I was talking to my friend yesterday, and she was telling me about a fight her and her fiance had over the phone. She said they were talking, and they got into an argument about something to do with the wedding. As she was trying to explain herself, her fiance kept telling her to shut up, over and over again. She continued trying to explain herself, and finally her fiance told her to shut up or he would slap her across the face! Obviously he didnt slap her, cause they were on the phone, but what should she do? Should she call to apologize? Or is it the guy who has to call and apologize?
Re: What would you do?
No she should not apologize to him. But yes, she should discuss his behaviour with him. To repeatedly say "shut up", not listen to her and then say he would slap her is a sign of jahaalat and doesn't bode well for the relationship.
Re: What would you do?
well what was the argument about?
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give him a time out .. until he feels bad about what hes said
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they were arguing about something to do with the wedding. He has been saying for the last 2 months that he would take care of something for the wedding, and when he finally got around to doing it, he didnt even have the right information, and gave the vendor the wrong information. so she got upset about it.
Yah, I told her as well that she doesnt need to apologize, but he hasnt called her back since their fight, so she is really upset.
Re: What would you do?
oh ok .. well what did she do/say to make him so upset?
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She's definitely in for AT LEAST verbal abuse in her marriage.
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from what she told me, she said that she asked him to tell her straight what he said to the vendor, and when he told her what he said (which was the wrong information), she said, I have been asking you for so long to do this, you should have atleast gotten all the information before you talked to him. Then he started to make excuses, so she got upset and said something like, I gave you all the information, and asked you to do this so long ago, but you gave all the wrong inforamtion to the vendor - and this is when he started telling her to shut up, and when she kept talking, he said he would slap her, and she continued to talk, and then he hung up on her.
Re: What would you do?
They both need to apologize to each other.
Him for well, not following through with the instructions and messing up after being told about it numerous times, then telling her to "shut up" (that phrase can NOT be used in my relationship - highly insulting), and then threatening to slap her (O God!) and then hanging up.
She should apologize for not recognizing that he was getting defensive and probably needed to not be told what he did wrong. In an emotional situation like that, he wasn't going to listen to her anyway. She could have talked about the entire thing of having asked a gazillion times and the thing not getting done when they were both calm.
As bad as her continuing to talk about it after he threatened to slap her was, I think that was the best decision. That told him right there and then that his threat wouldn't work on her.
Honestly speaking though, none of that is a HUGE deal. As long as she knows that the guy is NOT the one to abuse her, and this was purely a reaction out of anger, this can be managed with a good amount of conversation (given that they are both sensible people).
If I were in her shoes though, I would expect an apology from him first because of that threat.
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^ thanks, I am going to ask her to read this, so she knows how to approach it when they begin talking again.
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hes rude. Tell her to give him a silent treatment.
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Ah: marriage. It begins.
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Ah life 1 drama. Some people are not ready to get married.
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When politely asked to shut up and listen, one should.
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At the end of the day is bickering over matter x,y and z really important if the relationship itself is suffering? I think your "friend" needs to prioritize the relationship over petty issues of wedding decor and such nonsense.
Toodles.
Re: What would you do?
The issue they were fighting about is irrelevant. What's worrying is her fiancees reaction to an argument. I'm sure in the future there'll be a thousand other issues to fight over and I don't think it's appopriate for the guy to respond by saying shutup and I'll slap you regardless of how annoyed or defensive he's feeling. I would reccomend your friend talk to her fiancée about how indlcredibly rude and disrespectful saying such a thing is regardless of how angry one is and it's really not something that should ever happen again or their are going to be some serious problems in the future.
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Let me guess, he has an unhealthy amount of white tanktops (gunjeez) and slicks his hair back.
Re: What would you do?
The issue they were fighting about is irrelevant. What's worrying is her fiancees reaction to an argument. I'm sure in the future there'll be a thousand other issues to fight over and I don't think it's appopriate for the guy to respond by saying shutup and I'll slap you regardless of how annoyed or defensive he's feeling. I would reccomend your friend talk to her fiancée about how indlcredibly rude and disrespectful saying such a thing is regardless of how angry one is and it's really not something that should ever happen again or their are going to be some serious problems in the future.
Yep she should call it off. Life ain't worth arguing before or after marriage. He will not change and will go to worse rather than to the better behavior.
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if he says ill slap you... he will ONE DAY!!
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verbal abuse starts turns in to physical violence.. any man that has no tameez how to talk to a woman is so not worth it. dun b shocked if he actually slaps her one day