hey guppies 
so im planning my wedding and my parents suggested an idea to me in which i am seriously considering, They want me to have a small wedding with of course, a beautiful dress and a very nice amount of jewelry but instead of paying for superfluous amounts of decor, inviting more than 100 ppl, renting out a huge hall, DJ’s, lighting, entertainers etc.. all for one day, they want to give me the money they would have invested in a big wedding. As a little girl ive always wanted the perfect wedding but now i think about it, i much rather have that money invested in something more productive like my future. My question to all of you married guppies is, if you could go back, would you do it all the same or instead have a really nice amount of cash in your bank account?
Re: what would you do?!?!
personally, i wouldn't change a thing. i had a wonderful wedding day AH- we were surrounded by 96 of our closest family and friends and we were so happy mA. the way i see it is, you get one wedding day- don't sacrifice your dream of a big wedding if that's what you've always had in your heart. money comes and money goes- you'll buy a house or a car or go on vacation but you can always do those things later on too, and will, iA. you can always make more money but you can't celebrate like that with your loved ones like that again. i understand where your parents are coming from, and kudos to them for their practicality in this matter, but these will be your memories more than theirs, in a way, so make sure you won't regret not having the party you've always wanted.
how does your fiance feel about the suggestion?
also, congratulations!
I'm not married yet but here is my two cent...
Islamically all that is important is a nikkah. On top of the bank balance you could feed 50 poor people and imagine the sawaab you'd get for it rather than feeding 200 snotty (not in everyones case) relatives. There is no doubt that money will make a world of difference eshpeshially if your a young couple starting off so that's really what you need to think about. Are there any major plans in your life for which this money would be useful or are you just thinking about the saving?
On the flipside I know if I were you I'd be happy with my choice (this topic also came up for me) due to my own circumstances but in the back of my head I may also think 'darn would have been awesome if me and hubs had this'. Also I won't go as far as saying its every girls 'dream' to have a big wedding because an intimate affair can be just as amazing but then you only get to do it once and you don't want to regret not making the most of it when you could. Two people working can save 20k in two years with no issues but can you have a big wedding again?
Its natural to never feel grateful lol... Whatever you choose you will probably regret not having the other at some point so you really need to think about what's important for you.
I'm not really the sociable type so I'm not looking forward to walking out in a hall of 300 gawping relatives and things like this make me wish I went with option number one!
Re: what would you do?!?!
^ right! you can still have your perfect wedding with 100 guests instead of 400. why not discuss this option with your parents and the 000's you'll save, can then go into your bank account. its the best of both worlds!
Re: what would you do?!?!
I think its more than possible for you to have a nice affair and keep some of the money at the same time...just be frugal and dont invite the world.
I agree with SGC.
Re: what would you do?!?!
I think thats a much better idea, I’m trying to convince my mother not to invite people we haven’t even seen before to the wedding just because they are my mum’s dad’s uncles’daughter’s niece’s nephew. 
Seriously! She just won’t listen, I want the money to myself! 
I want a gorgeous wedding, but only with my closest family and friends. People I like, and will actually do dua for me on my wedding day with complete sincerity.
There’s still a long long time, hopefully she’ll listen.
Re: what would you do?!?!
I did not go all out on my wedding. It was a well-planned out medium-sized affair and I loved every bit of it. We didn't spend a fortune and nor were we stingy. Parents of both sides were more involved rather than us but I really wouldn't tone down anything.
I think over-spending can be managed with better planning.
Re: What would you do?!?!
^ that last line is the line of the day, mahi! ding ding ding!
clapping for you :)
Re: What would you do?!?!
yes i think i want a very private affair and 100 guests seem fine to me. My Fiance is soo kind, he told me parents not to do a function at all, just have me do Nikkah and on the Valima he would throw a huge party on his side. My parents want a party of their own for me, they want to see me has a duhlan :) As far as the money they would have invested, that would go straight to myself. Every parents worst nightmare is that their daughter sees "hard times" "ahoka waqt" My parents are scared God Forbid anything happens in life down the road and their not here, money should not be a problem. Thats why they want me to save the cash on my own "just in case"
I totally agree, Allah only knows the future, he gives risq and can take it away
personally, i wouldn't change a thing. i had a wonderful wedding day AH- we were surrounded by 96 of our closest family and friends and we were so happy mA. the way i see it is, you get one wedding day- don't sacrifice your dream of a big wedding if that's what you've always had in your heart. money comes and money goes- you'll buy a house or a car or go on vacation but you can always do those things later on too, and will, iA. you can always make more money but you can't celebrate like that with your loved ones like that again. i understand where your parents are coming from, and kudos to them for their practicality in this matter, but these will be your memories more than theirs, in a way, so make sure you won't regret not having the party you've always wanted. how does your fiance feel about the suggestion?
also, congratulations!
Thank you groovychick !!!
Re: What would you do?!?!
This is the best idea yet!!! You can have a small beautiful wedding with a limited amount of people. Just be creative and shop around. I would take that money and save it for a nice vacay around some favorite part of the world.
Re: What would you do?!?!
I wanted to have a very simple wedding and valima, but my husband wanted the opposite. He wanted a proper wedding, the best food, the best decor, the best everything.
Yes, our wedding was beautiful. In fact, it was more entertaining and well done than most other weddings I have been to, but that's because my husband insisted on the best for everything.
I see so many people not caring too much about the food, the decor, the amount of people, the cake etc...they cheap out on stuff so they can save that money for their future.
This is exactly what I wanted to do, especially since both me and my husband were paying for the wedding ourselves. My husband had almost no money left in his account after the wedding was over and had to start from scratch and now I have to wait for him to have enough money for a downpayment on a house. It bothers me to this day, and everytime we go to another wedding where you can clearly see the bride and groom did it very simply to save money, it bothers me, because I could have been sitting in my own house right now if it werent for that.
I think your parents are looking out for your best interest. It's very important to have that money for your future.
Re: What would you do?!?!
I think your parents are right, coz at the end its you and your husband, you can use that money to have a wonderful Honeymoon.
Re: What would you do?!?!
congratulations honeyah!!
Re: What would you do?!?!
I agree with a small wedding and the money to save.
Re: What would you do?!?!
i would defo have small wedding and save sme money great idea
Re: What would you do?!?!
i like the idea of having a smaller intimate wedding and saving the money but i agree with SGC, if uv always wanted a big wedding then go for it and dont compromise. ur memories will be more precious than any money saved