Re: What with these posts
Afro sheen,
no, this is not about young women or girls, only.
it is individual cases. some people are in predicaments because they have to first learn what they really want. it is true of men too. and it is not all about the culture where arranged relations are built. some people are very rigid and they are very dry. they are very thick skins and have very dark motives in many ways, in almost all ways. yes, you are right that women and men, must be able to make this one of the most importrant decision about their lives, ideally fully congnizant fo what they are letting to happen to themselves.
when people change statements and they try their all, to being about a semi-desired result that can go either way, sadly, they are already setting up their loved ones and themselves, for failure and regret.
it is true of anyone who makes such decisions in a hurry, without proper and honest communication.
why young women and girls are unable to articulate their 'No' regarding this, is the unwelcome with which their family wants them to get out of the house. some young women and girls, themselves might see this to be their only way out to a married life where their going to be spouse will understand them, but that may or may not happen. and thus, it is such a sad social affair. as a society, as people, as fellow/friends women and sisters of brothers, who marry women who are forced to marry them. same with men being fellow/friends and brothers of women, who marry men who are forced to marry them.
regarding feeling nothing about the other person; when you do feel all that you can, prior to such a marriage and the person does not blieve you, it is that much more damaging for such a person when he/she moves to the next prey. people are not inanimate objects, who can be forgotten and hurt. the subtle regret and pain, guilt and anger will always accompany such people who knowingly force a relationship and then ruin own lives and lives of other people.
what should be done to stop it from happening? educate people to know that getting to know each other befoe marriage within ethical limits, is essential and that people ought not to back off, breaking trust. marriages must take place with mutual consent and liking for each other, that has been established over time, by getting to know each other.
best,
Dushwari
What is going on? It seems as if every other post, some girl got "forced" to get engaged/married and is NOW looking for a way out. If its not that someone has an issue to talk to someone online. Jeez. If you are able to talk to a whole mess of strangers online @GupShup, why such a difficulty to talk to 1 person your already know. Why do these girls not have any guts to speak out BEFORE these things happen, and not wait until the end. How can you go through a marriage when you feel nothing about the other person???