Loosing anyone especially a parent is always heart - wrenching. And if one of the two go, the other parent finds it even more difficult to keep going as they’ve lost their life companion that they’ve always been with.
With old age, parents become senile - showing weakness of old age. Now that one parent has passed away - the remaining one is not wanting to leave their current home (rightly so) but the children don’t want their parent to live alone.
How does one handle this situation??
The daughter can’t simply pack up her home and move in to her parents home to look after dad, but daughter & her hubby have no issues whatssoever for the parent to stay at their place, but the parent does not want that.
Has anyone been in this situation & what do you do?
With old age, parents become senile - showing weakness of old age. Now that one parent has passed away - the remaining one is not wanting to leave their current home (rightly so) but the children don't want their parent to live alone.
In your specific case, is the parent not capable of living on their own due to physical or psychological issues? Are they a physical danger to themselves or others by living on their own?
How far away is the daugher/hubby's house from the parents?
i think parent should live with the daughter and her husband as they have voluntarily and happily volunteered to have her with them.
there must be a series of reasons why the daughter and her family may not want to move in with the parent. it may be an old, bad, inconvenient neghbourhood, their work place may be farther or he may have other relatives or friends in their own neighbourhood.
You have to understand that everyone is comfortable in their own house and space. It is very difficult for an independent person like the father to suddenly leave his own house and go and live with the daughter or even son if son lives in a separate house.
People have different habits and different way of living. In this case daughter's husband will have his own lifestyle and habits, father may have a different lifestyle and habit. It is difficult to adjust and trust me adjustment is required in every case.
Can the daughter find some helper who can do the household work, cook food and then may be daughter can visit every evening or may be every other day.
The daughter should try to move-in with him and let him be as comfortable as possible. Everything else will fall into place Inshallah..
That is not realistic at all.
It is not something that can be done right away as the parent finds comfort in his own house where he spent his life with his wife. It is also a huge challenge for the daughter to just move out of her husband's place and live with the parent (most parents dont want that for their daughters). However, temporarily, it would be good for the daughter to visit him on a regular basis and make sure he is ok, eating well etc. Daughter and her husband can also try to take him out over the weekend to her place or just outside to do what he likes to do. Honestly, the best thing to do would be to make sure he knows you are there for him even if you are not living at the same place.
I agree, daughters, or even sons moving in is not realistic. They might be living in a diff city or diff part of town, or bigger house which is fit for their need.
Depends on the age and health of the parent. If the parent was working, was able to drive and were in good health I would let them be.
But for elderly parents I would treat them as I would my kids. Sometimes they overestimate what they can do for themselves independently. So you as their kids have to do what's in their best interest.
yes they want to live alone. Should they? NO
yes they want to live in the town with their friends. Should they? NO
The best is to have the parents move in with the kids. At first it's hard for them to adapt living in a new environment but they adjust.
I know it sounds harsh but I would feel so guilty if something happened to my parents. I would want them to have someone around on a day to day basis. Living alone is not easy. I would worry about depression etc.
Depends on the age and health of the parent. If the parent was working, was able to drive and were in good health I would let them be.
^ This!
Their physical AND mental health determines whether or not they need to live with someone. If the parent is actually not able to live on their due to physical and mental issues, then I would get legal guadianship and force them to move if they refused to cooperate. Of course, this is assuming that I can not afford to hire someone to take care of them in their own home. But whether or not the parent is actually incapable of living on their own should be determined by trained medical professionals.
However, if its a situation where there is no actual "need" for the parents to move....they're fully capable of living by themselves and prefer to stay in their own home....then I would let them be. I'm not going to force my parent to move (when they're physically and mentally healthy) just b/c it somehow makes me feel better.