Ok so, having come across few recent threads & posts here regarding guys getting vanished, I wonder, what’s up with those guys/men? Why do they really have to lead girls on? I wonder that, if a guy can like a girl & especially be attractive enough to her to make love & get physical with her, then why cannot he marry that same girl? What really stops him? Or what does he think & expect when he vanishes from a girl? After hurting a girl emotionally, does he expect to live a peaceful & happy life himself? 
I wonder what’s fate of such guys/men. Actually, why do they have to play love games,etc? Why can’t they just find a girl & marry her?
Re: What's up with guys/men...
well let me tell you what i've observed about a few desi men that i've come across that are like that. They're weird but i think it's the way they were raised by their mothers(yes unfortunately the mothers seem to make a big difference in a guy's life). these guys see it as a game of seeming to look really genuine with their actions with these girls and then when they see that they've "taken over" sufficiently, they drop them. the girls are not human and don't have feelings that can be hurt of course....
the elders around them, men and women elders mind you, see it as "they're young guys they're supposed to act that way" kind of stereotypical desi cultural bull(apologies). i've tried to get them to stop but they're persistent, they're in their mid 20s and yet still act like kids not really seeing the girl as a human being, making her seem like a fool is i'm guessing the goal.
one guy even did the whole romeo and juliet type of thing with a girl, when she was on the 2nd floor and he was on the 1st, she looked down at him lovingly, if i didn't know these guys so well, for me looking from a distance at the scene it looked quite touching but how horrible do these men have to be to find great fun in making these girls look like fools. all i can think is that when they do find true love, an event would happen to them where they will get their heart broken and realize the value of caring and loving and hopefully see that what they did was so very wrong
Re: What’s up with guys/men…
Itney saaray question marks.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
well let me tell you what i've observe about a few desi men that i've come across that are like that. They're weird but i think it's the way they were raised by their mothers(yes unfortunately the mothers seem to make a big difference in a guy's life
Oh wait, looks like we have someone proper to blame for the antics the guy manages to achieve. Its them modaraays. :-)
Re: What’s up with guys/men…
the word antics makes it seem not as bad as what it really is(just like how the elders around them seem to see it(“
those silly guys” and leave it at that). these girls were raised with stories of romeo and juliet, the whole chivalrous guy thoughts and imagine the shock when they realize what these guys are really up to.
the fathers do influence as well but it’ the mothers that have the most influence on a boy when he’s growing up, how she teaches him to see women(hopefully with respect and chivalry) will be how he acts when he grows up. not all men are taught that and unfortunately when they act like these guys, they aren’t reprimanded even when they’re grown men by elders, it’s the girls’ fault for being naive and gullible(well it is but the men should grow the hell up too).
if i was older than them, they might have actually seen me as a sister and actually listened to what i had to say.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
Because the girl doesn't have half a brain to see she is being led on. Sorry girlies, but most of the time, this is true.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
it's the girls themselves are to be blamed for this....
they always choose mr wrong guy.
i have been there and done it as a good guy nothing worked out.
they totally made me into bad guy.that's were all the negeative emotions are programmed to attract a women.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
but how do the mr. wrongs become the idiots that see women in such a way though? if a guy was sufficiently led on by a woman and then dropped like a hot tater, is that the only way the men understand that you don't mess with a person's feelings?
little princess, i'm so so surprised you see it that way. so the men are not at fault in any way, shape or form?
Re: What's up with guys/men...
^ It takes two to tango, but boys are pretty idiotic when it comes to just about everything, and girls know that. So I really do expect more from girls when it comes to guys who reel them in, especially when most of the time they know they won't be getting anything from the relationship but still allow themselves to be reeled in.
Re: What’s up with guys/men…
DP(sorry i called you little princess)how is a woman supposed to know that the guy that’s wooing her is doing it just for kicks though unless another woman let’s her know the reputation of the guys that are like this? i’ve rarely seen women warning other women about them(am i the only woman that does this:hinna:feels bad for the soon to be duped woman and warns her)the red flags aren’t always apparent in the beginning when he is on his good behavior.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
Because the girl doesn't have half a brain to see she is being led on. Sorry girlies, but most of the time, this is true.
^ I actually agree with this. I know girls who're been hurt in situations like this and I also have guy friends who would be considered "players". The girls are just as much at fault as the guys in my opinion.
One thing girls need to understand and get it through their heads is that for a MAJORITY of men....sex does not equal love! Just b/c they're attracted enough to a girl to have sex with her....that doesn't mean they like her personality/values etc. to marry her. Men are more than capable of separating their emotions from sex. If a girl wants to have sex then that's another story. But if a girl sleeps with a guy with the expectation that he will marry her....that's when she gets hurt.
Girls also need to realize that many times....when they're dealing with young guys (let's say 25 and under)...most of these guys are not thinking marriage. And for the love of God girls need to stop meeting guys online, and get emotionally attached after a few weeks or a month or two....even though the parents have not met and nothing has been finalized. If a girl is not willing to date, and wants to meet a guy ONLY for the purpose of marriage.....then she should also immediately push for both sides of parents to get involved...........instead of spending MONTHS getting to know the guy and having the guy dissappear. Guys who're looking for a wife (and not a GF) will have no problem moving towards marriage, and getting family involved if they want to marry you.....instead of giving you BS excuses that you accept without questions.
