What's the best way to get a man...........

[psyah]

Re: What’s the best way to get a man…

@GlobalGal

^i really don’t see why you’ve put nice in quotes. nobody stuffed anything in my head, i’m an adult and it was information that should have been told to me right in the beginning but it wasn’t

this was something that happened before the wedding, it was something he and family should have disclosed to me and my family but they hid it and a couple of his uncles have this disorder. Is it fair to me?

if my family had something like this in our family, i would disclose it to somebody i will marry right in the beginning because that would affect him too b4 any emotional attachment happened. and they acted like it was nothing to worry about even if one or two of the children of these uncles have it too.

my family is nice and it was something that i would have wanted to know about and not find out on the wedding day when all his uncles came. this is a superficial world and it’s ultimately my and his future children that would suffer.

why hide it? and now that i asked him to get checked out, he’s making me go through all this hell emotionally. is the torture really necessary when all i was thinking of was our future?

Peace GlobalGal

I put nice in quotes, because I quoted you. According to your husband they are not nice. I was trying to portray the story from the perspective of your husband and that is essentially the key to your problem. You need to know what makes him tick.

Just because you would have told them that such a thing in your family exists, it does not mean others share the same values. They may think it is purely God’s doing and nothing to do with genetics, in which case they will find no need to tell you anything, because in their mind they are not hiding anything.

You need to view people with their own instruments of measurement, you cannot possibly use your standards on others. It seems however that the ‘principles’ you and your friends have are shared, which is why you have clicked with them. However, you have either not tried to understand the other perspective or have dismissed it. There is no reason to force your husband to do this. But if you can get him to realise that just as he holds certain things dear you too hold certain things dear and that you should meet both ways.

As I said before he probably does not want to lose you over a potential risk, if it was a certainty then that is something else. But these things are never certain; Who is to say that he will not sire the next genius this world or the next world record breaking athelete?

If you realise this then your problems will go away. Also, there is nothing wrong with good ‘du’a’ (supplication) for your children to be healthy and intelligent and this is prayer of every prospective mother, surely.