What do you guys think about situations when one brother in a family becomes more materially successful than another brother? Does it necessarily affect their relationship with each other even when they don’t want it to? Is it possible for it not to? How much help can that brother provide to the other brother?
Even if things are normal between the brothers, what about their kids? Will there necessarily be the rich/poor thing between the kids?
If you were a guy and your brother was poorer than you because he just didn’t put effort towards his economic advancement, you were the one who always took use of the opportunities, your brother was just unmotivated/lazy but you were always motivated, would you always give him part of your earning, even if he is happy and leading an okay life at his current economic level? Or would you also stop making use of those opportunities if that made the relationship better…? Your giving him money makes your brother even lazier and dependent on you which might not be good for him in the long run.
I have seen this situation between brothers in many desi families…
Where do you draw the line if you draw one at all? How do you deal with this situation?
its not just abt the poorer bro tho yaar becoz think if u r the richer bro its tough too coz you dont feel comfortable eating chicken when you know your brother is eating daal and sending ur kids to a posh pvt school when u know ur brother's kids r going to a govt school where there r no facilities...n so on...
so even if the poorer bro is happy the richer bro will always have a lil bit of guilty conscience typa feeling tho he hasnt done anything wrong but he always will..
the most i think one brother can do for the other when they live in different houses is offer to let the kids live with u or let u school them, at my grandparents house there was always one or more cousin staying with them while he/she went to school. My moms cousin Abda never new another house after the age of 5 until she got married...but thats where u have to stop, at least i think so...
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by larki_punjaban: *
the most i think one brother can do for the other when they live in different houses is offer to let the kids live with u or let u school them, at my grandparents house there was always one or more cousin staying with them while he/she went to school. My moms cousin Abda never new another house after the age of 5 until she got married...but thats where u have to stop, at least i think so...
[/QUOTE]
1) level of disparity
2) level of need of the less afluent brother
in addition approach matters.
If X makes $70K/yr and his sibling Q makes $200K/year. Both can live off of it. X will have to be more prudenbt in where he gets a house, how big, what car he drives..how he spends his money since he has less disposable income. In a challenge there sure he can look to his sbling for some help, but as an exception, and just live in his means.
however if X is barely getting by and Q is a millionaire, then In my view Q should try to help X get on his feet, help with his kids education, his housing and/or help him set up a business or something. Q should do it without X even asking him.
Approaches matter too, if X lives beyond his means and then expects X to continously bail him out and expect and demand that Q do it, then that is just using the person without any regard to that person's commitments, responsibilities etc.
I don't think that it's a problem. One of my dad's brothers is richer than the next 20 wealthiest people in the family put together, but he gets treated no differently than anyone else in the family. The sole exception is that when a family members encounters financial troubles, he contributes more so to resolve the problem than others in the family do, but that is it.
geometry