What would you do if someone contacts you out of nowhere and says that they know things about your spouse’s past that you were not aware of (multiple affairs, sexual partners etc). Or, even worse, that they are having an intimate relationship with your spouse?
Your spouse swears up and down that there is no truth to this and you trust and believe them; however, does that little bit of doubt remain? Can it ever be erased once it happens?
Re: What would you do
I'd be stupid to believe someone unless they had absolute proof to support their allegations.
Re: What would you do
I'd like to say oooh noways my hubby wouldn't ever do such a thing! nauh that lying scumbag needsta get out right now. But it's never that black and white is it? These things don't just RANDOMLY pop up. They're stemming from somewhere, and you'd be a fool to act ignorant, not to say that you'd fully believe the rumours but you should be a lot more aware of what and why?
The doubts are never erased once they are implemented. At the end of the day, who can you completely trust? hmhmhmhmhmmm? O_o
Re: What would you do
What would you do if someone contacts you out of nowhere and says that they know things about your spouse's past that you were not aware of (multiple affairs, sexual partners etc). Or, even worse, that they are having an intimate relationship with your spouse?
Your spouse swears up and down that there is no truth to this and you trust and believe them; however, does that little bit of doubt remain? Can it ever be erased once it happens?
It depends on the way your spouse swears up and down.
Re: What would you do
What happened in the past is in the past..... I wouldn't be bothered about it.
Re: What would you do
as long as it's a past i don't care .. but yea i would be kinda mad about the fact they didn't tell me b4 .. but as long as it's not in present and was a past .. i'm cool with that ... ANd Plus ..if somone called first of all i wouldn't belive it at all ... i don't belive anythin without proof.
Re: What would you do
If its in the past, I dont think I would get upset about it.
If its still happening...we have a problem.
But before that...I need proof. There are plenty of women out there wanting to wreck perfectly good homes and marriages so dont fall prey to one of them. You need solid proof before you believe them.
As for the lingering doubt...why do you have it? Do you secretly suspect its true?
Re: What would you do
Past is past, true. But if I were lied to, I wouldn't like that. If it was just not brought out in the open, that makes more sense - but would still not make me happy. Because the best predictor of your future, is your past.
Trust your instincts there, mangostrawberry. Because it might just be a can of worms that you may not be able to handle; be it actual information or misguided mistrust in your spouse. On the other hand though, don't be too naive to what is going on around you. Begin with your relationship with your spouse and the trust that you may or may not feel in him.
Re: What would you do
As Reha mentioned, if its the past, then I won't care about it. But then again in my case, my SO has already been brutally honest with me about his past. So there's not much anyone else can tell me (especially another woman) about his past that I don't already know about. This is the way I see it: If you care about the past, then you should've asked about it before the wedding. But if you did not inquire about his past and now you find out, then you should not be bothered by it.
However, IF you did ask him before marriage and now you find out that the answers he gave you were lies....then that's a totally different issue. If I found out that he LIED to me about his past...then I would be furious.
As for someone telling me that they're currently having an affair with my spouse.....I will not believe them without hardcore proof. You need to ask yourself WHY is the person telling you the information. What do they have to gain by telling you. I will not allow another person's mere words to ruin my relationship/marriage. I need undeniable proof that something inappropriate happened...otherwise it's all just B.S. to me.
Bottom line: PROOF! Not just a simple case of someone telling you what he may have done in the past or what he may be doing right now. Demand proof (e-mails, letters, text messages, voicemails, pictures, other people who can verify this person's story etc) of their allegations. After all, how would you like it if someone contacted your husband and told him about things you did without any proof....and your husband believed them?