Been burned two out of two times already. Shame on me.
Now we know why beloved Cheegum wasnt showing up..
Thats why Aala Hazrat Snoop Dog has said, smoke weed everyday! Need one bro?
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https://i.imgflip.com/2eqlwm.jpg
Best decision I made was to stop using these useless matrimonial apps…
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Sorry to hear it Cheegum. I am sure there are plenty out there who are sincere, you just have to sift through the riff raff before you get to them. The reason being when these apps were new, only a select few sincere people got on there. Now there is everybody, from non serious, to just looking for friends, to attention seekers.
With the online dating, one thing I keep hearing from people who found someone from there was to not base it on someone having good pictures, look for people who put an effort in writing their bio, or heck even give someone a chance whose profile is subpar because in person they might surprise you and turn out to be completely different than how you judged them.
You should try the in person matrimonial events if you haven’t already.
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I’m sorry to hear that. There’s tons of neat people you can meet in person, esp where you are. Harder to cheat when you see them often and develop an actual in-person, real-time relationship.
All the best 
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Woah! I would’ve never thought you would say that. I remember in some of the older threads you’d always mention how effective the apps were. What happened? If, you don’t mind sharing. One of my close friends recently tried muzmatch and minder and had a bad experience. I tried warning her. She’s looking into in-person events now. She said most people ghost, don’t reply and she really wanted to invest in getting to know the person, deep conversations, in-person meetings which never surfaced. However, she only did it for 2-3 months then gave up.
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These hoes ain’t loyal. Welcome to the blackpill, buddy.
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Arey bhai chingum babu, bollywood ke syane kehgae, ‘Apne hi girate hen nasheman pe bijliyan’
It may be too late now but you have to pick one argument of the two:
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I saw a statistic about Tinder matches sometime back that the bottom 80% of men are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men. Clearly the situation is too unrealistic which I feel creates a false sense of value among women and top 20% of men. We try to ?do better? than what we?ve got and the world of online dating only worsens the situation, even for well-intentioned people.
A lady acquaintance of mine met this out-of-town guy online, basic information was exchanged and then the guy was to meet her and her family. The plan was for him to fly-in, spend couple of hrs in town and then depart. The lady started having doubts and kept delaying/ignoring until the ticket prices were three times their regular. The guy was frustrated but stayed put. Eventually, they met in presence of some friends and family. She gave him tough time. Told him how she will make sure that her future husband helps in cooking and cleaning. Told him how she won?t tolerate interference from in-laws and won?t take abuse. The guy clearly didn?t deserve such straight talk in first meeting for which he had spent around $800/=. Things rapidly went downhill from that point on and her motivation at the time was that she knew ten guys with similar jobs ready to visit her from the same city. None of them did and it has been 5 years since. I think the real skill is to stop with good enough and keep the urge to ?do better? in check.
Initially when these apps were new, the initial population of users were taking them seriously. And they were honestly a good way to meet muslims around you.
However, things have changed…These apps are easily just used for attention seeking and trying to gain more followers, hooking up, flirting, time wasting, etc. You may have the occasional few “good experiences” but those are few and far between. Its a combination of several external influences (even monetary business influence from the apps creators) that its better to stop using them for your own sanity, and to follow that up..in a more broader sense. You should stop using social media as well (facebook, instagram, twitter, etc) unless its purely for business purposes.
What @decentGuy says rings true in many ways. That lady acquaintance… I’ve seen that movie like 20x at this point.
Meet Girl A, Girl A thinks super highly of her self cause look at all the guys I’ve connected with and are giving me attention. Girl A keeps her standards high (cause she’s a “queen”) while eliminating probably 90% of the rest of the Male Populace. Quickly realize that most of those guys aren’t their to give her the commitment she desires for a variety of reasons. All this time as she is getting older…and her “social value” is dropping the older she gets. Cause guess what…in desi culture you also have to get passed the desi auntie gustapo and if you’re older than 29/30… good luck.
Than when she’s 30 (or on the path to 30) she drops most of her standards cause the attention from all the “good guys” has almost vanished…Most of the guys that are connecting with her now, are green card snipers, divorces, old guys, guys who want second wives, etc.
Those top 20% of guys know their value, they know how many women are going after them so why commit when you can have your fun and have the pick of the litter…? Maybe go back to pak and get that virgin waifu amirite?
Of course what i say is a gross generalization…but their is some major truth to it.
The best way to meet someone is through acquaintances and friends/family. That way people can vouch for them…but for the most part you know they don’t have countless other guys/girls message them behind your back. You can roll the dice with these online matrimonial websites…but that’s all it should be. A tool that ‘might’ lead to something. Any one you meet and talk to on their is only temporary unless otherwise disproved by them.
Oh don’t get me started on girl hunting and websites. This past year has been very eye opening
Woah, so enlightening. I was always in favour of finding people through friends/acquaintances/family. Most successful marriages I’ve seen have happened this way or finding someone through school/msa.
Thanks for sharing. I wish you well in your search! I agree with almost everything except the social media part. I’m not big with FB, insta, etc but wouldn’t leave it all together. After you’re done school its hard to stay connected with friends, because people are busy with work, family, etc and there’s not many opportunities to connect. At least with insta, snapchat, etc you can see your friends’ updates and can send a quick note to them.
Also, seen a couple younger guy - older girl marriage in the past couple of months. Things in the desi communtiy are changing! So what Allah has planned for us will happen. We just have to do our part in being honest, true to ourselves and the other person and continue to improve and work on ourselves to be the best version. What we put out always comes back to us in some shape or form.
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Thank you for the well wishes…Regarding social media I should be a little more clearer…I guess everything in moderation and all that. I’m more talking about those people who are addicted to it. They are constantly checking it… Like they are literally checking their phones 24/7 to get their next dopamine hit from all the likes they are getting for that selfie they just posted. Those people who have to check twitter and Instagram cause if they don’t the world will end. I just decided personally to keep facebook, just to stay in touch with family. But I make it a point to check it very rarely. I noticed myself checking Instagram for the memes but realized that I was forming a bad habit/reliance on using my phone constantly.
In regards to the younger guy, older girl marriages…my personal experience with that has been rare. I only know 1 person in my social circle that married an older girl. But that whole situation was kind of unique cause she was also white and converted to Islam. Of course we have the prophet as an example, It seems its increasingly happening more…but I don’t think it will be mainstream.
True
it’s called “the wall” in the manosphere, a lot of women are oblvious of it until it hits them. The marriage market is like any other commodity market, you got to cash in when your value is high or you’re just gonna end up like blockbuster when something newier and shinier comes along.
Not easy to find loyalty nowadays. Better look in real life, rather than online.
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Is that how you lost your hair?
I’m really sorry to hear this Cheegs. You’re such a lovely guy, and I pray you find your happy ending asap iA 
don’t give up.
Hey, now a days it’s very hard to find out someone real (genuine). Because you exactly don’t know what’s on others mind. There need someone who can read human mind. But this is quiet impossible though. Anyways, I have heard about online dating websites. Some of them have real, cute and pretty women. Who is interested in long term relationship and will not cheat with you I think.
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so i think it depends on luck. You can meet someone through mutual friends, online, or through family, and there will always be a chance that they will cheat on you. I met my fiance through muzmatch, and we talked for a while, and then decided parents can meet now, and everything turns out well.
My friend recently got married, and they met via single muslims, and after 3 years they just got married.
They can’t cheat on you if you cheat on them first 