my friends husband had enough of his wife moaning about a decision she had previously agreed on, she had changed her mind ( something to do with their kids or whatever) and then spent the last few months crying, he said he had politly and with love etc tried to listen and calm her down but it was now too much cos she cried every day and was moody for the last 3 months…anyway so he spoke to her mum about it…and asked her mum if she could try to talk to her.
my friends now even more mad as to why he went to her mum.
im not sure if it was a good or bad idea, even though her mum taking to her did in the end get her to see sense.
but was this a good move for him? hes otherwise a nice guy from what she says.he says getting her mum involved was a last option for him, she said it should never have been an option unless the issue was very big such as cheating/hitting etc
Re: when is it ok to go to your parents for advice.
As a last option, yes he did the right thing. He did try to resolve the problem for three months and then he had no choice. And all is well that ends well. Since they seem to be a new couple, they would need the elders' help every now and then until they're mature enough to handle things on their own - your friend should understand that.
Re: when is it ok to go to your parents for advice.
Had he not tried to resolve the issue with her, I would have said he was wrong to go to her mother.
However, he did. Its not fair to punish him with crying and moodiness even when he is trying to solve the problem. Of course he will try to reach out to someone else.
He went to her mother because as a mother she will truly try to help them and not gossip about their marriage.
Re: when is it ok to go to your parents for advice.
Would the wife have preferred it if he ......let's say..........got someone from OUTSIDE THE FAMILY to talk to some sense into her? Wouldn't that have generated some gossip as Reha mentioned above? She'd be more offended with him then.
ALSO........he turned to HER mom for advice. I bet you she would have been MUCH MORE offended if he had gotten HIS OWN mother (in other words the MIL) to talk to her. :p
If you think about it......the husband took a risk. Because one's own parents tend to support them. In other words, if he had gotten his own mom to reason with his wife.....his mom would likely take his side....thus there would be a bias. If he consulted HER MOTHER.....then there's always the chance that HER MOM would support her own daughter.....thus making a biased decision in her daughter's favor. So, that's something to consider as well.
It's a good thing that he feels comfortable with his wife's parents.
Re: when is it ok to go to your parents for advice.
I think if the relationship between the wife and her mother is good, it's fine to speak to her about it. It would be different if it was his own mother.
Re: when is it ok to go to your parents for advice.
yea i agree with everyone else has said he did the right thing
Did she really expect him to go on listening to her moaning and complaining and not do anything if he could not talk her out of it for the last 3 months or so
