Okay, so as you all know I’m in the process of being engaged. Nothing is official- but its getting close.
What is the best way to tell your friends your getting married without sounding super smug. I ask this because I know there are girls older then me that I grew up with, and they aren’t married and we all had issues with girls younger then us getting married early and acting all smug about this as though they just won the Nobel Prize or something. I seriously don’t want to be like that.
I don’t have facebook or anything so i can’t just change my status and let the world know. So should I just wait until the rumer mill kicks in via the aunties and then just address it then (Choti jaan, is it true you got engaged?), or should I inform them first?
I have a couple “friends” that I don’t particulary like, but I have to see them every so often because there in the community and we see each other at house parties. The guy i’m marrying is eight years older then me(which doesn’t bother me at all) - I know one of these idiot “friends” (whose married to a guy that’s only two yrs older then her) is going to comment on that in front of everyone. How should I respond without sounding like I’m biting her head off?
I roommate with three other desi girls. I don’t want want to invite one of them to Nikkah because I know she’s did not not invite me to her’s (none of us were invited) and I don’t like her. That shouldn’t be a problem, but I know it’s going to be awkward because I’m inviting the other two- what is the best way to handle this?
umm i dont think u need to announce it. Just wait for the rumour to find itself around and thats that :) Let ur mum tell the aunties, if its in the community. If you've got friends outside the community then let them know yourself... Also, dont worry about what people or that so called family friend is gonna say about the age.. as long as you two are happy and fine with that, it shouldnt bother anyone else..
There's always gonna be idiots who will gossip and they will gossip and badmouth without a reason. Even if he were your age or 2 years older, they would say something about something...
Just enjoy this time.. and be happy. Spend time with your family and let them know how much they mean to you... i seriously regret not spending enough time with them before i got married.. aah well :)
oh and the roommate.. dont worry. If you dont want her there, u dont want her there.. simple
sadzzz- best advice
spend time with ur family
im not married yet but will be soon n im gonna move to another country so i cherish all the time spent with my family
**Just go out for a coffee and break the news. Excite them about your wedding and make them part of your happiness. After all they are your friends and they’ll be happy for you rather then being sad for themselves, might think about themselves at night for a bit but thats all. You weren’t going to be single for the rest of your life.
Also, I hate the idea of being informed about a party or a wedding through facebook or messenger. Come on, you can give them a call. People are worth a call. Ask them how they been, whats going on with them and then tell’em whats going on in your life. The whole notion of telling people through email or facebook or messenger is disgusting. Stay away from it. People will appreciate you more, if you put a human touch to it.
**
**This is a cold war and you’ll have to play it that way. First off, its your wedding so you’ll have to be the one in control and, above all, make sure you’re not ruining your experience. The excitement and happiness you have should be shared with friends and family and don’t hold back in it. As for people who’ll talk, you’ll just have to keep a positive attitude. They can’t ruin your day until and unless, you give them a chance to.
As for your friend, you’ll just have to be tactical about it. Think about her weak point, that you * hint * but not use against her. If you drop a hint, that would be enough to scare her off. If you take the offenses then its not going play out well.**
**I don’t think that should be an issue. Its your wedding and just like her, you have the option to include people on your day or not. One thing I would suggest you is that you’re starting a new life and you’re going to need well wishes then old feuds. Perhaps, the reason your friend couldn’t ask you guys to come was financial or some other difficulty. So give them a chance to redeem themselves. If you ask her to come and she refuses, its not going to hurt you but if she does come, you’re making a new friend and putting old feuds behind.
P.s. I read an email my best friend of 15 years sent me asking for help and I had stopped using that email address. In his view, I didn’t responded to his help request but in my view, I missed an opportunity genuiely. So give people a chance to redeem themselves.**
Okay, so as you all know I'm in the process of being engaged. Nothing is official- but its getting close.
What is the best way to tell your friends your getting married without sounding super smug. I ask this because I know there are girls older then me that I grew up with, and they aren't married and we all had issues with girls younger then us getting married early and acting all smug about this as though they just won the Nobel Prize or something. I seriously don't want to be like that.
I don't have facebook or anything so i can't just change my status and let the world know. So should I just wait until the rumer mill kicks in via the aunties and then just address it then (Choti jaan, is it true you got engaged?), or should I inform them first?
