Parents should NEVER force their kids into marriage, thats why i never liked the idea of arranged marriage<
I think you should make a distinction between arranged and forced marriages. They are not one and same. :)
I’m glad your ‘proper’ culture taught you respect.
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*Originally posted by belle: *
I'm glad your 'proper' culture taught you respect.
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false assumption! who says that I'm not from the pind culture????? i only said that it sucked, without specifying whether I'm part of it or not!!!!
so, ur entire statement is invalid! because u r assuming that i live in another culture than the one being discussed at the moment. and this assumption is based on nothing.
Nesico, everything you just said was exactly my intent. There is a time and place for making bold statements and the one you made was quite harsh, I merely wanted to see if you would understand how generalized your comment was and and I’m glad you did.
Sabah baji
One doesn't need to watch dramas to understand how much security is provided to females in Pakistani society. Generally, the law has much more 'important' issues to worry about. :) Having said that, I've come across a couple of females who've tried to live about on their in pakistan for whatever reasons but couldn't due to the reasons i listed above. You came across someone who could, different people with different circumstances i suppose.
It’s not a normal situation for someone to be in. She would have been much better off staying single. But, to some extent I understand where her parents are coming from; they might have been worried that what would happen to her when they would pass away; the societal hassles, but a little of this would actually mean to the person herself. If she merely accepted this as a sacrifice to safeguard her parents’ honor, then she would live like a sheep for the rest of her life at the expense of her own happiness and will. I just hope that she finds peace in life.
One can live single for the rest of her/his life, and I know a distant aunt who didn’t get married to raise little kids of her deceased sister. But, it’s an awfully tough position for a woman -living in Pakistan- to be in. Even though, many of us would not compromise when it comes to choosing a life partner, but circumstances we live in are in a stark contrast of what happens back home. It’s a medieval evil system; built on false values and bogus reasons for respect.
I just don’t know; this kinds of stories just kept repeating; similar scenarios; different faces and victims. Not to side track this topic. Someone I knew, whose family members used to work on land and in houses( the muzaraas), was married off to a deaf and dumb guy from a well-to-do family since his parents couldn’t find anyone for him. He was at least twenty years older than her. All of a sudden, my mum told me recently that the girl had died. On further investigation, I found out that the girl was driven literally insane by the guy’s family within the first three years of marriage, even though she gave birth to couple of perfectly normal kids. While her condition deteriorated, she was denied medical access, and at the end, she died of high fever. There are confirmed reports of torture marks on her body. This girl used to come with her mother everyday to our house, and worked for us for many years. I just don’t why things are the way they are, or why there are people who never get to see fulfilling life. I don’t know even know what a prosperous life means to them. I am not sure if there would ever be an end to such practices.
well, first we have to agree on what a generalization is.
there are two types:
if the majority does something and u generalize that to the whole group, this can be a valid generalization. for example: if i say that ppl with lungcancer are probable to be smoking, it doesn’t mean that everyone with lungcancer smokes, yet my statement is still true. (this type of generalization i made in my first post)
the second type of generalization is when the minority does something and u generalize it to the whole group: this one is invalid.
if i say that lungcancer patients have had asbestos contact. this is untrue because only the minority has had it.
in conclusion: as far as my generalization is concerned, i don’t see anything wrong in it. (the fact that i agree that i was generalizing doesn’t mean that i disagree with it…on the contrary: i still think my generalization was very good :k: )