I’ve seen of this one rism where the brides friends/sisters ask the guy for money. How does this rism work and how much money does the guy have to give
Re: What's this rism called...
Dhoodh pilai or joota churai. Where the groom either sips a glass of milk or has his shoes stolen. My family's average has been 50K PKR but for other families it varies obviously.
Re: What's this rism called...
There are two rasms I can think of that do that. One is the Joota Chupai, and the other is Doodh Pilai.
In doodh pilai the groom is allowed a sip of sweetend milk, and then the bride drinks milk from the same cup. Then the groom is supposed to pay the girls certain amount of money. It's not supposed to be an exorbitant amount of money, but something that can be split up evenly between the sisters/friends/cousins/bhabis/whoever is doing the rasam.
I've seen joota chupai rasams done at various points in the wedding. One way is towards the end of the wedding, when the barat is supposed to leave, so you kinda steal the groom's shoes so he can't leave. Again he has to pay money so he can get his shoes back and take his bride with him :)
Re: What's this rism called...
Can you give a little more context about the rasam you are asking about? In addition to the joota chupai and doodh pillai rasams, there's:
Ungli rasam on Mehndi days: Bride's sister grabs the groom's finger on the mehndi day and wraps it in mehndi. The groom wants to get his finger out before the color is dark. She refuses to let go until he gives some specific sum of money. They negotiate. He is eventually released. The money is shared amongst the bride's sisters and female cousins.
Darwaza Rookna: The bride's side stops the barat upon arrival to the shadi. They negotiate an entrance fee that is eventually split amongst the bride's siblings/cousins.
The groom's side gets in on the action after the ruksati when the bride is allowed to enter the home/bridal suite, but the groom is blocked until he pays up. That total is split between the groom's siblings/cousins.
These days, for all of these, there are pre-negotiated totals and it should just be for fun, if all parties want to participate. Best to drop it if people are getting sensitive/upset.
What's this rism called...
For our family we usually prep cousins to what the max amount is. That is if we know the amount, usually we do. Asking starts at a ridiculously high number for jokes but goes down significantly. One time one of my cousins FIL started screaming at all the cousins because their family had none of those rasams and we were doing all of them. We had asked on Mehndi day as well as did the juta chupai. Things got super awkward super fast so everyone backed off. That's when the pre determined amounts started lol.
Re: What’s this rism called…
here is that one rasm called ungli pakrai