Kind of a weird question I guess, but as a parent, what do you teach/expect of your child when guests come over… do you expect them to hang around and be a part of the company (assuming that the guests are adults and no children)? Or just say salam, and go on doing their own thing?
As a kid (preteen/teen/etc), what did you do when guests came over?
We were suppose to sit with them and whether we chatted them up or not, we had to sit with them. Back then it made me hate my parents but I am glad they taught us some form of manners. I have seen kids will come and say salams and head into their rooms and I am sorry, its rude. Once you stop playing with toy, you should learn to treat guest like rehmat. Thats just my personal opinion.
so ur talking about preteens yeah? depended on who was over. If it were someone close, we'd do some gupshup, serve chai and whatevre that needed doing and then go do our own thing... if it wasnt someone close, we wouldnt be expected to do gupshup... we'd help out with the kitcheny things and that was about it
with munchkin, I just pray she goes and sits in anoher room and plays something or watches a movie when we have people over (without kids).
Right now they are too young but as preteeners we had to sit there an we didn't even have smartphones. My brother used to actually listen and question what he didn't understand but now MA the kid can talk to anyone about anything. So it was a good thing for him.
It all used to depend who the guest was.If it was a weekly visit by our dada abu and chacha,yes we were expected to say salams,sit for a while (while they almost always discussed pakistani politics..!) and help mom with serving tea/snacks or whatever.
If it was a distant relative or abu's friend maybe,we never used to go sit with them.Just maybe say salams and help mom with the serving bit.
We were suppose to sit with them and whether we chatted them up or not, we had to sit with them. Back then it made me hate my parents but I am glad they taught us some form of manners. I have seen kids will come and say salams and head into their rooms and I am sorry, its rude. Once you stop playing with toy, you should learn to treat guest like rehmat. Thats just my personal opinion.
did it depend on who it was?
if it was only male, we werent expected to hang around while the adults chatted and dad would generally take them into the lounge. We hardly had any cases like that and hardly any cases where kids werent involved (come to think of it).
Sometimes parents had parenty things to discuss, so we would be "hined" to go do our own thing... but come out every 5 or so minutes or be on standby in our rooms to attend to guestly matters
It was a family thing... My dad actually never brought his friends over for chai wagera here during preteen years and on. It was always a family that came over and thy hung out in the living room. There were times that we were told to go inside but it was post chai!!
I’m guilty of that As a kid/teen/whatever I’d stay holed up in my room. Parents never made me come and talk to the guests… never helped myh mom or anything :-/
Now that I’m not living with my parents, whenever I do go see them, I will at least say salam/help my mom…and depending on who it was, I’d hang around if I wanted to.
I remember when going to others houses, I’d stay glued to my mom for a while…even if there were other kids, they scared me
I would have been so jealous of you back then. My mother is the ultimate socializing pusher. He would be like jao khelo and i would grit my teeth and mumble im 15 and i dont Khel!!!
^ yeah and i see that feed into adulthood... I know its in my family... all the younger ones (eeven though they are married with kids) they disappear when guests come over...will come and make chai but then leave again.... while im the dheet one... I always sit and chat
Uffo the khelo bit was awful as a pre-teen/teen especially with the younger ones. I mean, really lol.
We would usually say salaam and hang around but it wasn't an obligation to stay present at all times esp on a school night when we were told to get on with homework, or bedtime, if the guests were over past 8. During dinner parties though, I was required to help set the table and clean up after and help with chai when I was older. My mum is the ultimate hostess though and my dad looooves socializing, so I channel their ways a lot now just from watching them do it whilst growing up, and always find it odd when we go to places where the same is not offered -which sometimes happens with certain gora friends. Different cultures, I suppose.
The ‘khelo’ part was something we heard too.
We were grown ups,and incase we had kids over,ammi used to tell us to get the younger kids ‘toys’.God how I hated that.Where did I have toys???It used to be so awkward in front of the guest people ‘ammi toys nahin hai’.That was when ammi used to say ‘jao khelo’.I am sure if those kids remember,they wont have very fond memories either…