Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
ufff.... i am going to RESERVE the option of divorce BY A WOMAN on my NIKAH NAMA FOR MYSELF,, meray banday nai zaida choon chaan ki tau he'd be outta the window first. btw, for all you MCP's, THAT'S WHY YOU ARE ALL SINGLE, AND I know many decent pakistani guys who don't treat their wives like slaves, aap log konsai jungle sai ayeh ho?
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
complaining
complaining
n
complaining
gals iskey ilawa bhi kuch kerti hein ?
On a serious note : things like that should be settled before marriage takeh bad mein maslay na banein
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
but why on earth would you want to sit your husband down and lecture(equivalent of ‘SCOLDING’) him. There are better ways to get your point across. Lemme take my exam on monday and I shall open up a new thread and teach you gals how to get your point across when talking to your husband. 
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
oh wait.....for guys only???
i was never here
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
I pray to God that I find a nice woman so that I dont have to go through the trouble of throwing her out of the window.
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
Who says anyone is lecturing or scolding?
If you don't sit down and talk to the guy about the problem, then you're accused of being a typical desi woman, not communicating well, causing trouble, waiting till the end when you can't take it anymore and then having an argument which could have been avoided etc.
If you sit down and talk to the guy about the problem, then you're accused of scolding and giving a lecture.
Please. This female you speak of in the other thread gave an example from her own life, and you assumed a tone that she did not even speak of or describe. She said she sat him down and had a discussion with him. You assume you know what tone she's using as if you're there.
Jeez, people. Come up with better debate topics, really.
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
ok sugar free i got your point, i'll kiss my husband very passionately first and then kick him outta da window.
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
You guys r horrible, talkin bout throwing women out of windowsa nd cheating.. :(
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
I didn't know that sitting down and talking to your wife makes a man 'wusses' and throwing her outta window makes him brave and heroic.
if thats the case, i'd rather marry a wuss
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
Wow…talk about people assuming things. First of all, to SUGARFREE, my friend was never “proud” of this problem that they were having…she never “proudly bragged” about this to me or anyone else. I’ve been friends with this girl for almost 7 years…we were roommates in college for 2 years…so when she shares her marital problems with me, I would hardly call it “prodly bragging”.
One important thing that I guess I should’ve mentioned in my earlier post…my friend and her current husband met in college…they dated for over 3 years before getting married. He had plenty of time to figure out what kinda female she was in those 3 years…she never hid anything from him…we all went to the same University, took classes together etc. In those 3 years, he never made a single negative comment about her clothes. In fact, there were times when he would take her shopping, and pick the exact type clothing which her later had a problem with(skirts, tops with short sleeves). Yet all of a sudden, AFTER marriage, it was a problem. If he had a problem with it, then he never should’ve married her in the first place. If it was ok for her to wear those clothes as his girlfriend and then fiance, then why can’t she continue wearing them as his wife. He NEVER bought this issue up before marriage.
If other people enjoy arguaing, going back and forth every day about the same old issues…then that’s their thing. My friend and her hubby married…and a few months after the wedding she mentioned to me that he started telling her that she should change her choice of clothing, stop wearing skirts, stop wearing short sleeved tops etc. It became to the point where they had little arguments about this almost every day. She became pregnant around this time…and the arguments about her clothing continued. Finally around the 4th month of pregnancy she got tired of the arguments and the stress it was putting on her. She decided it wasn’t good for her or her baby to argue about this daily…so one day she just sat him down and told him her views on it.
And no, my friend doesn’t think her husband is a “wuss” or has any less respect for him just b/c he stopped nagging her about it. She thinks that having that talk with him just made him realize that this issue was a minor thing in their marriage, and it wasn’t worth losing his wife(or their unborn child) over it. Their marriage isn’t perfect and there are other things they don’t agree on and compromise on. But this was one issue that my friend wasn’t willing to compromise. Just like there are things her husband does that she doesn’t like…and he has made it clear to her that he’s not willing to give up certain things(ie. one of those things is smoking)…and once he made it clear to her he’s not going to give up those certain things and she can either accept it or walk out, she decided those things weren’t “big enough” to cause tension in their daily lives…to she learned to live with it.
I don’t know about other cases…but I believe that if it was a love marriage…where you dated your spouse prior to marriage, and then choose to marry them…then you have no right to pressure them to change after marriage. Be honest from the beginning…know what you want in your spouse.
Oh, and as far as me learning my lesson from my friend and choosing to follow suit, if you knew anything about my personality at all, then you would’ve known that I don’t need anyone else to show me how to stand up for myself. If I date a guy for several years, we get married, and all of a sudden he decides out of nowhere that he doesn’t like the way I dress, and if he nags me about it everyday, then yes, I’d tell my future husband the same thing. And if my husband chooses to divorce me over this one issue, if to him that’s the only thing that matters in our marriage is the way I dress(which he saw the whole time we were dating)…then I’d thank him for leaving me…b/c that’s not the kind of man I’d want to spend the rest of my life with…nor would I want a hypocrite like that to teach my children about values and morals…
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
Lost, why are you wasting your time explaining anythin to these morons?
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
B/C I’m bored…needed something to do so wrote that whole mini-novel…I don’t really expect any “morons” to change their views based on what I wrote… Visiting my family…but they went to someone’s house for iftaar. I didn’t go b/c I don’t like this family…the aunty’s always trying to get me engaged to her son! 
So at home a little bored…
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
i am a bit different type of girl.. which some ppl dont like about me that is i will change at that moment if my hubby asked me to change my way of clothing.. without any question.. i will do wateva he will ask.. (well that is my plan.. later i dont know :) )
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
Lol okay. 
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
Lost, if ur bored, u can always do my assignments for me
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
Well Attia, if it makes you happy, if you don’t have any problem with changing your choice of clothing for him, then I don’t see why anyone else should have a problem with it.
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
lol…hey I did my “time” for those looong 4 years…now you get to experience the joys of college. 
And with finals coming up in about a month or so, I’m sure the fun will get even better…
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
I have midterm tuesday 
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
No, we dont have a problem with it. Your post just gives some of us a glint of hope that there are still vituous and modest women like you.
May Allah (swt) continue to bless you and your husband and help you guide each other to make yourselves more pious and Allah-fearing.
Don’t listen to a handful of nutty lonely feminazis on this board who incessantly blather on ad nauseam about equality and egalitariansm, while advocating cutting off of male genitalia as a mode of punishment for cheating. While you enjoy a long and blissful life with your husband, these feminazis are going to be either unhappily married to beta men, or buying Purina cat chow at the local pet store.
Re: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! Note: THIS THREAD FOR GUYS ONLY!
yeah i dont have any problem with changing my choice of clothingl.. cause if we look islamicly … my clothing right now is totally not acceptable… so if someone is trying to make me perfect so why not.. i know u might be thinking that if i know these things than why i dont change it myself.. the reason is that.. right now no one has stoped me.. or told me to change my clothing.. aur no has a prob with it .. aur in a way im used to it now.. so that is why.. i know it is going to be a bit hard for me to change but if that would lead me to a fight with my hubby then it is not worth.. aur about divorce.. Allah meeya maf karay .. thinking about it will be haram for me