When not to Fart.
- In a crowded elevator
- On a crowded bus
- In a public library
- While on a date
- While giving a speech
- In church
- In a crowded classroom
- In your office when you’re alone - someone’s bound to walk in
immediately afterwards - In a movie theater
- In your cubicle at work - again someone’s bound to walk in to visit
- In a walk-in freezer - it’ll linger a while
- In an commercial airplane
- In a ticket line
- In your car before picking up a family member
- during confession
- In bed when you’re feeling frisky
- In a Cessna
- While fighting fire in a burning building
- In a patrol car for a minor violation
When to Fart
- In your bosses office as you are turning to leave. Tip-Make sure
it’s a silent one. - In a bathroom
- In a cashier’s line - it might help to speed up things
- In an empty elevator before you get off
- Next to an occupied changing room - it may quickly become
unoccupied. - In someone elses unoccupied cubicle at work
- While parachuting
- While scuba diving
- In the back seat of a patrol car if you are arrested
- During interrogation if you’re the one being interrogated
- In your car if you’ve been carjacked
- In the changing room when you’re sure someone else is waiting their
turn. - In your car once you’ve been pulled over. The cop may let you go
quicker. - During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors
- While walking down a crowded hallway. Nobody will know who to
blame.