What would you say?

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

Assume:

You have a sister, she is married to your first cousin. They have 2 childrens and one on the way. For some odd reason, her husband divorces her. Now the whole family is trying to patch up of course and asks your sister whether she wanna re-marry her husband. Husband has already given 1 divorce before, and now he said it 3 times. But even if you consider the 3 times as only one, he still has given the wife 2 divorces in total so they will need to do a new nikkah (right?) .. Your sister refuses and doesnt wanna hear anything abt going back to him. She refuses to everyone who asks her. She even files for divorce and gets it in papers as well. (goverment bla bla)

Lets forward 6-8 yrs ahead

You are no longer on talking terms with your sister. You have some personal issues and therefor you do not hang out anymore, although u talk to each other when meeting at your brothers home or something alike. You are at the mall and there you see your sister shopping with her ex-husband. When you approach her she says “we have kids together” .. You dont see anything wrong with the kids meeting their father of course (all kids are grown up eldest is 20 yrs), but what about the sister shopping with her exhub?

You’ve also heard from valid sources that your sister has invited the exhusband and his new wife for dinner at home. What do you think about that from an islamic perspective?

This is a real situation happening in my friends family. Her mother has suggested nikkah to the sister, but the sister refuses to do a nikkah. Friends mother finds this to be very wrong islamic speaking.

Please share your views.

Dont quote. I wanna be able to delete it. Thank you

2

Re: What would you say?

alright..all these people who are suggesting the nikah to the same man who divorced her are completely wrong! She can't remarry the same man unless there's a halala, which means, she has to marry someone and IF she is divorced by that someone, only then she can remarry the first ex-husband. Tajdeed e nikah happens when husband gives two talaqs, and not all three. Someone with better knowledge can correct me or shed some more light on this.

As for as she hanging out with her ex is beyond me. In my opinion, it is wrong evenif they have kids together. But, she's a grown woman, and understands the rights and wrongs. So, I think her family should say something to her once, and leave her alone after that. Constant bickering will just sour their relationship with her even more.

3

You are right. Its what has been suggested to her too.. I forgot to mention the halala part.

Timepass- December 2012
Timepass- December 2012
Timepass- December 2012
4

personally speaking i dont find anything wrong with her meeting her ex once in a while. I think if the girl and ex-husband have a good relationship, it will be advantageous for their children. Also if the ex husbands new wife seems to be fine with it why are people complaining.

Islamically speaking her ex is not a maharam, but as long as she observes hajab i think it is okay as they would need to discuss things about the children.

5

The family doesnt object to that either .. they are more concerned about the mingling with exhusband outside home and as you said --> "Islamically speaking her ex is not a maharam"

6

Re: What would you say?

I would say it depends on the environment they are meeting under, her intentions and how religious a person. Truthfully in Islam intermixing of opposite genders is wrong and forbidden. They will always be linked together because they have children together. The girl should not mix with her ex more than necessary. The necessity would be the children like birthdays, illnesses, parents evenings, events etc. other then this meeting her ex as her best buddy does not seem right. You see it is tough balance if she showed animosity towards her ex the kids will be effected and ppl will say she is bad, but if she is overly friendly ppl talk. I think she needs to find the right balance.

7

Sister, in total if iam not wrong i should say he said talaaq 4 times ... he has crossed limits. Since he mocked the ayath of Allah(SAT)

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229: A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.

The correct way to pronounce divorce in Islam, as taught in the Holy Quran, is tht a prson gives one-divorce to his wife and they ‘stay-away’ from each other fr three menses periods. If before the three menses periods are over, the husband and the wife decide to live together , then the divorce is cancelled and they remain as a married couple.

But if the three menses period duration passes, and the couple do not come together, then the husband and wife are divorced. If they want to re-marry after this period, a new ‘nikaah’ needs to be done for them to be husband and wife again..... .but the husband has used up one of his three divorce rights, n has only two more divorce rights left in this marriage.

The divorce and re-marriage can only be done twice....and da third time the husband pronounces da divorce, then it will be considered a final and irrevocable divorce and the couple cannot remarry; unless da woman marries someone else, and that husband divorces her or dies.

Thus, in Islam, one need not use all da three divorce pronunciations to divorce his wife..... Only one divorce pronunciation is enough to obtain divorce and it also leaves the option of the couple being re-married again in the future, if they change their minds.

Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.4
Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab that Marwan ibn al-Hakam decided that if someone made three pronouncements of divorce, he had divorced his wife irrevocably.

Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.1 The 'Irrevocable' Divorce.
Yahya related to me from Malik that he had heard that a man said to Abdullah ibn Abbas (r.a.), "I have divorced my wife by saying ‘I divorce you’ a hundred times. What do you think my situation is?" Ibn Abbas (r.a.) said to him, "She was divorced from you by three pronouncements, and by the ninety-seven, you have mocked the ayat of Allah."

But if a person declares all da three divorce pronunciations in one sitting, da opinion of almost all the scholars and the Shariah Courts in almost all the Islamic countries worldwide, is tht it will be counted as a final n irrevocable divorce. Thereafter, da couple cannot remarry, unless the woman marries someone else and tht husband dies, or if by his own free will, divorces her.

Timepass- December 2012