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^ r u kidding me? any parhi likhi khatoon with common sense will never go through that kind of mental torture. even if its pakistan.
i know someone in pakistan whose husband was the biggest jerk ever. she was smart and educated and when she cudnt take it anymore she divorced him! finished her PHD, made a career and remarried. she has never been so happy before.
so ur excuse of being in western society Vs non western society is pretty stupid.
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nikkah- last summer.
rukhsati end of this year or jan 06.
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suroor baji may be ur right.. may be iam wrong.. thanks for the advice.. Hopfully it will change my way of thinking as well 
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^ i hope it does change, for ur own sake. :-)
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hey Attia - how about I arrange a date for you with DA? She is good in "larayaan" and I am sure she can arrange for beatings if you want too.
Oh God! DA will become the first "Husband Beater!". I tell you this girl has the anger of hitler in her.....
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its says in the quran beat for a reason??? Beating is a form of abuse, whether it be wife, child, husband, it is something which is prohibited in Islam. it is a distortion of Islam to say that wife beating is allowed in Islam.
please read the below translation for the verse which states this. one cannot just read the quran and derive translations, it takes people years and years to translate the arabic because it is so complex. anyway read this taken from www.sunnipath.com:
**The issue of disciplining the wife comes from verse 34 of Surat al-Nisa. Yusuf Ali translates this verse as follows, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what God would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For God is Most High, great (above you all). Pickthall’s translation is, " Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High.” **
**As you can see, one translator chose the word “beat,” while the other chose the word “scourge.” The Arabic word is “wadribouhounna,” from the root word “darb.” Linguistically, “darb” has many meanings, some of which include to hit or strike lightly. The English translations may be misleading in some cases and that is why it is important to go to the Arabic sources and see how the scholars have interpreted this verse. **
**I have found that the majority of scholars have interpreted this as permission for men to discipline their wives who have become “nashiz,” which means rebellious, recalcitrant, or lewd. This permission is not a general permission to discipline the wife whenever the husband feels like it, but rather is meant for women who act out in very specific circumstances and threaten the harmony of the marriage. Furthermore, it is a permission granted by Allah to men. It is not a right or privilege. Scholars have also placed limits on what form this discipline takes. The husband is only allowed to use his hand or the equivalent of a miswak, a tooth-stick. Furthermore, he may not strike in anger, beat, bruise, or harm his wife. Rather, he gives her a symbolical tap with this very light object. He may not strike her face or any other delicate part of the body. And once again, this is permission, meaning he does not have to do this, but is merely allowed if circumstances warrant. **
**Before he disciplines his wife, he is required to take other measures. Note how the Qur’an commands men to first talk to their wives and persuade them with kind, wise words. Then if that fails, he is allowed to forsake marital intimacy, that is, sexual intercourse, as a way to make the wife understand the seriousness of her actions. Finally, he is allowed to physically discipline her, but only within the above-mentioned limits. Scholars also say that if he knows that physical discipline will not achieve anything, he should not pursue it. And scholars also caution men to look at the example of the Prophet, peace be upon him. It is a well known fact that the Best of all Creation, upon whom be peace, never hit his wives. **
**This permission for a man to discipline his wife is something which men should not take lightly. If this discipline results in any physical or emotional harm to the wife, it is unlawful for the husband to continue. Both husband and wife should be able to sit down and discuss the problem as adults. The fact that problems between husband and wife escalate into physical confrontations is something we as a community need to address. **
The Islamic paradigm for marriage is one of love, mercy, and mutual respect, not violence, fighting, and hatred.
even in Islam, it says that there is so much a person can take, u only know what you will do when you are put in that situation. May Allh grant you a pious loving faithful spouse who will be best for you deen, family and future.
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suoor …just a few days ago…i came to kno about this woman who’s going through a lot (include beatings , swearing n atempts to kill her) …n she’s suffering or past 18+ years …even though she’s in europe n even though she is has been the only bread winner for family of 7 for many years…yes its sad …truy sad …but i really don’t know what should she do …there are tooo many complicacies attatched to it
i can just pray for her n many many women like her!
back to topic…!!
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oh yeah..
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i am not good with dates or numbers..so lets see:
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That means when you actually leave your parents home n get to live with your hubby ?!?! 
p.s : By the way, i dont wanna burst your bubble.. but you want to be married by 32 and want loads of kids… right?!? .. don’t you think u would’nt hav much time in hand for that?!
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Aleezay, what’s a hubby?
ok let’s count, from 32 to 42 it’s 10years one kid every 2years means 5:) !! which lots of kids:p (by europeean standards), anyway if I could (ie if I meet “my” man before) i would marry and start having kids before 32…
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Why did u post my topic here 
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Sorry 
I just wanted to post that post. 
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Y ?
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It was something she said that I wanted to point out. Ill edit it
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Whoa slow down girl. We’re not living in Utopia yet. Sometimes Allah subhan puts us up to a task which is most baffling. U never never know what fate may hit u with. Virtue itself doesn’t cuts it easy at all, neither is being spiritually close to Allah an ultimate solution (not because He will let us down, but because we get weak and stop seeking His aman and turn towards the mercy of the world), unless you know urself darn well and know for a fact that u’re able to pull through while keeping ur faith intact. Atti, I know you have pure intensions and I love this innocence about you. But sweety, there’s much more to life than having such grand expectations. Its rathe better that on a scale from 1-10 when it comes to ppl and expectations…4 would be most suitable number. To be brutally honest, actually 0 is far better and grants u higher chances of happiness. This Majazi Kuda theory is well and good, but if one trully finds someone really worth it. My advice to you would be is to have both feet on the ground…for floating on the 9th cloud eventually leads to a drastic fall Atti. And I for one can’t bear to see someone as sweet as u heartbroken. Therefore my 2 cents worth prep-talk!
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^ps. No one should put up with a 'khana kharab sharabi kababi' sorta suffocating, abusive and parha liqha jahil spouse at any costs to begin with. Cuz he will only dominate you, rather you changing him...its highly unlikely for bad ppl to change ;-) Seriously!
