we thing twice before buying such clothes, which we know will never be worn again.
The other thing being, you guys are in a different country because you wanted something better in life or else you would not have gone, isn't that so... please be grateful.
I come from a middle-class(neither upper nor lower) dont know which...but inbetween... i recognize my responsibilities. Its not necessary for me to work as my father can provide, but these smaller luxuries which i want my family to enjoy is why i work...
Coming on GS is my way of de-stressing as i dont go out to socialize a lot.. you guys are like this extended family(my own relatives...dont ask..:()...so here i am...please carry on guys... you are a joy at the end/start/middle of the day for me...
I dont think desi women are any more complicated than your average woman. In fact, I find us to be better because we already know what we are dealing with and try our best to mentally prepare ourselves. Things like desi cooking, raising Muslim children, joint-family system living, traditional vs modern roles of the woman, etc are better understood by a desi woman.
Desi girls are no different than any other woman out there. They need the same love, care, affection, etc that a non-desi would. Think about it: most of the threads you read here are about men not paying attention to their wives, neglecting them, taking sides of his parents, not treating her right, etc. Do you think a non-desi will not compain if you dont pay attention to her? Or if you stop taking her out after she has kids? Or if you decide your parents are right all the time? Or if you disrespect her? You think a non-desi girl wil stick around after being mistreated?
Desi marriages are a bit different than non-desi marriages. But to imply that desi women create all the problems and are the ones with the issues is wrong...it takes two to tango buddy.
Maybe if you started to look at them as just women, your perception might change?
lol…right, go for an arab gal.
i am sure no pakistani gal is waiting for u.
…but dont forget giving western freedom to an arab gal is same as if u are giving a red strawberry lollypop to a two years old kid (and a two years old lick it without even worrying about his clothes.)
CM, if while reading yr morning newspaper u came across news about couple of traffic accidents in the city (out of all the heavy flow of traffic on the roads) would u stop going out at all ?or change yr mode of transport ? or won't pay attention at all ?
seeing you havent done that as of yet ,you will find a reason to get tied down with the same breed. andlooking at all these thread i’ll wager it will be sooner rather than later.
If living in a country where it is next to impossible to get by on the average earnings of one person in a household, the other partner will need to work so that the couple can survive. THIS IS EQUALITY.
When both husband and wife go out to work, then both should also share the household duties. THIS IS EQUALITY.
When the husband needs some care and attention, the wife should attend to his needs. When the wife needs care and attention, the husband should attend to her needs. THIS IS EQUALITY.
When a husband slaves all day at work and comes home to sit on the sofa in front of the TV, while his wife comes home from slaving at work / school all day and starts to slave away in the kitchen and clean the house - THIS IS NOT EQUALITY.
When the wife attends to her husbands needs but husband does not spend time with her when she needs him or sits at the computer or tv and neglects his wife when she needs some emotional attention, THIS IS NOT EQUALITY.
In real life NOT every man is in the upper middle class section of society where he can support his wife and kids WITHOUT the need for them to work. THIS IS NOT EQUALITY!!!
I am extremely bemused. What in any of my posts implies you should take what I say seriously? But thanks for the chuckle. Good way to finish the day.
Oh yeah you western girls give true desi girls such a bad rep. Tsk tsk. I mean discussing equality and such when you should be making all the men here sammiches. The other men in this thread have it right. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
^^^ what is life4 and what is dowry aghhhhhhh some one tell me!
Dowry are the material things the bride's parents give her at the time of her wedding like clothes, furniture, gold, electronics, cash etc etc. Life 4 is the weddings Forum here onGS
ya true i totally agree..
dnt knw whts gng on with these average dessi girls these days..including me....we ruin our lives ourselves....thats pretty sad isnt it....
Dowry are the material things the bride's parents give her at the time of her wedding like clothes, furniture, gold, electronics, cash etc etc. Life 4 is the weddings Forum here onGS
thnx Eastern yeah i found out what Dowry is, and no i dont believe in tht stuff.....
life4 forum is fun. it's nice to see paki peeps from different part's of the world get married in different ways. but there is nooo way im paying rediculus amounts of money for one shaadi jora it's crazy.....
emmmm ok so i am a westernised girl i take it…and i am giving Desi girls a bad reputation? emmmm… and how you work tht one out. and by the way what is your definition of a true desi girl? you see now your stereotyping all westernised girls. UFFFFF
CM i dont think you even know what you want so good luck in finding watever yoor looking for
I am extremely bemused. What in any of my posts implies you should take what I say seriously? But thanks for the chuckle. Good way to finish the day.
Oh yeah you western girls give true desi girls such a bad rep. Tsk tsk. I mean discussing equality and such when you should be making all the men here sammiches. The other men in this thread have it right. You should be ashamed of yourselves!
And we have yet ANOTHER confused desi guy among our midst...
