Couldn't it be that the scan shows that he is sterile now but has not been all his life before. I still think the only sure way to know the children are not his would be through a paternity test. Because there are so many instances where the docs say u can't have kids but somehow u still have them. So it would be stupid in this case, based on just this report, that his wife cheated. And seriously, having three kids out of wedlock and the husband or anyone else not having a clue? And the wife also being brazen enough to continue getting pregnant thrice. A lot of ifs and buts I would say.
I have seen instances where either of sexes would cheat on their spouses. It is fact. However, very unfortunate and sad. But i would let my friend know if his/her spouse is cheating. And of course with evidence. I am not sort of person...to reveal something..unless i have seen it with my own eyes. And i am especially very careful about these stuff..because this involve marriage. But yes..i would let my friend know with evidence.
I think if it was my BFF then I would tell her, and if it was someone else I'm not close with then I would still tell my BFF but not her (cuz this is too big not to tell anyone at all!)
The man can't have biological children even through IVF? Or does the other friend know for a fact that the man's wife conceived all 3 children without any medical intervention?
It's a congenital condition and he cannot have children with ivf or any other medical intervention.
^ Loads of people have stated that they'd want to be told if their significant other was cheating and that you should tell your friend for this reason. However, I do not think it is that simple.
An important factor to consider is whether or not this woman would actually want to know that her husband is cheating. Personally, I would want to know if my spouse was cheating but not everyone feels this way. Contrary to popular belief, not all women would want to know if their husband was cheating. Some women hold the belief that ignorance is bliss in regards to infidelity. This attitude was more common in past generations but there are still women who hold this view today. Based on what you know of this woman, would she want to know that her husband is cheating on her? If so, you should tell her what you know. If not, you should keep it to yourself (or speak to the husband privately about it if you feel terribly inclined to intervene).
I wouldn't tell. Why? Because how would I prove what I am saying is true. If I knew the person who is guilty I would try to talk some sense into them. Other then that I would just leave it. In today's world, you can't hide these things for too long, so sooner or later his wife would find out eventually.
If this is a real scenario involving someone you know, you need to get proof before saying anything. It's happened where things like this change the dynamic of friendships and you may also want to be prepared for that. Without proof it may not be a good idea to say anything. If you know she is the type of person who would want to know then do what you need to do. If not then stay quiet or at least talk to the husband that you know.
My point was, how can you be sure that the other person will want the same thing.
I never said that I was sure that the other person wants the same thing. If I knew what the other person wanted in a situation like this (or any other), then I would just respect their wishes. But in ANY situation where I'm not sure, that's when I treat others the way I'd want to be treated.
There isn't a perfect answer to this. At the end of the day, if we don't know for a fact whether or not the other person would want to know......then we need to do what we feel is the right decision in our own minds. And another factor I brought up in another thread....the threat of STD/HIV in cases like this. There is no way I can have this information & continue talking/hanging out w/ the innocent spouse & act like nothing is wrong.
It's a congenital condition and he cannot have children with ivf or any other medical intervention.
Ok but does the other friend know for a fact that the man's wife conceived all 3 children w/o any medical intervention? In IVF, the sperm doesn't have to come from the husband specifically. Idea might be shocking but its not unheard of. There are couples that will go to GREAT lengths to have children if one of them is unable to have one biologically. In addition to the desire to have children, in desi culture everyone also asks tons of questions if there are no children in a marriage. There are couples that think its better to have a child that partly biological (ie. at the least the child is biologically the wife's) versus adopting a child that's not related to the couple at all. And by having the wife pregnant, no one would question the child's origin. However, if the wife herself doesn't go through a pregnancy & a child is adopted, desis have a tendency to be insensitive/nosy with their comments...even towards the child. Again.....not a common occurrence in desi culture, but it's definitely possible.
If 1 friend is going to accuse this man's wife of cheating and indirectly pointing fingers at his children.....then he better be darn sure that the man himself is not already aware of his congenital condition & chose another route to have those children while keeping it a secret from everyone else. B/C if this is the case, confronting the man would cause him great embarrassment & may also have a very negative effect on the friendship.
If the friend that discovered that is a doctor or other medical professional, then he needs to also consider the legal/ethical implications of this b/c you wrote that the test was done for something else.....the businessman never consented to the test for purposes of searching/finding info. about this condition. I assume this is not a life threatening condition & there is not medical necessity to share it. What if the friend had seen the same information on the test report of a random patient? Would he still consider sharing that information that another random man who is not his friend?
Bottom line: We know that the 3 children is not biologically related to the man. But so far there is no actual proof that the man himself is NOT aware of that fact.
Invite the couple over. During a casual discussion, pose the question to the couple.
Later, at another time you should talk to the friend who is cheating.
If he doesn't change his behavior, either inform the wife or distance yourself from that person.
I would definitely let the others be happy in their ignorance. Life is short. People make mistakes. For me, it would be the most selfish thing to let a friend know about such a situation. Someone's happiness is far more important than the victory of my righteousness.
If it happens to me, I would definitely try to find fault in me first. I would try to understand where I have gone wrong. I will try to forget and will forgive.
I would definitely let the others be happy in their ignorance. Life is short. People make mistakes. For me, it would be the most selfish thing to let a friend know about such a situation. Someone's happiness is far more important than the victory of my righteousness.
If it happens to me, I would definitely try to find fault in me first. I would try to understand where I have gone wrong. I will try to forget and will forgive.