What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Veteran mommies, let’s help our first timers out :slight_smile:
Please share how your first few days looked like after baby was finally here.

Remember to tell what country you live in and whether you had c section or normal delivery.
So how did your first hours/days/weeks look like after your little one arrived?

Looking forward to all the replies :smiley:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

great topic… excited to read the replies. :slight_smile:
I don’t have any kids yet so can’t contribute unfortunately.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

USA, normal delivery but tons of stitches. Very busy and stressful time with no sleep, nursing and all. Be prepared that the baby will be disruptive to your lifestyle. I have seen many desis brag that thier kid never woke up at night, pls remember that rare.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Country: Canada.
Delivery: C-section

I don’t know how to put it another way; but 3rd time around it was pure HELL for me, I gave birth at a different hospital in my own town, at the hospital the genius nurses failed to mention after taking the IV out the meds are only given upon request (not just the meds even water) :mad: so here I am almost rolling on the floor next night in pain, unable to sit-up to feed the baby or stand, somehow dragged myself outside to the nurse’s station to fetch ‘percocet’, after that debacle I had to be back in the same week to get stitches pulled out. It was so painful, I can’t even describe the pain.

Baby was alhamdulilah not a fussy one at all, no gas issues, he is such a blessing alhamduliah till this day, but the amount of work almost tripled. I however always beat myself for not being able to nurse on my own, even though trying to pump or even seeing the lactation consultant, it just didn’t even happen this time around. Oh my the guilt I still can’t shrug off :frowning:

I had ample time to bond with him at the hospital but my mind was always on the girls, I shed a few tears because I know how much I would miss them.

Two pre-schoolers in tow; sleepless night with no help with cooking or any sort. There was absolutely no routine for the baby for first few weeks, since he was up all night and asleep during the day. I literally pulled my hair out of sleep deprivation, My elder daughter’s 1 month long summer school program every day for half-day (2.5 hours) started 6 weeks after the baby was born; lugging the kids/carseat around was very difficult in between getting house chores/cooking done. I am so glad last year is over.

Having said all that, I love what I do, my kids are my life and soul Mash’Allah. Even though all the hardship/challenges I face as a new parents I wouldn’t trade this life for anything alhamdulilah :slight_smile:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Delivery: C sec
Place: Canada

Recovery was painful and it was long. My C happened after a long labour. Be prepared to be overwhelmed. The hormones are like nothing you’ve ever experienced and I mean, I was at my moms for 8 weeks! I had big problems nursing, mastitis, fever, guilt over formula, severe edema in my feet which made me feel like they were going to just burst out of their skin, not to mention the pain from the surgery. I was unable to do stairs, get in and out of bed easily - I was a wreck. Switching to formula was my sanity saver. I was able to take antibiotics and let me body heal and actually get some sleep at some points throughout the day since someone else could feed baby. I came home 8 weeks after his birth and it was a whole another adjustment.

What I will say is this:
You will still bleed a lot post C. Be prepared for that. The bleeding should start to subside though and you will eventually end up with just spotting before it stops. Mine went on for a full 40 days.

The baby blues and PPD are very real and should be respected and acknowledged as such- get help if you need it.

Don’t be a superwoman- do what you can, as much as you can- then ask for help. If this means letting the cleaning go or eating take out for days in a row, so be it.

Formula is not the enemy.

Hire a lactation consultant if you want to nurse successfully- it is neither easy nor as “natural” as you think.

A C is major abdominal surgery- take the full 6 weeks and go slow. You will continue healing internally for the next 18 months.

Take your pain medications post partum and also stool softeners.

Go out every single day- without fail. Even if you just sit on your porch for 20 minutes. It will make a WORLD of difference.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

RG, ouch! What hospital was this?? Also how come you had stitches not staples? I was dreading mine coming out but thankfully I barely felt them.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Delivery - 2nd baby, vaginal delivery with epidural.
Place - USA

I’ll be posting an update in a couple of weeks after my third baby arrives, iA.

A lot of this is TMI (wayyyy too much information) and is meant to prepare other mommies to be. Keep in mind that every pregnancy and recovery is different though …

Baby was delivered and was put on my belly as soon as he came out. The nurses wiped him down while he was on there and the doctor delivered the placenta (yup! baby is not the only thing that comes out of your body :stuck_out_tongue: ). The doc also stitched me up at this time, I was too tired to care!
My husband cut the cord at this time too and baby was then taken off to be weighed and cleaned up. I got him back shortly after that and nursed him for the first time right there in the labor and delivery room. It was such an amazing bonding moment for us!

He was then taken off to the nursery with the nurse and my husband. I was cleaned up and helped off the bed (the epidural was still in effect and I couldn’t walk! or move my legs at all) and onto a wheel chair and was wheeled off to the postpartum suites.
As the epi was starting to wear off I was asked to use to the bathroom … as the nurse stood there watching … yup they make you pee in front of them and then make you show how much you peed :hayaa: You will basically forget a thing called sharam o hayaa by this point.
I was also given a squirt bottle and an icepack for the soreness and stitches. Other things you’re given are mesh panties (awesome if you don’t wanna use/ruin your own), huuuuuge pads which are amazing! A sitz bath which you can take home and are suppose to use every day for a week or two to help with the soreness and recovery and helps prevent any infections.

