Ok, supposing you go to a dawat and food is served in your plate, in specific portions , rather then food being placed in the center of the table in bowls so that you can serve yourself ..
The food in your plate is something you dont like eating, what would you do? eat it still? leave it and make an excuse? eat some of it and leave the rest ? let the host know you dislike the particular food and hence wont be finishing it?
Re: whats the etiquette ?
I don’t think this happens in our desi culture…putting everything together in one plate and serving to guests.
Even for Indian cuisine, they have different dishes in seperate bowls so you can choose what you want to eat and leave the rest untouched so it can be used later.
BUT if this is a hypothetical situation, then I’ll just leave it and make an excuse. Though I’d feel really bad because I never leave anything in my plate. I finish everything I put in. But then I don’t think I can eat red meat at any cost so will just make an excuse.
Re: whats the etiquette ?
are you talking about THALI servings, CB? i think you may tell your host that you are NOT very hungry so you would want to take food in your plate yourself. simple! 
Re: whats the etiquette ?
If you are served a “plated” meal (which is common at American (non desi) weddings/dinner parties, and there is something you can’t/won’t eat, then I would not eat it. If the host notices, it would be a polite gesture for them to ask and accommodate you if they can. But I don’t think I would speak up and ask for something else or point out that I don’t like what was served.
Re: whats the etiquette ?
nope , this is not a desi dawat … an Arabic friend of mine has invited three families , we will be seated at the dining table and she will be serving us 20 course meal ..
Last time she did this was awesome , only trouble was alot of the food that was served went wasted and alot of things were left untouched in people’s plates .. Generally with a 20 course meal serving, food is served with host in individual plates .. guests are sat on the table while the host goes around the table serving a set amount of food in each plate ..the servings are small in size .. for example, they will serve caviar bites , two per person .. then wait for 6-8 minutes and come back and serve the next course and so on ..
the plates dont change , so the food that one is not eating is left in the plate .. also its not a good deal to be asking for more of a serving since the host might have only made people specific items .. and you dont wanna break the round tempo ..
Generally its done in high profile restaurants and its expensive coz the menu is chosen carefully and is alot of hard work .. She is a great cook .. just my concern of the food wastage .. since this is a home dawat and not a restaurant, I thought there might be a way to reach out with a possible "no thank you " to a certain serving so it doesnt get wasted ..
Re: whats the etiquette ?
and not to forget, the only way I know to deal with this situation is by trying to know the menu ahead of time .. so you can refuse a serving politely .. but then the challenge was when you dont like something while eating it ! I was served Squid , at the time I asked the menu she had mentioned it but I didnt get it , coz she said it in Arabic ! and when I got it in my plate , it didnt look like squid ,it looked delish , the minute I tasted it , I wanted to spit it out but instead gulped it down and felt nauseated coz i dislike sea food except caviar ..
so my solution didnt really help my case !!
Re: whats the etiquette ?
I would politely refuse and them know I did not like certain things . Everybody in this world does not or does like certain foods so they should understand.
Re: whats the etiquette ?
we do this often when we are doing a very formal dinner (just so i can use my silver servers!)… if i serve something on the plated meal that someone doesnt like.. i say it in advance.. they are more than welcome to spoon off that certain item into a plastic bowl … that i keep by the table. in a posh restaurant u would let it go to waste… at home.. cmon.. im not the queen.. (yet).
and this is what i do at someone elses home too.. put the untouched item into a sep plate that the host can either put back into the main pot.. or whatever they please.
so try that maybe?
Re: whats the etiquette ?
Khawa, I love the idea .. didnt think of it , but such a simple yet awesome solution … Definitely worth a try and will let her know as well .. a stylish platter can be left in the middle of the table 
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I went to Iftar party of Bangladeshi friend. She had already made the plates for the small gathering of we 5 or 6 ladies. It was haleem in a bowl. Fruits in plate, patties, kabab and 2 more things now I have forgotten. I only eat selected fruits so I just could not help finishing that. Then haleem was in so much amount that it was impossible for me to finish. I tried finishing other things but at then end food was wasted. In my opinion serving a platter is not good option as people have their own choices of eating. A person like me who is very rigid in tastes cannot accommodate in this situation whatever the case may be.
I have Malaysian friends also and if they start doing this platter thing, i guess my plate would be mostly untouched as I dont like Malaysian food at all. The coconut milk they use, the spices all is so much against my taste buds
Re: whats the etiquette ?
What an awesome friend! I would ask in advance that my portion for seafood not be prepared so the cost of purchasing and time spent in preparation is avoided. However, I would also make sure the host does not feel obligated to make substitutions for you. Everything else I would eat out of gratitude even if it didn’t suit my particular palate. If one feels that many of the dishes would not suit one’s palate then the best thing to do is to decline this type of invite because it requires an enormous amount of planning and labor. This is clearly a labor of love on the part of the host. The host is eager to treat his/her guests and it is hard to not be disappointed when a dish is returned.
Re: whats the etiquette ?
either a platter in the middle where everyone can spoon off what they cannot consume or simply slide the portion to your bread plate.
Re: whats the etiquette ?
I think it’s wasteful. I’d decline right at the point when the host is serving the portion/course. Sliding the food portion into a communal plate after it was in my own plate, likely means the food will likely go to waste.
Allergies are an issue for people and for those with severe allergies, they can’t even risk cross-contamination. Any good host would ask their guest before serving them, out of respect for their guest’s dietary concerns. Personally, I’d ask the host what the food item was and then either accept or decline.
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20 course meal and that too serve!!! kudos to the host!
I cant picture myself doing a common platter.. once it has touched someon’s plate, I wont want it.. even if it was a new plate! you just never know about utensils, hand touching, just not my thing!
with such an elaborate event, how about she prepares a menu as well and then “take orders”? as in people can check what they will like to eat.. also, if anyone isl ike me, I would rather have couple of things to my hearts content than taste everything.. I need to enjoy food 
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man… 20 course. i bet she has a restuarant or something… or desire to own one
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20 course meal…wow..!!..
Is it possible that when the hostess/server is serving it they tell the guest what it is,and they can either take it or decline it if they are not too fond of it…I am not sure if this is the etiquette for such a dinner event,but seems that food wastage would be minimal this way.Whatever would be left,would be in the serving dish and untouched and can be used later..!!!
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Come on it is harmless exaggeration like saying i walked a million miles to meet u
Re: whats the etiquette ?
yeah Great Idea 
Usually I do Like This and that help us to dont waste the untouched food …
Re: whats the etiquette ?
Yes I agree with this contamination and food hygiene issue ..
Perhaps the host can be requested to place the food in the quarter plates , the guests can then place the food in their dinner plates and eat it .. that way, the food remaining in the quarter plate remains untouched .. 
Re: whats the etiquette ?
20 course meal is fun and quite entertaining actually .. its a very different experience from the regular dawat system ..
I have done a 12 course cuisine four times , blundered big time in the first time I did it .. but the rest of the three times has been fun ..
The work load wasnt more then the usual dawat prep.. coz in the usual dawat i have to work hard on managing and handling large amounts of each dish ( I like to have a varied menu so its a lot of hard work anyways ) .. infact I found it much easier to handle smaller servings and numbered servings of each item ..
also depends on the menu you choose .. and your ability to multitask.
The most exciting 12 course meal that I have organized till date was the one with themed course round .. for example fish course ( bite sized servings of three items each with various kinds of fish as an ingredient ) , cinammon course ( two different small size items prepared differently but each one cinammon flavoured )
This friend last time, organized the Arabic, French and English mixed food theme and it was awesome