We know someone who is suffering from cancer. She has had it for a few years and what started out as breast cancer has spread all over her body. Recently they found tumors in her brain. We saw her today after a long time and at first glance I thought she looked healthy but she was bloated from her medications, could hardly walk, did not eat much. It was like talking to a cadaver. I felt nauseous looking at her because I have known this woman for so many years. She used to show us poetry she wrote when young, would dance at weddings, including mine. Now she was barely alive. And her family was suffering.
I have no right to say this and I do not suffer from a terminal illness but everyone knows she is going to die soon. Not only medically the doctors have pretty much said that there is not much they can do, her spirit has been snuffed. Her family is caught in a never-ending state of anxiety and grief. Wouldn’t it be better to stop the chemotherapy and all other medications and just give pain relief so at least her last days in this world could be full of happiness and not nausea, weakness, despair? Wouldn’t it be better for her family as well if she went peacefully and they could begin to heal? But when I think of someone I love suffering from such a calamity, I would never want to let them go, I’d try everything to keep them alive for just a little longer. But what’s more important? The quality of life or how long you live?
Cancer is ugly. All diseases are. It's astonishing how many people I know are suffering in some form or another and the pain they go through everyday. May Allah protect us all. Take care of your health guys and may you always stay healthy!
Sarah - been through this in my own family, most recently a few months ago my father passed from cancer that had traveled throughout his body. It is hard to look at a person you remember one way and see them so different.
Emotionally and spiritually, something like this tests your endurance and faith. I will pray that your friend does not know too much pain if that is what is to happen.
As to the other part of your post, I believe people prolong the life of someone on ventilators, respirators, etc. for selfish reasons not for the best interest of the patient. Because they love that person and want them to be there for them. I am talking about terminally ill people and people suffering brain injury, not illnesses that are recoverable.
My personal belief is quality of life over quantity. I have had a living will in effect since my last bout with cancer a few years ago. With so much of my family in the medical field, hearing the stories about patients in pain begging to be left to die while the family fights to keep them alive made me want to make sure everything was very clear to all about my wishes. I think the Teri Schiavo case also brought to light the need for a living will.
Sarah, I'm sorry your friend and her family are going through this. I couldn't imagine the pain a parent feels when they have to accept the fact that their child is dying. Letting go is the hardest thing in the world. But having compassion means putting aside the need to 'hold on'. I hope her parents do what is most beneficial to their daughter. If the doctors say there is nothing that can be done, then they should let her spend as much time with her family. A peaceful death...sounds terrifying, but there is a psychological aspect to accepting Allah's plan. If one is hooked up to machines, fighting, and struggling to stay alive, then one has never accepted the inevitable. I hope her last days are spent connecting with loved ones, being able to say goodbye with a sense of peace and acceptance.
i dont know.. sounds BS but a lot of the times the doctors are completely off about everything. i know this because my grandfather was in advanced state of cancer, he was very weak and inoperable, the best doctors in the city at Agha Khan said that he will die in 3 months and we should start preparing for it. at liaquat national they said yeah agha khan is right, but we'll operate on him, maybe he'll die sooner, maybe it'll give him six more months. he mashallah went to live on for 9 years after that, and died of an unrelated disease (TB).
This is an extremely personal question....I mean, my boys are so young...if god forbid I came down with a terminal illness, I'd be willingto suffer anything just to see them grow up - even if I were unable to participate in their endeavors. So for me personally, quantity is better than quality. But if I were to be diagnosed when they are "all set" in life ie., done with college, married to nice girls etc etc...then my choice would become quality. Its all personal perspective. May God/Allah grant peace to your friend.
I think quality of life is more important than the quantity.
I have mixed feelings about life support and I think it depends on the situation. If the person has enough damage that if they were to regain consciousness they would be in a sort of vegetative state, then they shouldn't be on it. If, on the other hand, they have a chance of leading a somewhat normal life should they regain consciousness, then they should.
The problem with life support is that for all we know, the person could be dead but the machines are continuing to make his/her body's heart pump and you know how Islamically you're supposed to bury a dead person asap...
Some doctors say that it hurts the patients to be on life support...how they would know that, I don't know. Maybe from their experiences with dealing with patients who regained consciousness...
My mom's side of the family, nearly everyone is. I escaped the family tradition by becoming a chef, then a computer programmer. Unfortunately, I have had to eat at the same table where the nightly medical discussions are how to treat something, how disgusting something is, and "wow, guess what happens when..." topics.
Sarah-- I know this case is different...but Ive been in sutations when the docs were wrong. I mean I was told at points that I would lose my parents! Imagine that!!! But Alhamdulillah both pulled through. We might know when a person is very ill or near death, but Sarah people have lived through many many illnesses. Its amazing, but I guess sometimes you have to have faith in more than just medicine! And I hope that everything goes well with this family. I have seeing people ill. May Allah give health to the lady and strength to her family.
I have a very close family member currently going through someting similiar. and before that i was pro-euthanasia.
And now I am confused.
My grandmother is an example i can talk about. She was 100 + and deteriorating. mashallah sai she had always been healthy. when i heard she had become paralysed from hearing her daughter was dying I thought that the best for her would be to aid her dead. Give her death in dignity. When she was well she was totally independent, forcefully so until her last step.
However now I see that every last moment becomes precious, how can we presume to take away something so valuable. every second is like a gem when you know it's limited.
There is the argument that perhaps some people want control over their deaths, but what about their family?
I agree with giving people the right to choose. when in a mentally functioning state....maybe.
I've had a close encounter with cancer. 1 month after being married, my father-in-law was diagnosed with stomache cancer. The tumor was removed and he received chemo and radiation; Sept 2004 he received his last treatment. Things were going well for a bit, but during the last week of Ramadan, he was extremely sick (fluid was accumulating in his belly). The fluid tested positive for cancer...basically the cancer was swimming around all of his organs. 4.5 litres of fluid were removevd from his belly; 1.5 litres , there after, were removed 3 times a week.November 2004 he was admitted into the hospital and underwent another chemo treatment. But since his body did not react to the chemo at all, the doctors said that they were going to stop the chemo...quite a shock to us. They had told us that if they gave him more chemo, the time that he had left would be passed in misery. As a result, we opted not to have the chemo, and to make the best of the situation.
It is really difficult to see someone you care about waste away slowly....I still remember how frail his body was right up to the end.....
Sarah that is very sad to hear. May Allah give the family hope and courage to go through this time because everyone can imagine how that psychologically feels like when your love one is suffering. But jab maut ati hai to apney waqt par ati hai chaye jitna bhi ilaaj karalo. Its very hard situation but if she is suffering, i think her parents should stop the chemo. on the other hand, ravage is right too. Some time these doctors have no clue to what they are saying.
May Allah give her patience.