Anyway, baby came back as I was settled in and had had my breakfast. I nursed him and had some bonding time. This was my second baby so I had a fairly easy time with breastfeeding him but the hospital had lactation nurses available to help at any time of the day in case I had any difficulties.

So one thing no one tells first time mommies is that you will be contracting again AFTER you’ve already had your baby. :hayaa: Those cramps were sooooo painful! It’s basically your uterus shrinking and going back to pre pregnancy size. With a little pain medication they were tolerable :teary1: Gets worse with each baby too!

We stayed at the hospital for 2 days and then came home. My baby was alhamdulilah a very good newborn. One of those rare babies who sleep most of the night and latches on like a dream. My biggest challenge was dealing with my then 2.5 year old daughter AND newborn while trying to juggle everything else around the home. I had absolutely NO help from anyone other than my husband, who had to go back to work when baby was 2 weeks old … so it was hard on me but we got through it alhamdulilah.

I’m sure I’m missing a lot of things and will probably add more as I remember things :slight_smile:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Milton District hospital. So outdated. Even the nurses were all from the 80s even with the fringe 80s haircuts. Argh. I am pretty darn sure the OB was very 80s himself hence the stitches, to me that was un-heard of? And you would think he would want to talk to me about this at the last check-up? like who even still does that?

Oh and the hospital only carried two hearing devices, which both were broken down the week I was there, so the baby couldn’t even get the hearing test done; I had to go to the Oakville hospital 2 months later to get it done. Very bad experience tsk

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

That’s awful! :confused:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

That’s strange they made you go to the bathroom in front of them. I gave birth in USA too twice and it never happened to me.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Yup and it happened with both of my kids. Different hospitals too. They had a bucket thing in the toilet and the nurse checked how much pee was in there LOL!!!

Could it be because of the epidural? I had a catether put in after I got my epi. So maybe because of that? I’ll actually make sure to ask if it happens again this time.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

^ its pretty common to have urine output measured after vaginal/surgical delivery. its done to ensure the mom isnt in urinary retention and the thing in the toilet is called the HAT. Mine was also measured after c-section (USA).

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Yeah they never measured mine either. They just asked me if I went and that I needed to go within a certain number of hours. I think everyone gets a catheter after an epi because you have no sensation down there.

But other than that both my birth experiences were awfully similar to yours! Though the second time I asked to be let out the next day coz I missed my older girl and was worried for her but they didn’t let me!

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What NOT to expect: sleeping in peace for more than an hour for next 2 years :frowning:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

2 years? :eek: Or did you mean ‘months’ ? Let’s not scare the poor newbies too much now. Mujhe khud darr lag raha hai ab to :cb:

Both my kids have been sleeping around 7 hours straight from at least 6 months of age. The little one actually has been doing it since he was 4-5 months I think.

I think I just want to add that newbie mommies should listen very carefully to their bodies once the baby is here. Don’t expect to be running around right away, give yourself time to heel and rest and don’t compare yourself to the 1-2 superwoman around you. Apart from that I guess what will keep you sane is: Sleeping when baby sleeps, even if house chore are there to be done. Get help if needed whether that is with housework, lactation etc. No shame in that. Set aside at least 30 mins of time pr day without the baby - either spend with your other kid alone or just you. I went a little off topic here but I guess it’s okay.

Sane and happy mommy = sane and happy family. :slight_smile:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Guys…is there a way I can be on a painkiller cocktail through the entire thing…like until baby is about 2?

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

TIL; it’s not worth having a baby.

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Lol I promise it gets better and better as they get older. At the very least, they get so much more entertaining and fun to be with! Hold on to that! :wink:

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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Baby 1…C section, USA

  • Post partum depression is very real.
  • Learn to let someone else control/manage your house, yes it will not be what you are used to but you need that help. (Reminder to self)
  • Don’t take your mother or MIL in the examination room for yourself or your baby. (From past experience). Have them wait in the waiting room.
  • Don’t let people/family make you feel bad about your body.
  • Take the baby out for a walk, get some fresh air everyday.
  • Eat whatever you want, a balance healthy diet (I know I will get lot of Andy temar as I don’t believe in all the food precautions Desi women are told to take). (My mother plans on enforcing them this time too, let’s pray peace prevails b/w the two of us).
  • Expect to be all goo goo gaa gaa over your baby, they make all those pains worth going through.
  • Nursing is hard stuff, don’t get disappointed. It takes 4-6 weeks before your milk supply is established.
  • Pacifier is not your or your child’s enemy especially in the first 6 months. After 6 months slowly get rid of it.
  • Get as much rest as you can. Don’t go nuts over house chores.
  • If family is irritating you (not only your in laws but your own family too), get up and go to your room. Yes, expect to be irritated by extremely little things and don’t expect that people around you will understand why you are annoyed at different things said or done.
    Hopefully, your husband will help maintaing some boundaries.
  • if you have a good relationship with your husband, he will be your best friends and will help you in every possible way especially during the first 3 months.
  • take 30 mins out and do something for yourself, even if it is standing under a warm shower, checking wedding section on GS, watching a sitcom, whatever…
  • Don’t forget Allah, even if you can’t say your prayers, just take couple mins and thank him for all your blessings. (Reminder to self)
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Re: What to expect AFTER your baby is born

Chaos

Ps: the one you love