I have a couple "friends" that I don't particulary like, but I have to see them every so often because there in the community and we see each other at house parties. The guy i'm marrying is eight years older then me(which doesn't bother me at all) - I know one of these idiot "friends" (whose married to a guy that's only two yrs older then her) is going to comment on that in front of everyone. How should I respond without sounding like I'm biting her head off?
I roommate with three other desi girls. I don't want want to invite one of them to Nikkah because I know she's did not not invite me to her's (none of us were invited) and I don't like her. That shouldn't be a problem, but I know it's going to be awkward because I'm inviting the other two- what is the best way to handle this?
Thanks you all.
Love, choti jaan
I usually tend to go with what Navaidishere says...lol
Choti Jaan, its good to see how you're being so considerate of your friends' feelings and want this to be a happy occasion. :) I would simply get a group of those you want to invite out and break it to them. Act like you want them to be a part of it and make sure they are. Ive got a circle of four best friends...two were married and the other two werent. Now, Im getting married and we have one left. Imagine how she feels? She is such a good friend though and is always ready to help in any way she can. So, I do regular updates, send them emails to ask them what they think of my invite ideas, bridal shower themes (a few weeks ago, I thought of an Austin Powers theme...what was I thinking????), etc. I call her to see if she can come with me to look at a banquet hall. Make them a part of it and they will be happy with you and for you.
As for the "friend"...let me at her...just kidding. Some people made some off comments on my engagement too...it wasnt nice at all. I was sitting there all decked out and had to keep a frozen smile on my face so the photographers wouldnt get it. All I said was "So nice to see you, thank you for coming...make sure you try the dessert!"...lol. I burned about it for a few minutes and then thought about who this person really is...no one. Its my engagement, my day, my life, my pictures, my moment, why should she get to ruin it? So, I asked my sister to guard me from her in case she approaches and enjoyed myself. Never saw her again. I can give you a million nasty things to say but what will it accomplish? Nothing and you wont feel any better either. Ignore her so she knows just how important she is.
The roommate problem might be a bit sticky so I would suggest inviting her anyway...I dont think she will show up though. Especially if she didnt invite you to hers. Kwim? If she does, you get a present and all is forgotten! :) :) :)
aww thanks you all. THe roommate problem is so icky, really. The problem is IS that she would show up w/o bringing anything- and she's not poor- ! I'm sort of scard of her really. I think i'll just avoid her. Acually i have a question about her (dealing with annoying roomies) which I'll open in a new thread iA tonite.
I would not tell anyone including not close family until something is official. People are envious and unless you set the date I would not say anything in the community. Because it's one of those things that once you did you have to give all the details.
Again - you don't need to give all the details. If somebody says something just ignore it. When I got married EVERYONE had an opinion. It doesn't matter. It's your life and if you like the guy - doesn't matter.
Just say that only close friends and family is invited. You mom is planning everything. It's going to be small function. Are you going to invite the other two roommates - that might be a bit akward.
aww thanks you all. THe roommate problem is so icky, really. The problem is IS that she would show up w/o bringing anything- and she's not poor- ! I'm sort of scard of her really. I think i'll just avoid her. Acually i have a question about her (dealing with annoying roomies) which I'll open in a new thread iA tonite.
Congrats first!
Be forgiving to her; you will need that in your married life as well.
MY BEST WISHES FOR YOU AT THIS NEW LIFE
don't bother about ur friends, there are a lot of ppl with whom v have to talk just for the sake of a lot of reasons so, don't get fussy at them. one can't do anything more safer than to ignore them or to bear them. bearing them with a smile is the best torture one can give to the conspirators and believe me you enjoy, for rest u have a lot of advices stated above..........
everyone gave good advice but about the roommate..i'd just invite her, only b/c she's in close proximity and it'd be awkward. Unlesss eh did something totally horrible i would move on.....
everyone gave good advice but about the roommate..i'd just invite her, only b/c she's in close proximity and it'd be awkward. Unlesss eh did something totally horrible i would move on.....
consider urself lucky to have time to think about all this! I didnt get any time to even think abt my engagment nd imagine breaking the news to my frends wen i wasnt even sure wat happened! but somehow i did it .. told the people who i cared the most nd as of other pple like u sed there just some pple who dunt want to talk but have to well.. i didnt really tell them nd waited till the rumors spread!
pple will talk crapp no matter wat but remm as long as u know what ur doing is RIGHT nd ur Happy wit this than no one can put u down!! i still have pple talking abt how i didnt tell dis person or just talking abt It.. u just gotta learn to ignore them :)