Most guys like this don't "think" or "expect" anything when they vanish. They move on with their lives. And whether we like it or not.....yes, many of these guys go on and live a peaceful/happy lives. Women need to put their emotions aside and use their brains more often when it comes to these situations.
Re: What’s up with guys/men…
so to the women that think these girls are idiots, if you saw these girls(mostly high school/ college level) being wooed by a guy that you know is like how soni27 described, would you let her go through getting duped. i know women that actually let it happen o “they’re stupid, they’re this or that so let them get hurt…” type of thinking. i personally have a hard time doing that, it’s a flaw in me i guess…might be the reason why i can’t see these judgmental, arrogant women as friends ever urghthank the lord the two good ones i have as friends aren’t like this, for my sake
soni27 didn’t mention age of the men so who knows there might be guys that are in their 30s that still see women in this way. it’s not really age as much as how they are taught to see women or how they were molded into seeing them(because of bad experiences),I know men in their 50s that see nothing wrong with this kind of behavior…is age really the reason they act like this?
not saying all men are like this
Re: What's up with guys/men...
Well, you can't (shouldn't really) base your opinions on fake threads and scenarios. Most of the threads are geared towards discussion than an actual event in someone's life. And to base your view without hearing the both sides is pretty selfish and foolish. If you take note of the topics, you will find women trying to "neecha dikhaa" men (like this thread) and men trying to "neecha dikha" women. Its a sad situation, unfortunately.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
Many girls have this amazing habit of being in love with the idea of being in love, regardless of whether the guy is getting anything out of it or not. These are the ones that usually end up stranded etc. a little more awareness of reality will go a long way.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
jaan leva, but isn't this thread talking only about certain types of men though, thankfully most men aren't like this. so it isn't really neecha dikhaaing all men just the insane ones that play with emotions and see women in a certain way.
Re: What’s up with guys/men…
Have you ever tried telling a female that the man she’s in love with is a jerk who will break her heart? I have. Many times. And guess what? Not one single female I’ve said this to believed me. B/C according to them…the guy they’re with is “different” and “not one of those guys”. The only way they faced the truth is when reality slapped them in the face. I don’t know about you or anyone else but this is my personal experience.
I know Soni didn’t mention any specific age groups. But this happens A LOT with people who’re 25 and under. On the flip side, if I met a desi man who was great but 35 and older but single…it would also make me wonder why he’s single. Again…I’m not saying every single men in that category is a player…but when a girl meets a guy in that category, she should use her brain before giving away her heart.
As usual we women need to try to find a “reason” for THEIR behavior instead of looking into ourselves and see what WE can do to prevent this. I honestly don’t think this is as complicated as we make it seem. If a girl is ok with dating…then that’s her decision. However, if a girl is meeting a guy with the sole purpose of marriage…then instead of waiting for MONTHS…she needs insist on getting the parents involved immediately. And she should also not have their entire lives planned out UNTIL he (and both families) actually officially says “yes” to the rishta. Oh…and for a girl who’s this strict about her values (ie. no casual dating)…then she should also control her own hormones until the nikah papers are signed.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
I completely agree with Paheli. Girls should clarify their aims for the relationship. Is it dating or marriage? If they are looking to get married, they should see whether the guy is in the position to get married, does he have stable career, is he/ his family currently looking for marriage, does he have any sisters whom he wants to marry off before he marries, does he have any goals in immediate future which might prevent him to get married, is he already engaged to one of her 'cousins' etc. Girls should be smart enough to identify the players from guys seriously looking for marriage.
Problem usually arises when girls have marriage in mind and guys are only looking to spend good time with the girl through dating. Some guys take it slow and start the dating and are open to marriage if things continue to be good with the girl but girls usually don't have patience to wait for long when they are unsure whether this dating will end in marriage or not.
If there is no commitment from guy for marriage, the girl should also keep on looking for other options and shouldn't emotionally invest herself in the guy who is unable to commit to her. Girls are capable of doing this if they are clear about their aims and they guy's aims.
Re: What's up with guys/men...
Have you ever tried telling a female that the man she's in love with is a jerk who will break her heart? I have. Many times. And guess what? Not one single female I've said this to believed me. B/C according to them....the guy they're with is "different" and "not one of those guys". The only way they faced the truth is when reality slapped them in the face. I don't know about you or anyone else but this is my personal experience.
urgh, my friend that isn't exactly a close close friend anymore :D was in love with one of these jokers, i told her but she actually thought i was trying to get him for myself b/c he was giving "attention" to me that got her a bit angry so she said some not so nice things out of jealousy or idiocy(don't know which) to me especially since she's still in love after i warned her. she isn't very educated so i don't hate her, she still needs maturing, i just distanced myself from her for a bit b/c of her temporary arrogance, hopefully she'll learn from her mistakes, i see it as the fault of both sides but i don't think all women are like her
unfortunately there are women like the ones you described here, those are the ones i 'm still trying to understand :(
Re: What's up with guys/men...
A jealous woman is a dangerous woman... nothing can help her. :(
Re: What's up with guys/men...
just like you dumped your guy pinky........... same thing..