What to do ? (if anything)

[minnz]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

The Punjabi saying springs to mind - *'Jere pind ne jana, owda raasta ne puchi da' *

[Paheli00]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

My daughter is reading this thread and very grudgingly agreed to add her pic to her profile. She's never added other pics to her profile or her posts, and likes to keep her personal life away from FB.

I truly believe this is the most effective and least hassle-free solution to this. She doesn't need to add any personal pics. Just 1 simple face pic as the main profile pic. Since your daughter is a very social person and is very involved in the community, she's already used to tons of people seeing her in person at various different events (you mentioned she even gets interview requests?). Putting up a face pic is no different than her going upto people in person and introducing herself.

I did tell her, she either close her FB, or add her pic, with a line "This is the REAl XYZ, not the OTHER XYZ who is trying to be me." And who cares if Tayee sees it. Maybe then Tayee will close down her FB or change her name to her real name.

I don't think she should close her FB b/c people will still continue to add the fake profile thinking its her. As for adding that line....especially the 2nd part.....I don't believe in airing dirty laundry.....especially over something so stupid. It will only give others reason to gossip about her and the SIL.

You wrote in the 1st post that your daughter already brought up the profile to her aunt and the aunt brushed her off. You and your husband have a strained relationship with the couple. Given all this info, you really shouldn't get your hopes up that she will delete that fake profile anytime soon. You also wrote that its been reported but FB hasn't done anything. Thus, the best thing to do is focus on damage control and ensure that people find the correct person (ie. your daughter).

[Sehrysh]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

I would be very concerned about the Tayee’s actions. Her actions are bordering on stalking and she can damage your daughter’s reputation with this fake profile. You’ve mentioned yourself that FB is used for networking and you should realize that a lot of recruiters look at FB profiles to gather information on potential employment candidates - they will assess reputation and conduct based on the postings.

I know this is an extreme case, but take a look at the article and the damage done by an ex-girlfriend to the reputation of a guy she dated.

I would put together a stronger argument to FB and report the tayee’s profile demand that the profile be shut down - that’s my 2 cents.

Teacher ‘powerless’ to stop ex-girlfriend’s cyberstalking - British Columbia - CBC News

[partyslims]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

Maybe jethani is catfishing some college hunk, mantee ki taya

[Sehrysh]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

^ #Popculturereferencewin

[S02]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

I wish I had some advice for you. This situation is so bizarre. I hope you are able to resolve it soon.

[Sidra_1]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

Forget the devrani/jethani relation and tell your husband about all this. He SHOULD talk to his barey bhaiya and the latter to his wife. So you have no direct interaction with you jethani and hope the situation gets better. Wait for some days if it doesn't work out then try to directly approach your bil.

Good Luck !

[flawedsoul]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

This is so very odd. I would be super pissed if I was you or your daughter. Aside from the daughter putting a profile pic, like others said, do ask your daughter to give out her email address to people to search up when they want to add her to FB, and she should mention to them while giving the email address that there is more than one her with the same info.

And also maybe your daughter should block the other fake profile - so the tayee never knows what profile pic etc your daughter is using.

[tranquil]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

Its odd that you reported the profile so many times and and Facebook has taken no action. I had a simlar experience where this girl was using my profile pic as hers. me and a bunch of friends reported her and the account was taken down within a day or two. we did however publicly post her link on our profiles, which is something I'm not sure you want to do or will do. But you know what, even if the account was taken down, it would take your jethani minutes to make a new one and that would be supper aggravating for you and your daughter.

this sucks , it really does. perhaps your daughter should talk to everyone who has been added by your jethani and tell them the whole story , (or send a group message ). it would be awkward , but perhaps it will work.

[system]

Re: What to do ? (if anything)

@ninjamummy

This is a really dumb situation, and I have no idea what to do about this.

Myself and my jethani do not get along. (surprise). Over the past twenty years we have had a love/hate relationship, stay out of one another’s business and lives. My husband and his brother are on hello/shello terms.

Okay, the problem is this. My SIL has had a social media account (FB, Twitter, etc) for a few years now. A while ago, she made some changes to her account; ie her name. She changed it from the name she was using to another name. She also added a college to her profile (she has never attended this college, ever). People open their FB accounts under their real names, or use another name as they see fit.

The current name she is using on her accounts is the same name, the legal name as my daughter. The college listed on her profile is the same as my daughter’s.

My daughter is a college student. Her account is a bona fide account under her name with her educational institution listed. As you all know, many classes require you have a social media account as a way to stay in touch with instructors, advisers, peers and more.

When one searches for my daughter’s name, the name being used by my SIL also comes up. People are confused as to why my daughter has multiple accounts,and since my SIL comes up first in the search , people add her (my SIL) as a friend.

We do live in the same city, though we are miles away. We have some overlapping social circles, some same friends etc. I myself do not maintain a social media page. My SIL is older, and has “friended” many of my daughters friends, who have added her. Once they realised that this person is not my daughter, they unfriend my SIL or keep her on, as people love to have friends.

My daughter is involved in community service etc,and other things, so is often contacted through social media. This happens usually someone does not know my daughter too well so they search for her on FB . She does not get the requests, interview notices etc as the messages go to my SIL account. We became aware of this a couple of months ago, when Person X met my daughter , was frosty towards her and said, “At least have the decency to respond, you came very highly recommended”.

My daughter was very confused and responded that she had not received anything.
Person X pulled up the sent messages and the person it was sent to, which turned out to be my SIL account. My daughter said, “That is not my account, it belongs to someone else.”
Person X, “Your name is so unique, there cannot be two of the same, and at the same school unless you have multiple accounts.”
Daughter, " No it’s someone else using the same name as mine."
Person X " Well I only know one other person with the same last name, and it is XYZ".
My daughter, " Yes, that is the person who has this made this account, and she is my Aunty."
Person X, " I know her very well, and that is not her real name, why does she have an account in YOUR name?"

My daughter ..No comment

(BTW, we have a veryyyyy unique name, so only a handful of people go by it).

The above scenario has happened a few times now, or someone will tell my daughter “I didn’t know you and your Aunty shared the same name”.

My daughter bumps into her Aunty across town etc, and is civil towards her and even mentioned to her about her account sharing the same name. Aunty said “Well that is how I introduce myself to people, I am thinking of legally changing my name as I really like your name”. (BS)

My SIL has no part in my children’s lives, and vice versa.

Just today i met someone who said “I had no idea you had married children and were a Nanni, I saw the pic of your grand daughter on your daughters FB page”.
Me.“What are you talking about? My children are ABCD, the ones you have met.”
Her, " No , I saw it on so and so’s page."
Me, " THAT is not my daughter, that is my SIL who thinks she shares the same name as my daughter".

I’ve told my daughter to close down her account. Her point is, why should she have to close her account. Should she close her account and re open another, what name should MY daughter use, since she cannot use her own name.
I’d appreciate helpful advice, if any.
Thanks.

Your daughter should have asked her if she is planning to attend the same college as your daughter as well. This is ridiculous. When complaining to FB you should point this out that she is impersonating your daughter by using these details. Also, if your daughter is using Twitter, then she should post her own profile link on Twitter and a note saying there is another fake profile by her name. This should somewhat reduce people adding your jethani.