We’ve recently had a death in our family and we’re expecting people over to come do afsos. Are we supposed to serve them anything other than juice/water?
Usually in desi culture, some close family friends take over the food part and make sure that not just guests, but even the family itself is eating the meals. It’s very common that out of grief, the immediate family is not eating properly, let alone feeding the guests.
Having said that, guests in such cases don’t expect any food and simple juice is more than enough of a courtesy they would be expecting from the family.
Re: What to serve to people coming for afsos?
thanks for your reply! for the first 3 days since the death in the family we did have someone providing us with food. Just wasnt sure what to do now with guests since its been about a week and people are still coming, and often times around lunch or dinner.
That must be tough. May Allah make it easy for your family. Not sure which part of world you are in, but if financially manageable, have some carry out food or couple of pizza boxes ordered in advance in the anticipation of guests coming during meal time might do.
Re: What to serve to people coming for afsos?
If anything, just chai should be fine.
Please don’t worry yourselves over serving meals right now - you’re dealing with enough and may Allah make it easier for you and your family.
My suggestion is to simply have some dry stuff handy if you really want to do snack.
But if it was me coming to your home…I’d not want you to trouble yourself.
Re: What to serve to people coming for afsos?
Unless someone is visiting from 2 to 4 hours away, I would stick to chai-paani/juice and maybe a plate of biscuits. The family is grieving, they shouldn’t be expected to “host” guests and any guest who expects to be served a five-course shouldn’t bother to come. Don’t feel guilted into being proper hosts - it’s not your job at such an emotionally difficult time.
Re: What to serve to people coming for afsos?
I have had to go for afsoos a few times in my lifetime and regardless of how many days have passed since the death or who has passed away,I have never expected anything to eat/drink.Infact I have felt a lil uncomfortable being served.
My nana abu and dadi amma passed away ( in Pakistan) and after the first few days if there were people still coming,only chai was served with some store bought snack/s (samosa/cookies etc).
If you have to do anything,just keep it as simple as you can.People always understand and those who do not,will most likely not be satisfied even if you serve them a three course meal so worry not about them!
Re: What to serve to people coming for afsos?
Just serve chai pain no matter what time guests show up.
Re: What to serve to people coming for afsos?
Ideally nothing should be served nor the people coming for condolence should expect any khaatir dari but we have faced two deaths of very close family members in past 6 months and whoever came I just made tea for them in some cases tang and that is it . We were too tired & exhausted to do anything more than that anyways.
I agree, they shouldn’t expect any food. Its a time for grieving snd quiet reflection and if people are expecting a whole load of food well, shame on them. Tea and biscuits, buss!