Re: When Kids Fight, how do you react
from what i remember from when i was that age, it is mostly about the company a kid is in. kids dont know boundaries of appropriate behavior, or how to behave when angry. they pick up whatever they see around them. i guess it is important to make sure he isnt hanging out with kids who behave badly, and to be talked to on how to behave when angry about something.
Re: When Kids Fight, how do you react
^I slightly disagree. The biggest influence to a child in early stage of his/her life is his/her parents/siblings. While kids pick up odd behavior from their outside environment, their home environment help them understand the outside environment.
Re: When Kids Fight, how do you react
Witch, from what I've seen so far, you're right - kids model their behavior after mom and dad in their early years. But once they get out into the world of peers, its the peers that influence their behavior. The biggest desire is to be accepted and popular, and that seems to start in kindergarten (age 5) and they SO quickly learn how to accomplish that. And since they're too young to understand that actions have consequences, all the good teachings of dedicated parents can go right out the window very quickly.
Icon, youre in a tough spot - to keep your boy inside or to let him go out. If its possible, taking him to swimming class and other activities is a wonderful way to vent out energy but I know its not always possible to arrange an outside activity every day. Thats why I suggested supervision for the gang outside on your block...unless you plan to move, your little guy is going to have to learn how to deal with them and the bullies on your block also need to learn how to interact. If they're all supervised and taught how to treat each other nicely, you'd be doing a favor for a whole generation yeah?
Its also a really good idea to let your little guy see how an adult handles anger in a mature and non-violent way. I noticed that after the very few times I resorted to a butt-smack, the boyz would start to butt-smack each other. Amazing how fast they pick up on things.
Re: When Kids Fight, how do you react
Frankly i get pissed off.
Moreover my som Talha fights a lot (with kids on the block). Many times i have given a good talk to other kids.
ANother problem is that Talha does not back off if bullied and at times takes stick or wicket to fight. One day he even took a knife from the kitchen. Bcoz of this i try to be around when he is playing outside.
I think fights are a normal part of growing up....however wanting to use a knife is a bit extreme. I think you need to have a heart to heart with your son and tell him to try to control his anger.
Re: When Kids Fight, how do you react
Witch, from what I've seen so far, you're right - kids model their behavior after mom and dad in their early years. But once they get out into the world of peers, its the peers that influence their behavior. The biggest desire is to be accepted and popular, and that seems to start in kindergarten (age 5) and they SO quickly learn how to accomplish that. And since they're too young to understand that actions have consequences, all the good teachings of dedicated parents can go right out the window very quickly.
That is why I said, "I disagree slightly". :p
However, nothing goes out of the window that quickly. It takes time to develop behavior change and the symptoms become more and more observable over time.