People who dont feel guilty or sorry after hurting others just because they wont have any interaction with them in the future?
Attitude??? Egoo?? No humanity???
I think their attitude stems from their huge ego. Such people are very frustrating, but Allah will take them to account in due time. Today I had started a thread on the subject of karma and then I scratched it. I even debated whether I should blog about it, but decided otherwise.
I’ll share my story here instead and perhaps you’ll derive some comfort from it. The past two years at work have been topsy-turvy for me. There have been some highs in terms of achievement, Alhumdolillah, but two of my teammates literally treated me like crap. They would snap at me in front of others, which was embarrassing. They would try to show me down in meetings. Send me nasty text messages, isolate me, cut me off if I had anything to say, etc etc. I was stunned. Two adult women, one possibly in her early 30s and the other a 50-something year old grandma and both were acting like the stereotypical high-school mean girls. Frankly speaking, I never encountered such ugliness in my high school days. I took the higher road with them multiple times; showing kindness when they were mean-spirited, showing patience and restraint when they least deserved it. There are some people who can be guilted and humbled by us taking a more nobler approach with them. These two ladies were not among those kind of people. There are other folks who require that you firmly put them in their place in order for them to take you seriously. I tried that as well; I had even told them off. And it only made them more vindictive. What made matters worse was that the two were “friends”. They were not sincere with each other but they had bonded over one common interest: their dislike toward me. One of them was somewhat in a position of authority over me as she was the director of my particular area of practice. Hence, I went to her with a pertinent question about the agenda and she abruptly cut me off. When I attempted the question again, she basically told me (in front of an audience) to leave and threatened to have me escorted out of her room. Whatever my flaws may be, I don’t speak to people like that. Needless to say, I felt very hurt. Her “friend” did the same thing a few months later. It came to a point where one day…without even raising my hands…I made a simple dua in my heart and I asked Allah for a khoobsurat insaaf before the professional term was over. It was not a regular dua I made, but it was certainly a heartfelt one.
What happened was that one of these two ladies was sacked…just 1 week before the conclusion of the professional term. I did not witness it but rumor has it that she was escorted out of the building mujrim-style, flanked on either side by 2 executive members from the admin team. This same bandi who only months ago had so arrogantly told me to get out…who had threatened to have me escorted…was now being escorted herself. It is said that her offense was that she had tampered with some assessment data. She was planning to find a job elsewhere and was actively applying to different locations. Perhaps she reasoned to herself that since she won’t be dealing with us in the future, she can do whatever she pleases without consequence.
The whole ordeal strengthened my faith in whatever goes around comes around. Allah might give us respite to reflect on our mistakes and mend our ways and we don’t, He will do His insaaf sooner or later. As the Prophet SAWS said …Beware the dua of the one who is wronged for there is no barrier between Allah and their dua. We should be mindful of what we say to others because our own words may come back to haunt us later down the road.
What makes you think they arent feeling guilty? Since you already mentioned there is no interaction.
You took the higher road, not everyone can. What if someone does something wrong, then? There is only so much one can take and sometimes such people dont get what they deserve in this world. Tu shareef banda maar khaata he.
What i meant was when someone treats you badly in the preseny just because that person knows there will be no contact in the future and when you make them realize how much attitude they hold and how much they are hurting others then they wont even feel guilty about it but instead show more akar.
Have faith. Their actions will come back to haunt them. About 3 years ago, someone had really hurt me…like really bad. Even their apology carried a note of condescension (and akar) and that’s what led me to feel that they truly didn’t grasp the gravity of their actions. In the past, I didn’t really make dua for justice but with this particular person I made an exception. I did pray…for several months…regularly. During that time there was no contact between me and them; it was radio silence. And justice took place a little over a year later when the said person found themselves confronted by the same hurt they inflicted me with. In other words, someone hurt them in the same way they hurt me. And I was even given the opportunity to remind the person of how the treated me and they responded with silence…and that’s okay. At that point, I think even they may have realized that there’s nothing left for them to say. Their takleef didn’t bring me happiness. Rather I remember feeling a sense of ofsos that they had continued making the same mistakes for so long before everything caught up with them.
It is more noble to forgive. If you can manage it, then more power to you. Allah knows how badly something has hurt us. He knows whether the offender is genuinely sorry or otherwise. Whether or not you’ll get to witness that justice is another matter. But have faith that Allah sees and knows. People who hurt others deliberately usually are not 100% content within themselves and maybe that in itself is part of their punishment. And if they are blind to their ways, then isn’t that also a punishment? That they lack the ability to reform themselves, which only increases them in their gum-raahi and troubles.
The damage has been done so I don’t think their guilt can make any difference. It’s better that they don’t have any interaction with you anymore. Such people should stay away.
Perhaps you are dealing with narcists. They don’t care about the feelings of other people either.
The 7 Things That Only Narcissists Will Do 7 Things That Only Narcissists Do | Psychology Today
Most people have a conscious and even when you don’t have interactions they do think about it and reflect on things.
I just had a recent incident where someone many years ago said some hurtful things. I decided to let go + move on and forgive them so I could come to peace with the situation.
Fortune had it that our paths crossed again.
Never once did I expect them to come back but they did and even sought forgiveness. They mentioned all this time they had this burden on them that was bothering them.
We had an exchange and I did forgive them again in person but I never realized the impact it had on them. After sometime I forgot but they never did.
Others don’t come back and that’s fine too. It’s a combination of ego, attitude and the humility of coming back and acknowledging the mistakes.
Your healing is not dependent on them. It’s a learning and growing process for yourself. Take your time and it’ll eventually be okay.