The way something sensitive like this has to be handled in a sensitive manner. hindsight is 20-20 but for other people reading if some discussion of that sort has to take place, it has to be between the spouses, and it has to be done in a manner where you are saying look this may be a factor we have to deal with, let us just see what the risks are for our future kids so we are mentally prepared if there are certain risks and what we can do etc, and if there is no or minimal risk then we dont worry about it.
other people should not get involved, and some may say hey we felt we were close enough as friends and really had your best interest at mind, and we are sorry if we overstepped boundaries, that was not the intent. it would be easy for us to not bring it up and let it be, but we took the risk of touching a tough subject because we care for you as a friend etc.
If I heard something like that, that would probably be enough for me to let any ill feelings just go away. gestures may not do enough, a heart to heart in person or in writing is probably needed.
what you should however be ready for is that someone may not just budge, and then u just have to accept that