… to some family friend’s kid or relative’s kid… what are some consequences? Kids grow up, don’t like each other or whatever. I mean, is that right? It still happens a lot. 
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
They need a few slaps in the head.
Re: When parents promise their child’s hand in marriage
Lekin, kya karey bacha.
I know this family… they want their 2 year old daughter to marry the 6 year old son of a close relative… Why…Why can’t they just wait? This is silly.
They need a few slaps in the head.
yeah...slap them at least once / hr / day....thats the only way to make the kids love each other n remember that love until they get married and then they can take out life insurgences against each other n find creative ways to butcher each other. last one standing [on hands or legs or head]...will walk/crawl/drag him/herself away with large sums of money..
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
its oka if its done jokingly..but when they grow up and try to acutally honor that promise..oh hell will break loose..and parents who do that deserve the headache/heartache for being such morons.
yeah...slap them at least once / hr / day....thats the only way to make the kids love each other n remember that love until they get married and then they can take out life insurgences against each other n find creative ways to butcher each other. last one standing [on hands or legs or head]...will walk/crawl/drag him/herself away with large sums of money..
The parents, not the kids.
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
Not a joke but an agreement between both parents.
I tell ya...
Hell on earth I see.
speaking yoda style
The parents, not the kids.
you want parents to get married at early age?
Re: When parents promise their child’s hand in marriage
Saieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen, aaj khana nahi khaya 
Re: When parents promise their child’s hand in marriage
Yes,i know parents do that.When I was just some months old,my phuppo asked for my hand for his 3 year old son.But as Iam grown up now,I openly decline this rishta,as I really do not have any feelings for him.Moreover,he is good-for-nothing and a street wanderer,but now my parents are scared of rejecting this rishta,as they say they had given their words to my phuppo,and it will cause quarrel among the family
In the West?
It’s not right, kids aren’t some sort of commodity to be promised or traded or used to ‘cement’ friendships, solidify family ties or sort issues of money. When it comes to relatives if u need ur kids to marry ur brother or sister’s kids just to keep ur family together then there isn’t much of a family to start with imo.
Another thing that really riles me is when some people say if u marry ur cousin at least u can be sure he won’t ever divorce or leave u. I would rather my hubby left rather than stay when he doesn’t even like me just to keep his family happy. The whole thing is so contrived and makes it seem as tho u can’t count on anyone who isn’t blood related.
In the West?
It's not right, kids aren't some sort of commodity to be promised or traded or used to 'cement' friendships, solidify family ties or sort issues of money. When it comes to relatives if u need ur kids to marry ur brother or sister's kids just to keep ur family together then there isn't much of a family to start with imo.
Another thing that really riles me is when some people say if u marry ur cousin at least u can be sure he won't ever divorce or leave u. I would rather my hubby left rather than stay when he doesn't even like me just to keep his family happy. The whole thing is so contrived and makes it seem as tho u can't count on anyone who isn't blood related.
Absolutely agree!That's what i get to hear everytime.Because of having such a mentality,and such thoughts,parents in our society are usually hesitant to give away their daughters to anyone outside the relatives.
I guess some parents don't realize that by promising their CHILD'S hand in marriage to someone, they have reduced their child to an animal.....cattle. They don't realize, understand, or seem to care that this CHILD is one day going to grow up to have thoughts, feelings, opinions, wishes, and more importantly a mind of his or her own.
I guess these parents seem to think that the child is always going to be an obedient dependent child. Well, children tend to be more obedient because at that young age much of their identity and perspectives are shaped by their parents. This need makes them more dependent on parents....and allows parents to have more CONTROL over them. But as they grow older, they naturally become more independent and it's CRUEL to impose decisions on a child who is now an adult and can think for him/herself. And parents have a hard time acknowledging this independence and letting go of the CONTROL they once had. By imposing a childhood marriage pact.........parents show that they have willingly **INVALIDATED **their child's feelings not only a human being but also as an individual. This sends the message to the child that he is not cared about, or that he was only cared for and brought up to fulfill the wishes of the pact.....what have you. It just deeply hurts the child.
As far as consequences are concerned, Nik, well they can be pretty UGLY and potentially destroy the family. For example, a girl grows up hearing her name linked with her cousin all her life and is given the impression that she will one day marry her cousin. She has no problems with this because she is in love with him. He, on the other hand, thinks of her as a sister. And every time the two of them are seen interacting with each other in even the SIMPLEST MEANINGLESS way, the parents blow things out of proportion and think that they like each other. Then they drop the Acme anvil when they bring up the rishta topic. But there is a conflict of interest. The girl gets hurt. Her parents get mad. There is now a family grudge that just never seems to go away completely. Sounds like a PTV drama doesn't it? But these dramas are often based on real life. If the cousins are both mutually uninterested in each other, or if they both have a mutual interest.......things are not so bad since they're both on the same page. If they BOTH don't like each other, hopefully they won't be pressured into a marriage.
BUT if it turns out to be a one-sided romantic interest..... that can be painful. The damage has been already been done with with the childhood marriage pact and name-linking all those years.......now the hurt person has to find closure and move on because most likely there will be no parental apology or acknowledgment/admission from the parents regarding their foolish mistakes which could somehow even calm the hurt of rejection.
So, these are the consequences I've read/heard about/watched regarding these childhood rishtas.
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
I've seen parents get their kids married to a cousin.........and the marriage turns out to be dysfunctional.....and results in divorce. I've also seen successful cousin marriages. BOTTOM LINE........there is no guarantee for the future..........and this EXACT THOUGHT should have occurred to the parents BEFORE agreeing to promise hand in marriage for their innocent, senseless, dribbling, drooling, gurgling, babbling INFANT!
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
I still have a hard time believing that people would still do that, this day & age. It's really sad.
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
it did happen a lot back in the day, back home. phuppos, khalas, chachas, mamoos would get overly emotional about their nephews and nieces and in order to strengthen family ties they would want to seal the deal but of course decisions based on emotions alone are hardly ever practical. but I don't see it happening as much now, 'cause the ball in is in our court now, a different generation, different mind set altogether.
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
ofcourse promising hands in marriage from an early age is a dumb thing to do
but i find it even more chichora of an act where parents kid bout each others kids and say
array dekho kaise tumhara baita meri beti ko taar raha hai jaise bf gf ho..
or
say things that puts the wrong kinda info in their kids heads... its just wrong and so sleazy...... just as gay as white ppl askinng their 3 yr old if they have any bf or gf in kindergarden.... sure some ppl find it cute.. i find it totally wrong.
Saieeeeen loag khana naheen khatay. Inki biwi paka kar naheen deti na is liaay. lol Inko GS pay bohat time guzarnay ki wajah say yay saza milti hai. lol
Re: When parents promise their child's hand in marriage
That is so very wrong. Don't ever talk about this thing again. Jub baray hon gay aur buchchay razi hon gay to baat karna chahyay.
Shadi karnay ka irada hai yay bhi kabhi bhi zikr naheen karna chahyay. Bohat bura asar hota hai buchchay pay agar aik ishq main giraftaar ho jaay aur doosra naheen to bohat ghalat hota hai uskay saath jo zahan main basa letay hain.
That is so stupid.